Parenting after LT TTC #5

[grub17]

hi murph! i don't think there is 'right' or 'wrong' when it comes to bubs - just what works for you! i've recently decided to ditch the guilt trips i've been giving myself about various things in particular listening to my doc and starting ash on solids early (major guilt trip there). but cutting yourself some slack is so liberating and also looking at the bigger picture!

These babies are growing up too quick!

[saph204]

Murph as long as she is happy and you are happy you are doing everything right. I have always said as a mum you should listen to advise and then do what fits you. Xavier has no daytime routine and is a really crappy daytime sleeper and always has been. So I gave up trying to force him into a three sleep a day routine and he sleeps when he wants to sleep. In saying this we do have a fairly strict night bedtime routine but this stems from Campbell. Bed is at 7pm when nieghbours finishes, teeth story and bed. Campbell has been in a bed since he was fifteen months old and he has never gotten out of his bed. Even if he is not tired at 7 he goes to bed and just chats to his friends (teddies). Xavier has fallen into this routine as well and he sleeps from 7 til 9.30 when I dream feed him and then he sleeps til about 6.30-7.

It is hard to have to watch you little ones go through these procedures, we have been there with Campbell, you just have to soldier on and not let it get on top of you they are more relisient then we think. Campbell has had 2 barrium swollows, try getting a brest feed baby to drink chalk through a bottle. The only good thing was he had to fast so he was extremely hungrey and took it.

[Loveinamist]

Hey Murph! Yep I am with you! I am doing everything wrong too!! LOL! But I sat and thought about it and I thought that half of the things we sometimes feel pressured to do are not 'lifetime' skills. Daytime napping in a cot for example, by two they are out of a cot and by five they are at preschool or like here in the UK at school all day with no naps. So why the big fight to get them to settle in a cot? DS naps on me, in the sling, in the carseat and sometimes on our bed (most times with me napping beside him!!) He may sleep for 15 minutes or an hour...if he wakes up happy then it must have been enough for him. Night time sleeps are different. He will need to be able to go to sleep at night as he has to do that for the rest of his life. So we do have a routine for that. But it does involve me feeding him to sleep. But I figure that other mums are using dummies or rocking or some other tool to get them to sleep so what is so bad about him getting his favourite thing as his sleep association? Going to sleep is meant to feel good isn't it? We cosleep with a cot sidecarred to our bed. He starts off in that for about two hours before we go to bed. Then at his first feed he comes in with us. I think he feeds about twice in the night....I have no idea...I am asleep for a lot of it!!! I LOVE cosleeping. Love waking up and snuggling in the morning. Love when you stir slightly and see their little golden head sleeping soundly and contentedly beside you!!! LOVE breastfeeding lying down and we both drop off to sleep and stay in a cuddle for alot of the night. Although my SPD is coming back so I sometimes wake in a bit of pain from sleeping on my side too much but I take a few paracetamol and it helps and I am going to see a physio so hopefully that will help. Anyway the crux of it is I have no idea when DS naps, I have no idea when he feeds. Even his nighttime routine depends on what we are doing.....there have been a few nights lately where because of our committments with our new vegetable allotments we have been to evening meetings and get togethers and he has slept in the sling in the pub or wherever till midnight!! LOL While we can do that with only one child we will!!
Anyway everytime I feel a pang when I read something about what a 'normal' 4 month old does or hear people talkiing about putting their LOs down for a two hour nap in their cot, I just think 'there are millions of babies around the world now who have never seen a cot, live in a one room house which probably doesn't have a clock in it to record their naps, but they still manage to function as children and adults eventually!!!' And even in 'first world' countries the attitude is different. In fact an Italian lady who we met in the pub the other night responded beautifully to someone's protest to us that 'isn't it past his bedtime' when they saw DS asleep in his sling. She said 'bedtimes are for adults, babies sleep whenever and wherever!!' Love it!!!!!

[Greenslw]

Murph :Hug: hope you're out in the sun today sounds like you're doing things just perfect for you and yours and you can't do anything else.

Hi Grub, Sithy, Poppy, Marcellus, Boc, Kelly and all

Just wanted to share a minor miricle Linc slept 5.15pm to wait for it da da dum 3.45am! although DH and I both got up to check him He didn't sleep much yesterday at Aunty's 2x20mins and 1 45! got home guzzeled a bottle shower with DH and SLEEP! Week two of work is blah but I'm getting a plan in order. I wonder if I could get a nanny for the mornings! LOL nice thought anyways. It seams just 8-10am is my issue, and Linc's most unsettled time.


Cold here today but pretty sun is making all the grass glissen and sparkle I do love winter. (for a while)

[saph204]

Poppy I am with you, we have a nighttime routine which really is a cuddle and bed a 7pm. But during the day he is all over the place and I have given up trying to do a routine. He sleeps when he wants to or not as he is today. I have a friend who is trying to force her newborn into a very structured routine of you will feed now because it is time and you will sleep now because the routine says you will, I have had to back away because it doesnt work for me. I hear you about the back pain. I slept with X this morning and I feel like a cripple today. But then my pelvis is so bad again that I an back in the brace that I used whilst I was preg.

[saph204]

Just need to have a little brag. Xavier sept from 8pm til 6.10 this morning. Yay

[grub17]

oh saph that's wonderful although i'm hugely jealous!
just discovered a 3rd tooth coming through... one of the top fangs!!! his 2nd one isn't even all the way through yet, and i thought the front 2 came next! should i be worried? see someone? He's only 6 months next friday, at this rate he'll have a head full of teeth by 8 months!

[Lenny]

Just need to have a little brag. Xavier sept from 8pm til 6.10 this morning. Yay

Shaddup you!

I am soooo jealous. Master A is 5 months and I'm lucky if we get away with only being woken ywice at night. Usually it's 3 times! Ahhh, sleep...you are a fond memory

I wouldn't worry about teeth grub. Some children get them all really early and some take forever. I heard that your children's teeth (and when they come through etc) is roughly the same as your own. Do you know if yours came early?