THankyou everyone, I told her yesterday, in private with her husband and mine there. She cried and smiled and then quickly left. From your words I understood so much more what to expect. I told her that I could accept that if she was sad and didn't want to talk about it that was fine and that I wouldn't talk about it unless she asked. My mum and dearest SIL are good support for here. It hurts that I can't be a support yet but hoping she will come around in a while.

One last question.... should I offer to let her come to scans etc.... ??? or would that be too much like a slap in the face???