Parenting After LT TTC ~ January - April 2008

[secochook]

Hi my name is Jason and my DW and I have a one month old girl named Luisa after over 6 years TTC. I am a bit older than I thought/wanted to be in becoming a father but am really wrapped about it. I think the hardest part so far is that after 12 years of marriage and having all but given up we had settled into a DINK lifestyle...investment property, trips overseas etc. I am now worrying about getting Luisa booked into schools and the like. Other than that I am sure we are going through all the normal things that first time parents are going through...total confusion as someone forgot to give us the operation manual!!!

Cheers

Jason
PS Is it ok for a bloke to visit this thread?

[sushee]

welcome Jason and of course you're cool to post in here.

For those who don't know me, my name is Janice but everyone here calls me sushee. I suffered from secondary infertility due to blocked tubes from an unsuccessful tubal ligation reversal. My DH and I TTCed for 3 years naturally before starting IVF and 5 stim cycles and 3 FETs later, we finally had success. We now have a son, almost 2, named Charlie.

I do feel differently with Charlie than I did with my 3 older kids (all teenagers now) but I don't know if that has to do with being older or being LTTTC, but my suspicions is that it's the latter. I am a far more anxious parent, far more of a perfectionist when it comes to my son, and just holding him close still makes me feel like I won lotto. I thought that last feeling would fade as time went on, but it hasn't at all, in fact I feel like it's become stronger. I work so I do leave him at childcare, plus I study at nights for uni after he's gone to bed, but for me, being separated from him is a means to an end - he's the focus of my ambitions, my love and all I have, so everything I do or try to achieve, I do with him in mind.

While I feel like I love him as much as I love my other kids, I think I have distinct and very powerful feelings of him being somehow more precious because it still all seems to good to be true.

So with this insanity I'll be joining you all in here!

[DJTTC]

Hi all, nice to know we have somewhere to come & visit!

Monnie - boy can I relate to how much your life changes, dh & I were together for 12 years before we had bub so I find it really hard not having 'our' time together.

Although I must say we had a spa bath with Jenna the other day & it was so special she absolutely loved watching the bubbles & talking to them.

Don't you feel to that because we have tried conceiving for so long that we can't admit how hard parenting is because after all 'this is what we wanted'!

I can't belive Felix is 6 months old already.

Well a quick intro on dh & I, we were ttc for nearly two years when our second clomid & IUI created our little miracle.

It turned out I had severe endo so had that all taken out but still couldn't get pg so that's when we started with the clomid/IUI.

As everyone knows it is such a stressful time but it is definately worth it when you have them finally in your arms.

I also had a terrible pg, then a 2 day labour so that wasn't a good time but what a joy our little princess is.

I look forward to talking to everyone & sharing their experiences, Jenna is just starting to sleep a bit better at night so that's good, although she is also starting to teeth so I guess that wont be happening for long.
It's funny how much easier everything is when you have some sleep!

Has anyone gotten rid of their baby brain yet?
I am so sick of being dumb, lol.

Jo - 28
Dh - 34

[sushee]

Jo I agree

when pg you don't feel like you can complain about all the aches and pains, and then when you have baby, you can feel like you can't complain about the sleepless nights, the leaky boobs, how you had the worst day coz baby did nothing but cry. I love Charlie immeasurably, but I know when all he wants to do is climb all over me while I'm trying to watch TV, I'm going to get peeved! And nobody better tell me how grateful I should be to have him at that moment, or they're going to get a TV remote in their eye! Lol!

Parenting IS hard and we should be able to complain if we want to! But yeah it does sometimes feel like we can't...

[Willow]

Parenting IS hard and we should be able to complain if we want to! But yeah it does sometimes feel like we can't...

Sushee - can't tell you how much I struggle with this on a daily basis.

I'm parenting after a loss, secondary infertility and IVF. I have been floored by how differently this feels to the first time I had a baby. I try not to let it feel different, but it just is.

I look forward to chatting with you all and to catching up with old friends.

I have to say, makes me warm and fuzzy to see some familiar names here and to know we've come out the other side...a little bruised and battered maybe but we got the reward we'd dreamed of!

[Allie]

Hi everyone,

Can I join in? I'd love to be part of this group.

I have a 8-month-old daughter after about three and a half years of TTC. Incredibly, ours was a natural conception, somehow achieved in the cycle immediately after a (failed) fresh IVF transfer.

I have wondered if LT TTC affects our parenting style. Certainly I think every single day how lucky we are to have our gorgeous DD. Mind you, we do have challenging moments! And our lives are still kinda upside-down!!

I probably won't be on here much as DD is not much of a day-sleeper (right now I'm thinking of all the chores I should be doing)... But I will pop in when I can.

[monnie]

Yeah...I definitely think LTTTC does impact on your parenting...

I think it's also tricky going from being long term partners to brand new parents. We've been together for 5 years before Felix arrived...and we were late newlyweds! It's strange not going out for dinner every week or going to concerts or just doing things on the spur of the moment...not that I want to go back to pre-Felix, but it is so different now...I guess it just takes time to adjust.

It's so lovely meeting all these new LTTC-ers...and Jason...you're more than welcome! Congratulations on your little girl!

[Rach75]

can I join in

it took 5 long years and 5 pg for me to finally bring my baby home he is now the most delightful 17 mth (on mon) child

he is the joy in our life the missing peive to make us complete

looking forward to getting to know you all