I went in knowing I had every drug option available to me. I took gas, threw up, no more of that thanks. I asked for an epidural, they tried to get it in four times, couldn't get it in, so no go. The nurse offered pethadine, so I took it, but it didn't seem to do anything other than make me snooze between contractions.

At the point of the epidural and it wasn't going in, I realised that I would have to do it. Just me, with nothing left to help. And I did. I got to a point where I asked my OB for a caesar and he (thankfully) told me that I could do it, if I had a caesar, my baby would have to be revived because I'd need a GA. So I knew I was on my own and I DID IT!!!!!! And I was so proud that I did. Fear overtook me in the early stages, but once I realised I was on my own, I got my head around it and just did it. And I know for next time that I can.