prefered pain relief and birth plans

[Kristin27]

I didn't have a birth plan because I didn't feel that strongly about certain things like who is to do what etc. I just wanted to go with the flow and make decisions as they came up. I was happy with that for my birth and will do the same next time.

In relation to pain relief, I went in aiming for a drug free birth, but keeping my options open. My DD was posterior so I was in lots of pain, I had the works- pethadine, gas and an epidural and don't regret any of it.

Good luck with your birth and enjoy your little bubby, it's the most wonderful experience ever!

[BellyBelly]

Birth plans are most useful when you educate, inform and reinforce the birth plan with good choices. If you want a normal, natural birth, stats say your worst choices are private Ob, private hospital. Find a doula (50% less c/s, 30% less forceps, vaccum etc) and get some good birth education. The Pink Kit, the Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth, Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth... anything on the BB recommended reading list.

[Tobily]

Birth plans are most useful when you educate, inform and reinforce the birth plan with good choices. If you want a normal, natural birth, stats say your worst choices are private Ob, private hospital. Find a doula (50% less c/s, 30% less forceps, vaccum etc) and get some good birth education. The Pink Kit, the Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth, Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth... anything on the BB recommended reading list.

At the risk of being repetitive... Absolutely agree.

It's great to do a birthplan but it's really important to make choices that are going to give you the best possible chance of seeing it come to fruition. And that all starts with education.

Unfortunately there is not alot of really useful or empowering information being given to pregnant mums via the mainstream health system so you really need to take responsibility for educating yourself. Do some reading (have a look at the store here, or do a search on natural birth at Amazon, or Capers) - some good authors to start with are Sarah Buckley, Sheila Kitzinger, Janet Balaskas, Ina May Gaskin, Henci Goer, or Michel Odent. The Pink Kit that Kelly mentioned is also a fantastic resource for both mums and partners.

Independent birth classes are also a good place to start. Do a search for active birth classes in your area, or have a look at some offered by the Childbirth Ed Assoc (CEA).

Once you have those things in place, you'll be in a really good position to do an effective birth plan - because you'll know your stuff, you'll know your options and you'll feel confident in your choices....which gives you a much better chance of being able to follow through with them.

Congratulations and all the best

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Talk it through, talk it through, talk it through! Not just education. Bore yourself to tears with it, along with your support people. That way you don't have to think, you know it by heart, it's going to happen.

Pick your support people carefully. If they put their wants over your needs (DH wanted a hospital birth and no doula, I needed a homebirth with MAYBE a doula and midwife but ideally no-one) then they'll do it during the birth. I ended up in hospital, no support and with about fifty thousand people surrounding me - see the "first world birth" from Monty Python's Meaning of Life - I am a Yorkshire lass so was planning on the "third world birth" from aforementioned film.

Reading doesn't help if you have bullies and no support when you give birth. Sadly, that's what midwives and Obs are in my experience - non-supportive bullies.

My preferred pain relief was being left alone or being supported. While that happened I had no pain (29 hours of 33, DS was half-way down at that point). And that's with a posterior baby; he was back-out before I went into the hospital (2 hours after labour started, 33 hour labour) and they started making their demands.

[Tobily]

Reading doesn't help if you have bullies and no support when you give birth.

This is true. But understanding the influence that your support people will have, and how their feelings about birth will affect their ability to support you, is something that you will glean from getting your information from good sources. It all comes back to that fundamental issue of taking responsibility yourself for knowing what you need to know.

It's a very intricate picture and unfortunately most women only have nine short months to put it together - so you have to be choosy about where you get your info. Question everything, and start from one very basic premise: this is your body, and your baby. No one can do anything to you, or your baby without your consent. Inform yourself (and your support people) so that you are the one in control...even when things don't go how you thought they would.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Hun, you can know all there is to know. You can understand influences. You can be as frickin responsible as that stupid husband isn't - but if he says that we WILL NOT ever meet with a doula for a chat and he will turn one away at the birth then you don't really have a chance of having that support, now do you?

Just being educated isn't the answer. Getting decent support and sending your DH away for a week when you go into labour may be. And ignore him if he promises to respect your wishes just to get in on the birth if you know deep down that he won't because your gut is usually less of a liar than a man.

[Tobily]

Hun, you can know all there is to know. You can understand influences. You can be as frickin responsible as that stupid husband isn't - but if he says that we WILL NOT ever meet with a doula for a chat and he will turn one away at the birth then you don't really have a chance of having that support, now do you?

Just being educated isn't the answer. Getting decent support and sending your DH away for a week when you go into labour may be. And ignore him if he promises to respect your wishes just to get in on the birth if you know deep down that he won't because your gut is usually less of a liar than a man.

Hey, I'm a doula - I understand how important good support is. That's my job

I guess what I'm saying is that a woman who truly "gets" that as well, before she goes into labour, can make decisions about her support people that are going to be beneficial to her and her goals. And again, that comes down to understanding the value of good support before labour starts. That's education...fundamentally. Education about what sort of support you are going to need helps you to recognise that your hubby is going to be useless as a support person and to make other plans. Unfortunately alot of us don't get to do that with our first babies because we don't have a clue what we (or our partners) are going to be up against or what labour is going to be like. That's why it's really important that we share our experiences because there's always someone reading this that is learning something