I am the same as Maruschke - our journey was not as long or as difficult as yours but I struggled when pg with DD to be truly connected until she is born. I remember when lying in surgery (I had a c-sect) and they got her out that I was just saying in my mind over & over again 'just breathe, just breathe' b/c I was so scared that I wasn't going to have a baby to take home. I did feel alot better when DD was born, I felt like I could protect what I had, rather than what I couldn't really see yet (when pg) ITMS?

I sometimes struggle with this pg but I try to live in the moment as much as possible and when I feel things overwhelm me, I just go to a quiet place and just sit & lie down and recollect my thoughts.