Finding the balance between spacing your children and infertility (LTTTC)

[briggsy's girl]

Without wanting to be dramatic, for me the question was, would I prefer to not have another child (because I waited too long) over having a gap that might not be ideal for first 12 months.

this was our logic in not using contraceptive at all. our chances were slim of conceiving, and if it happened, any age gap would HAVE to be ideal! we didn't fall pregnant til just before DD's 2nd birthday (so about 22 months of unprotected sex in there) - we lost that bub the day after DD's second birthday, which was heart breaking - but nature did what nature did, and now we just wait and see if it happens for us again naturally. DD is now 2.5, so i guess we'd be looking 3.5 ish years if i was to get BFP soon. i'd have liked less gap, but each day shows me that DD is more and more likely to understand and maybe even help a little. so if nature says it's to happen, it will happen eventually...

[MrsFabuloso]

I'm not a LTTC er so I can't comment on those terms, but aren't you quite young hun? So if you wanted to have 3 children before 30, despite it possibly taking a couple of years each child, wouldn't it be doable?

[*LittleMissSummer*]

I don't know if i would class myself as being a "LTTCer" but we had tried for a baby since i was 17 and weren't successful until 21. But its become apparent that i may be less fertile than i first thought.... the fact ive had a m/c plus 2 chemical pregnancies. We too wanted atleast a 3 year age gap between our kids but when my pcos returned nastily after having DD we reconsidered and we want to have all our children while we know we can.

I do agree with Keike that obviously don't TTC now while the thought of another pregnancy is terrifying. I do think waiting until your DD is 12 months because as you say atleast then if you were to concieve right away you would have atleast 2 years in between.

But only you can decide when a good time is, maybe you can speak with your doctor and start preparing for a second.

[Cassius2]

we had issues conceiving DD1 and it took almost 2 years due to endo etc. I had similar thoughts and worries, but i had another time-bomb to consider of my PND (unfortunately!). i wanted to be well and truly in recovery from that before we TTC and that did throw a spanner in the works a bit as i set a pretty high bar (ie symptom free for 12 months).

so we were aiming for a 2ish age gap. in the end DD2 took 9 months and we have a 3 year and 5 day gap...which i have found to be perfect

but there was the fear tbh, the fear of not being able to make another baby or to hold onto them long enough to bring them earthside (we had many first tri losses over the years). i dont know, i guess that for those of us that have fertility concerns the worry/fear of 'can I/we?' will never go away. My only advice is to only start trying when you actually really want to (sounds obvious, but i hope you get my meaning lol).