I am not a lttter but I couldn't read this post and not comment.
You shouldn't feel guilty at all about the way you are feeling, it is normal, especially when you have been together for so long as a couple. Having a baby is a huge huge changer and yes the honest truth is that it does impact your relationship a lot but as you said yours is strong and will be able to handle it and the impact isn't neccessarily a negative one. It creates challenges such as less time to the 2 of you, stress, adjusting to being a mum and dad not just bob and jane anymore but I also remember when ds1 was born it was like falling in love with my dh all over again, I just felt so in love and amazed by this beautiful baby we had created.
Having a baby, specially your first is huge and everyone is going to have anxieties about the things to come, it is normal and natural. As far as you fil coming is there anyway he could stay somewhere else? or is this something your are comfortable with? Are you comfortable with him there when you go into labour and with him being there when you bring home a baby, it can be a very emotional time bringing home a new baby and I really really strongly believe you need to have ppl there you are really comfortable with.
Poppyfairy - I feel EXACTLY the same as you do hun and so does my DH!
Actually DH and I talk about this a lot. We totally realise that after 11 years just the two of us (5.5 of those TTC), things are going to be soooooooo very different.
Have you chatted to your DH about this? I can tell you that he will be feeling much the same as you babes.
You're not being ungrateful at all, if anything you are being very self aware. It's good that you are realising that things will be different and not in denial that everything is going to stay the same.
Huge hugs and thank you for a post that is so honest and thought provoking.
Sue xxx
Of course it's normal to feel this way, your life is undergoing a huge change! (Oh and good on your Dad for finally leaving the wicked witch!)
And just think, after a few motnhs when everyone is settled in maybe your Dad can take the little one for a walk or something so you & DH can have little snippets of time together, and yes I was also going to mention not to forget date nights!
Also for you (and anyone else out there feeling the same) I have been recommended a fantastic book to read, it's called "Your Marriage Can Survive a Newborn" and it's by Glenn & Natalie Williams (Broadman & holman Publishers, ISBN 978-0-8054-4060-7) I'm still reading it but so far - brilliant!
Good luck and I hope all goes well with your delivery!
Poppy - I can't offer any wonderful advice sorry as i'm still in the early stages of pregnancy number one, but I can tell you that i've had the same thoughts and you're defnitely not alone, and I think it's a very normal reaction to having a baby! And with all the family stress you've had over the last few months, well I can imagine it would be very easy to feel overwhelmed by everything. Sounds like you're doing a marvellous job - wishing all the very best
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