Parenting After LT TTC ~ January - April 2008

[monnie]

Yeah...I definitely think LTTTC does impact on your parenting...

I think it's also tricky going from being long term partners to brand new parents. We've been together for 5 years before Felix arrived...and we were late newlyweds! It's strange not going out for dinner every week or going to concerts or just doing things on the spur of the moment...not that I want to go back to pre-Felix, but it is so different now...I guess it just takes time to adjust.

It's so lovely meeting all these new LTTC-ers...and Jason...you're more than welcome! Congratulations on your little girl!

[Rach75]

can I join in

it took 5 long years and 5 pg for me to finally bring my baby home he is now the most delightful 17 mth (on mon) child

he is the joy in our life the missing peive to make us complete

looking forward to getting to know you all

[Allie]

Hmm, I can relate to those who were used to the long-term DINK lifestyle (allthough I never really thought about it like that before). Absolutely everything is different now and all our money/time/energy is spent in different (and sometimes boring) areas (e.g. nappy research)!

[summerluven]

Ooooh...and can I join in too? This looks good.

I can totally relate to everyone saying how much life has changed (DH and I were just chuckling about it over our dinner of last nights left overs ) and also to feeling like you can't complain during pregnancy or once you become a parent, for fear that someone will say "but you wanted this so bad" or something along those lines. I swear...if they ever!! I have kinda been waiting for it from my mum from time to time, but I actually think in the end she felt out TTC and AC journey almost as much as we did, despite her early denial.

A little of our story (not as horrible as some). We did the deed (and considered a lot of strange ideas!) with no results for 12 months after which time I went off to the gp to ask some questions. Was expecting her to send me off to a specialist because I had a bit of a wonky cycle and some strange stuff going on, and came home dreading telling DH that he had to go and get his fella's tested. But off he soldiered, joking all the time that he would blow the scientists away with the quality and talent of his swimmers. Devastatingly for both of us, but obviously more so him, the results came back shocking!! So off we went to IVFA, and had to go through a battery of tests, including a horrible experience with a hystiospalgiogram (spelling??). We ended up bombing out on four scores - MF issues, suspected endo, PCO and a blocked tube.

Thankfully, my god-send of a FS decided that it was best to leave the slicing of my abdomen till after he had achieved a pregnancy, considering how many things we had working against us. So we did our first cycle with high spirits after being sick of trying to do it the old-fashioned way, and I ended up in hosp with OHSS for a week. Horrible. That cycle resulted in a big fat PERIOD!

Second cycle, first FET, and we got what we had been longing for. And now he is with us, a 10 month old bouncing ball of fun, energy and laughter.

Ummmm, I should shut up now. I didn't realise I had so much to say, I guess it all came flooding back when I was reading your posts.

Looking forward to getting to know you all, and to have somewhere to come where people are going to understand where I am at and where I have been.

Cheers, and thanks to BB for this special part of forum world.

[monnie]

Wow!

These journeys are really heart wrenching...just reading your stories reminds me of that awful feeling of desperation, hopelessness and despair...

...and yet...here we are...talking about parenting!!! Such a miracle...

Our journey was simply one of trying and trying with no success...we never were able to find out 'what was wrong'...everything came back as normal...after 3 years, we finally conceived...first time that I was ever able to confirm. I have a feeling that I had a few very early losses, but nothing to confirm that except "that feeling". We conceived on our first round of clomid.

Now...here's something I wanted to ask you guys about...

After the years of trying (which I realise isn't as long as some of you), our intimate lives became pretty scheduled and 'routine'. It's like DTD 'lost it's spark' after a while...not because of problems in our relationship, but more because of the constant disappointment that it brought (not at that moment...but 2 weeks later, if you get my drift!)

I think our LTTTC journey has really impacted on this part of our lives now...even now that Felix is here...

Does anyone else have this issue?

[Shezabelle]

Hi everyone.. I'd like to join in too.. I so relate to not wanting to complain out loud about pg or parenting issues.
A little about me.. DH and I started trying in March 04, I came of the pill and then 1 AF in 6months later went to GP.. testing lead to diagnosis of PCOS.
Saw FS said " It will be teadious but we'll get there"
4 clomid cycles 3 IUI including one m/c @ 8weeks, and on to IVF it was, 1st cycle OHSS no transfer 1st FET only 1 emby survived thaw no luck 2nd fresh..my beautiful daughter Issy 14months old and I am excited to add I am pg with the only emby we had to freeze after her cycle.
I struggle most with people assuming this was a natural conception and making me feel like if only I'd given it more time!! I find I am very vocal about it being another IVF bub to avoid the insinuations(SP?)
Look forward to getting to know you all better

[sushee]

monnie,

I'm supposed to be studying so will have to come back to discuss in more detail but yes, oh yes absolutely re how LTTTC has impacted on our intimacy!

Will be back tomorrow to talk more about it but didn't want to lose that point of discussion!