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Thread: Pregnancy Vent Thread #2

  1. #127

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    Hi Ali and welcome. i am due same day as you. Feel free to join our buddies thread... when you are not so busy



    here we are... http://bellybelly.com.au/forums/your...009-2-a-8.html

  2. #128

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    Alimoy, well done on the multitasking! and it wasn't a badly written post at all. you are very right about it being more about the person making the comment than about the person the comment is made to.

    Kitten, they don't know what they're talking about. I don't think a large family would be for me (for many reasons), but I can definitely see why people want to have lots of children. I think it is definitely a matter of getting your priorities right. Family is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD. But a lot of people don't see it that way. One of my main reasons for only wanting 2 kids is my family. I mean my family overseas. My parents, brother and nephew are in Germany and if I had more children, I wouldn't be able to afford to go there. It is not about affording luxuries, but because I want to keep up a relationship with my family and let them be a part of my new life and family here.
    But, as I said, this is my reason, if it wasn't for that, I could see myself with more children, although I'm not sure how I would cope. But I do definitely take my hat off to women who do it. It is not an easy job. To me, women like you are superwomen.

    Mustangsachy, I did use that line in late pregnancy. People would ask me how far along I was and I was jsut putting on a dumb expression ad asked: what do you mean??? you should have seen the shocked expression in their faces. i cracked up and put them out of their misery by telling them. they were so relieved. it was so much fun.

    Saša

  3. #129

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    I wanna gripe about the ouchy boobs too....AND the fact that I'm sure there's no turning back for them now. They're not going to be all, well, UP anymore!
    I've gone from a 12E to a 12J and it's impossible to find bras in that size. My back hurts and my neck is a mess. Although, on the up side (I think), my nipples started leaking a tiny bit today and I'm only 12 weeks, so hopefully that means baby will be well fed

  4. #130

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    My turn again:

    I ordered pizza that I thought I felt like but don't think I do now then got sad and depessed over a sick baby giraffe on the TV...

    Bah humbug!

    And I even bought 2 pairs of shoes and a handbag today but no mood improvement. I have an addiction to "Chuck Taylor's"...Converse sneakers that come in all sorts of different designs...partially because I have MASSIVE feet and these are really comfy and in my size. I probably have 15 pairs, all in different weird and wonderful print and colours and today bought a totally black pair for work (required) and just becuase I didnt have a pair in my all time favourite colour, I bought a bright purple pair of high-tops.

    This is only a boo-hoo becuase my gut is getting in the way of my tying my shoelaces so it takes a loooong time! :-)

  5. #131

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    Don't get me wrong - I love being pregnant. But of course there are some things that are testing my patience to say the least.

    1. My MIL is so selfish I sat through 90mins of her crapping on until she asked me how everything is going with the pregnancy. This is her only son's first baby so you think she could show a tad more interest. When I showed her the 12 week scan pics, she proceeded to tell me how tired she is & how she didn't get anything done over the weekend because she's so exhausted. Hello - I haven't cleaned the house in weeks darl

    2. Yes everyone is an expert & it's so annoying!! As if none of us has done any pregnancy research ourselves!! I have gotten "You know you shouldn't drink any alcohol/eat ham/soft cheeses/drink coffee/smoke etc" "Oh you know you should be taking folate don't you?" "You know you should stay away from kitty litter" "16 weeks is too early to feel the baby move, are you sure you know what you're feeling? It should feel like butterflys" & "You know natural childbirth is very painful." The last two comments were from somebody who has never even had kids

    3. People telling me I am having a boy or a girl because of my stomach, my hips, what side I feel movements on or how many letters in my maiden name.

    4. People saying "You're not finding out the sex are you?" Yes I will be hopefully, if bubs co-operates. "Oh that's so disappointing, you'll ruin the surprise, you will regret it." Personally I believe that it's these people who the surprise is ruined for. I will be excited no matter what - I am having a baby after all. What is more exciting than that?

    Oh well, at least we have a great site like this where everyone understands

  6. #132

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    hello all i am very wxcited to have just learnt i am expecting number 4 and so far my personal complaints are really sore boobs....and my family..i am too scared to tell them as with our last they werent very supportive and after he was born have told me to stop and my aunty told me i should get rid of him when i first told her i was pg with number 3...i dont understand what there problems are i know we are young but already having 3 we just wanted them all together before we stop for a long time and its our choice...i dont understand why ppl have to be so rude...this is supposed to be a happy time and im so worried about the horrible things ppl will say i dont even want to tell them...most of my friends have been supportive and i am very thankful for this site too but it would be nice if i didnt have this stress too

  7. #133

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    Monika, I can't believe people can say something like that. How horrible. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
    Congratulations on your pregnancy!!!! Happy & Healthy 9 months to you!

    Sasa

  8. #134

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    Congratulations on your BFP, Moni. I can certainly understand your apprehension - that comment is horrible. I am the kind of person that would remind her that the baby is her family too, and deserves just as much concern and compassion as any other member.

    No matter what they say, I hope you have a H&H 9 months.

  9. #135

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    thanx guys i think she just says it to look out for us its just she has no good bed side manner as they say..she is like this with everything not just this but i wish when ppl can see ur happy about ti tey wouldnt say mean things....i know im not the most responsible or organised and i can be a lil lazy around the house sometimes lol but my kids are loved and thats the main thing

  10. #136

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    Default negative people

    Just found this thread and thought I would put in my 2 cents worth.....

    I told my sister that I was going for my NT scan in a couple of weeks. She told me that she would hold off "congratulating" me until I had met the 12 week mark and that the baby is okay. She holds out for drama. My sister is one of those people who has a friend who's been through what your going through (I swear you could make something up and sure as [email protected] she would know someone who had that too!). You just know that if something went wrong it would feed her entire network of crows no end of gossip for the next 12 months. She would also tactlessly say, see aren't you glad I told you to be practical and not too hopeful! I felt like saying, well should I be telling you how wonderful DH is because you know he could divorce me, I mean we can't be living in hope that we stay together forever right?! She just makes me mad because I've been emotional enough lately (spontaneous outbursts of tears) and I really don't need the negativity around me. Not sure when I can be excited by the fact that DH and I are having a baby together...hmmm, maybe once it's born?

    Phew.... that's better now!!

  11. #137

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    Just wanted to add one in here!

    The next person at work who blames the loss of a document on my baby brain while i tear around going crazy trying to find something that i have never even seen on my desk let alone heard of and then have that person giggle and say "oh, it's ok i have it here" I will do something nasty to them... once i think of it XD

  12. #138

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    wtf gives ppl the right to say "was it planned?" omg wtf so so so many ppl have said taht to me and im like yes it was planned but too bad if it wasnt and you've just shamed the hell out of me?
    is it any of your business?

  13. #139

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    "Was it planned" was the first thing my mother said when DP and I told her we were expecting. I was so embarrassed she may as well have asked "oh, and was it a good one, dear?"

  14. #140

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    I don't like feeling so tired...

    I'm a permanent night nurse at the moment, but am going to have to do half days/half nights from the next roster because I'm just not coping with the whole weird sleeping pattern thing any more! I'm usually such an awake and energetic person, I haven't had the energy to do any of my usual sporty stuff! Not even surfing I don't even want to think of how I'll be at work when it's busy and I'm the size of a cow

    I'm a bit sick of almost puking everytime I open the fridge, too. I'm sure I keep it clean and fresh, I don't know what the heck the smell is in there that makes me gag! I've had a couple of migraines, too, which I normally get very rarely, and no cafergot for me to help them go away

    I think I might be scaring DP a bit with my grumpiness I just can't feel cheery at the end of a long day of feeling sick and tired and sore, hopefully the glorious second trimester energy boost kicks in soon!

    There is a plus though, my hair is nice and shiny Yay!

  15. #141

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    GoingtobebiginAsia: LOL 'was it a good one dear' had me in stitches!!

    I'm over the constant 'advice' from people who had children 30 years ago and have not heard about any of the modern ways or breakthroughs with pregnancy nowadays. I guess in a way there is no need for them to trawl google late night searching for reasons why they suddenly have a leaky nipple. I just hope I keep up with modern medicine when my children have children! Being pregnant is the best way to get advice that you don't want or need.

    People assuming this is my first child and making comments like 'Oh you won't stay a size 8 once you've had this baby' with a smug smirk on their faces. I love smiling sweetly and saying 'Well I did after Jett this is number 2'' and walking away. Or people asking me how old I am with a look of digust when I tell them I'm pregnant (because I look alot younger than I am) and then when I say 'Turning 30 in a couple of weeks' and watch their facial expression change to 'friendly' pffft!

    And lastly peoples opinions on baby names, rolling their eyes, smirks, and comments. I would never do this to a pregnant friend! I can't think of anything worse than a pregnant lady telling me a name she has probably been thinking about for months and decides to open up and tell me and then for me to roll my eyes!? How rude!!

    *running away now as I could keep going! :P*

  16. #142

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    Hello,

    bub number 2 due 27th March next year, but no doubt it will be late likes DS so lets say April

    Just popping in 'cause I don't have time to maintain a proper belly buddies thread, and felt the need to post.

    Alimoy, I agree, and probably guilty myself as humans we generally like to swing the conversation back to ourselves in some way.

    Cheezle, - welcome to your first pregnancy, where everyone has an opinion and you start to judge your inlaws in a different light. probably best to go out and get the t shirt saying don't touch my belly now, 'cause apparently when it sticks more than about 3 cm from normal it's free game for anyone to touch, like your a lucky budda or something

    Heavenly: Congratulation I don't alway agree with things other people do in regard to how many kids, how young they have them etc etc, but I could never be disappointed for someone. Maybe it's jealousy. When you tell them, just hold your head up high and show them you don't care what they think.

    Cass, lol You be excited from day dot hun! I never tell anyone till about 13 weeks, 'cause I persona;;y don't want to deal with anyone if something 'heaven forbid' went wrong, but it's so hard not to share, 'cause you just want to jump out of your skin with excitment. That is where BB comes in. Plus I also like everyone to go really? you kept that a secret. Funily enough my boss always figures it out but my mum doesn't, go figure

    Teagz: I'm there with you, I have made it clear in no uncertain terms I don't believe in baby brain, i think the same thing happens when your exhausted for other reasons. I had more baby brain after DS arrived than before, so far this time I keep catching myself out before I bugger it up, went to put vegies in the bin tonight instead of the fridge.

    ttcanxiety: lol I think people know better than to ask me that, I think a good responce was, why yes would you like to know the exact day conception occured, and maybe explain to them how fertility charting works. Funny thing is that my bosses wife is due like almost exactly the same day as me, and now I have way too much insight into his sex life!!!

    Linzy on the names, I'm currently waiting for a friend to have her bub, absolutley petrified she might choose the name I want, eek, I've gotten passed one friends bub a couple of weeks ago unscathed, one more to go, fingers crossed she doesn't use one of my names. I picked them like 8 years ago, and I'm set on them, got number 1 right, hope i'm not too dissapointed if i don't get the 2 boys & 1 girl I've always wanted :}

    now onto me, I have a conundrum, I'm approx 19 weeks, and will be going public, and I have to decide in the next week or so if I want to go all antenatal clinic at the hospital or if I want to do shared care with my GP.
    I'm in a different position than I was with DS, I hated my doctor at the time, and went with just the clinic and was very happy, (except for the waiting) But this time I am thinking of shared care, cons are that it will cost me more $$ and I don't think they will use a dopler so I want hear bubs heart beat each visit. but the pros are that I like this doctor, there should be less waiting for the appointments, he's great with Kids, has an ob certificate on the wall (yet he isn't practising), great bed side manner and most importantly I think he's a hotty. I'm also wondering if I should do shared care to build up the raport with him because I feel like I have finally found a great GP!

    Well ahppy & health PG to everyone, you are all great mums!

  17. #143

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    Latest rant..

    DH lifting my tshirt to show his mates and the whole world/shopping centre/pub/wherever we are- my baby bump. Only for me to panic and eyeball my bikini line area as he tears my clothes off in case a stray hair is waving at the world from out of my underwear. I have told him so many times now 'don't do that, I can't trim as often as I used to now and it's embarressing' he's like 'pfffft who cares, let em say something, I'll shut em up' yeah like someone is going to say 'Ewwwww you have a pube sticking out, omigod how gross I think I'm going to be sick' not likely! He's sort of stopped doing it now, but still forgets

    People who won't take no for an answer with handing over all their second hand baby products. Yes it's a very nice gesture but I had my heart set on buying a brand new baby car seat (as I'm a little worried about a 4 year old one whether it's still rigid and strong and that has never been cleaned of it's baby gunk in years) I told DH I wanted a brand new one, but because he wants to save money he will take anything. As for the pram I want...I want one with four big rubber wheels, comfy and padded for baby, with drink and snack holders for me and for baby. But oh no.. Father in Law and Mother in Law think I should buy a small fold up one so 'they' can fit it in their car...grrrr I like to walk with my baby alot to keep fit and to show them the world around that doesn't involve a cot and bedroom ceiling. My in laws never walk anywhere they are both car bodies so I see we are going to have problems soon. The cot I want is just a simple wooden one, but the in laws have got this old metal one from the seventies that their daughter/son/granddaughter and grandson have all used so they want to keep using it. The only problem is the bars have huge gaps and the edges of the mattress don't fit against the cot they have got blankets squashed down the sides to make it fit. This makes me a little nervous thinking about SIDS and possible head getting caught in the bars!

    Rant over
    Last edited by Linzy; October 30th, 2009 at 09:22 AM. Reason: dyslexic fingers

  18. #144

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    I cannot believe I have only JUST found this thread

    Linzy -

    1- car seat - thank the person for the offer and ask them if once your done with it if they want it back or if they are happy for you to take it to an op shop. If they don't want it back just take it straight to the op shop.

    2 - Belly proud man - one good hard slap across the face saying "I said DON"T" should fix that

    3- Pram - Tell PIL that they can use the pram they got you for their car and tell them you have one on layby (even if you don't just tell them that)

    4- Cot - get a SIDS pamphlet and give it to them and tell them you are happy for them to use the old cot when baby comes and sleeps at their place providing it complies with the latest safety regulations. If they argue anything or say "well our kids didn't have any problems (blah blah blah) " just tell them that unless it complies baby will not be sleeping in it period. OR you could just use the whole layby thing again.

    FWIW - my IL's have things that they used for their first son who is in his late 40's. There was pressure for me to use the old stuff and DH and I fought tooth and nail over my not wanting to use these things. I just printed off a whole tonne of things for DH and said "IF the cot etc comply with these regulations and IF YOU (meaning him) want to spend the time to clean up the cot etc, then I will use them"

    Needless to say I ended up buying second hand pram and Boori cot

    My SIL is 3 months behind me and there is pressure for her to use some of the old things so when her MIL and my mother were up here MIL was "suggesting" how you don't need all these fancy thing blah blah and I just said yep your right but at least they are safety tested and rated and they are designed to make things easier. Just because things were done harder 30 years ago doesn't mean today's mothers need to work just as hard when there is more expectations on them to be more than At Home Mums"

    I also said to SIL to educate herself in what is considered safe, just because something survived 5 children donkeys ago does not mean it will still be safe to use now.

    MY VENT

    1 - "YOUR HUUUGEEEE, you MUST be carrying a big baby"
    Yes thank you very much for commenting about my weight, I feel like a whale there is no need to point out I look like an elephant. Do it again and I will rip your Fn head off.

    2 - "You MUST be so sick of the pregnancy by now" followed by sympathetic look
    NO you dumb arse I am NOT sick of the pregnancy in fact I am loving and embracing every second of it because it has taken me almost 53 months and 3 losses to get to this stage. Mind your own Fn business and keep you comments to yourself.

    3 - "Make sure you don't jump and run to your baby everytime it cries because they are just manipulating you"
    I will manage my family the way I see fit besides a baby cries because it cannot tell you whats wrong and what it needs. Babies are in fact INCAPABLE of manipulation because to be manipulative you need a knowledgeable understanding THEY ARE BABIES. How about you pass on advice ONCE YOU HAVE YOUR OWN FN KIDS.



    Nae x

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