Parenting after LTTTC #2

Hey everyone, thought i would pop in to see how we are all doing. Haven't been posting much lately, needed a little time away..

BW - YAY for Sam's teeth :)

Sazz - Hoep everyone is all better at your house now, and the nasty bugs stay away.

BIG Hello's to everyone else sorry for my lack of personals. Things are going alright here with us. DS is 14 months now, and started walking by himself last week! Look out world! He was unwell last week with a cold, and teething and as a result, we have gone from 2-3 breastfeeds per day back to about 4-5 plus our night time ones where he is sleeping in 2 hour blocks. We had him going down for around 3-4 hour sleeps before last week :( plus he has dropped all bottle feeds BUT on a positive note, he is getting better with his solids...
Anyway, just wanted to say hi to everyone, will try to visit a bit more now :)

hiya nic - long time no see!

Lydia - a newborn bubba is full on - so rely on whoever you can to give you some support whenever you need it. if it means kicking your DP out of bed and making him organise nappies and stuff, DO IT! you need to rest as much as you can whenever you can with a newborn hun! if you can feed laying down, it will help heaps cos you're resting at the same time. up until DD was about 4 or 5 weeks i was having an afternoon nap with her every day - i'd go and feed her in bed and i'd doze as well. i would just put a DVD on that i wanted to watch, and after five or six days, i'd actually see it all! now, i make sure to go to bed at the same time DD goes down for the night, and i'll sleep with her in bed with me in the mornings to make sure we both get longer to sleep. it will get easier once you're both used to each other. you are both still learning about each other, your boy is learning about this scary big wide world - it's just a bit scary for both of you! every bubba is different though - some sleep longer earlier, others later. my DD has been sleeping 5 or more hours at a stretch since she was about 5 or 6 weeks - she has regressions during growth spurts/wonder weeks, but she now sleeps up to 13 hours with only one wake up for a feed around 6am. when she was first born, and the first four weeks or so, she was feeding two hourly round the clock. so it can happen early! just make sure you don't let anyone try to force you to do more than you're ready to do. if the dishes wait, stiff bikkies! you and your son are THE most important thing right now - chores will wait!
if you can get hold of a copy of the book "the wonder weeks" it will explain a lot about unsettled periods in the first 15months or so of your sons life - it's all about mental developmental leaps - i was a sceptic until i got hold of the book and, on reading it (given DD was going through her 12 week WW at the time) i was completely seeing what was happening as a wonder week. your son will be approaching one at week 5 - but it can come a bit early or late... if you google "cyh wonder weeks" it's the first link that comes up. it's the SA version of child health nurse website - very helpful

BW - yay on Sam finally cutting those teeth! they've been a long time coming!

AFU - well, i think we're going through a bit of a sleep regression. last week we had two nights in a row where DD woke at around 3-4 for a feed, then went back to her normal sleeping through til 7-8. this week, she's done the same two nights in a row. am kinda hoping she sleeps through tonight, but she's almost due a growth spurt (they're every 6weeks or so aren't they?) or maybe a wonder week starting a little early. she is getting to be more of a mummy's girl at night - she'll be perfectly content sitting with me, no grizzling or anything, not wanting a feed or anything - hand her to daddy for snuggles, and she lasts no more than a couple of minutes before wanting me again. poor daddy! at least she is a daddy's girl during the day when he's around! even had her first shower with daddy yesterday. she loved it! for a girl who has never been rained on, and only really had her head wet in the bath (when he is laid in water) and at her christening - she did fanstastically!

Hello all...

I cant belive that I have finally made it here! Our little boy is now 8 weeks old...how time flys! He was born by emerg CS after waters broke but nothing really happened post that. Like MHB, our bub lost more than 10% of bodyweight in hospital, and we were readmitted to the maternity ward only a few days after discharge because he was not putting on weight. We have been breastfeeding and topping up with formula since he was 2 days old - and I must admit that I'm still struggling with the whole BF thing...

Anyway, look forward to catching up with everyone!
FG

Congrats on Archer's arrival FG. I hope things pick up from here on with his weight - but don't stress too much.
I hope you can drop the comp feeds because I think that can make life easier - just feeding one way or the other. Don't be afraid to admit that BF can be a challenge. I thought it was going to be easier but I found BF hard - but ultimately I was really pleased i persevered. I did find a merry band of supporters and helpers in the BF thread (marcellus being one of them :D)

Good luck with these first crazy hectic months, and congrats again :clap:

Congrats Farmgirl, and welcome over here!
Breastfeeding is often difficult in the early days - well, isn't everything with this parenting gig? But it's doubly extra hard if you're also worrying about your little one getting enough to eat. Definitely check out the breastfeeding threads if you haven't already - there are lots of lovely supportive ladies who have been through pretty much everything there is and made it out the other side.

That was really nicely said BG :). How's your little girl going at the moment? Has she settled better in the past few days?

Hi Nic, nice to see you round again. Sounds like it's one step forward one back...;) Way to go walking already - can't beleive it's been 14 months already! I think everyone else's babies must grow way faster than mine... seems like it anyway

Well, A actually ate dinner tonight. so here's hoping he can sleep a bit. What with all the snot lately we haven't been getting much sleep. oh well. can sleep later, right...?

Hi everyone else~~

farmgirl - yay you are back! i was wondering what happened! I struggle with the BF thing too its not as easy as we expect is it? hope all is well and look foward to hearing more from you.

Hi all
Hope you and your bubs are all doing well!

Went to FS on Monday to do some advance planning - looks like we'll be FETing in February... Have to do HRT cycle, with pills & pessaries - I think i'd rather injections :lol:

Getting some sleep here at the moment as we've dropped out of daycare. Wish we'd just listened to our instincts and never started - it really wasn't the right thing for A. The torture is over now at least.

M&H&B and FG and other newbies - hope you are settling in to parenting and enjoying your precious little ones.

Hey lovely ladies

It seems like forever since i posted but blah need to get something off my chest and i dont know where else to post it... So DH and I started our first IVf cycle for #3 this month after waiting 50 days for AF to arrive which was just torture. So we go in pay, get the drugs etc excited happy optimistic.. inject inject inject twice a day and then our first scan yesterday and.... 1 measly egg! women do this every month! I took all those nasty drugs and got 1 stinkin egg! So suffice to say cycle is cancelled and we have to decide when/if we want to go again. The bit that is making me the most cranky is i have to keep up the drugs to trigger etc when its not going to get me any closer to our next beautiful bundle. I feel extremely selfish considering i have two beautiful/gorgeous babies who are about to turn 1 next month and am really the luckiest woman alive i guess i just didn't expect it to hit so hard and hurt so much this time with such a complete failure of a cycle.. our worste ever.

Sorry for the completely self involved post i didn't know where else to put it cos i feel bad for being upset when so many beautiful friends are still struggling to get 1 beautiful baby and we are after #3.

Hope you are all fantastic... and lets kick start this thread again :)

Shan
xx

Awww Shan that sux. I'm so sorry hun. :hug: I really don't know what to say. :hug: You're not selfish at all. Yes, you have two beautiful darlings, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't feel gutted by this cycle. It must have been a nasty shock.

marcellus - yuk, why are you doing an HRT cycle?? It's all a bit exciting though isn't it! Little A is going to be a big brother :pray:

You both made me feel lucky again...how many people get a BFP from a natural FET.

Farmgirl - i hope things are getting better for you.

So, where IS everyone else...???

I is here - just not posting much! been a bit quiet around here - posting in general threads but not so much the parenting ones (go figure!)

Shannon, I was just thinking of you the other day, remembering that you were thinking of going back for number 3.
So sorry your cycle was crap. That really sucks.

Don't feel bad to feel bad - it's perfectly understandable. Wanting more doesn't mean you don't appreciate what you already have.

I really hope that this was just a one-off bad experience. Sometimes it's just about good or ****ty luck, you know? Our first cycle we ended up with zero eggs. Then the next one we got A.

I almost wanted to ask about doing a tracking cycle - i think i'm ovulating. But I rarely did before, so that's why HRT, I presume. Most likely they just want to manage it as much as possible in any case. My bf did this a while back (has her little girl now :D) and it just sucked how she had to take soo many pills & pessaries, three times a day.... oh well. it's all worth it I guess.

Hi all

Hi All

Just popping in to introduce myself, I know some of the girls in here already from the LTTTC and Pregnancy Thread and have now graduated myself.

Our beautiful Princess TARA ROSE was born on Monday 12th October, weighing 3200 grams (7lbs) via elective c/s. The c/s was my decision due to some bladder issues, but during delivery they also found that I was placenta previa anyway so the best outcome all round.

I have been home since last Saturday and seem to be coping well. She is an absolute dream baby and only crys when she wants feeding. Hopefully over the next however long, I can share my parenting experiences with you all and most importantly learn some things along the way.

Anyway, better go and get some housework done while Tara is sleeping.

Hi Kelly and welcome over here to the other side:)
Gosh that's lucky about the placenta, isn't it?

Glad to hear you're going well - do shout out if you have any probs or worries. And definately let us know all about your gorgeous daughter.

Here's my first bit of advice - don't do housework! :lol:

Welcome Kelly and hueg congratulations on Tara :) Sounds like you had the best possible outcome for you both!

Lol i agree with Marcellus no housework! :P

Thanks for the ears the other day ladies i really appreciate it.

Oh and Marcellus huge congrats on the mod role!! Absolutely perfect fit with you and Lenny running the place we are in great hands!!

I also had the hugest scare today with the kids..went to the bathroom came back Julia is eating a dorito and then i realised they also smashed my glass and Owen was sucking on a broken peice of glass (heart attack and a half!) and then whilst i am cleaning the glass up i notice Julia is missing.... she went through the safety gate and was sitting on the back deck at the top of the stairs with the dog! I need a drink....

Hi to all.

Shan
xx

Oh no Shannon - now I need a drink!
I know it won't make you feel any bettr, but I once found DS sucking on.... fibreglass. :jawdrop: I don't know where it came from

Thanks - trust me, I'm not running anything:rolleyes:

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with you and Lenny running the place we are in great hands!!

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LOL - running around like crazies :lol:

Hi Kelly, welcome to you and to Tara too. Hope things are settling in nicely for you.

Shan - you are a legend for coping with two toddlers. I can't imagine how hard that is. :hug: hope you are feeling a little better :hug:

Shannon, sorry to hear about your cycle..hope next one is better :) Your twins sound like they are having a ball distracting mum while the other gets into mischief! This week here, we have also been putting naughty things in our moouth, like Sudocream!! He thought it was fantastic, me I had a heart attack as well i think.

Marcellus, exciting news about your FET..Won't be long, christmas is around the corner, then it will be february! Just think, this time next year you could be in your third trimester.

Kelly, Congrats on the arrival of Tara Rose. Hope you are recovering well. :)

Big hello's to everyone else. Not much happening here...DS is like i said, experimenting with new flavours.. Sudocream, AA batteries, biro caps, Books, DVD's... DH suggested ringing the FS who did our transfer and ask if there was any well behaved embies or were they all little devils :lol: Next time he wants a good one, or a refund lol. He was describing to his brother the other day what DS is like with a favourite activity of his, which is standing on the side of the lounge grabbing the DVD's from the bookcase and hurling them across the room..He says, "Oh bro, it's like something from those Poltergeist movies, the DVD's are flying everywhere and there is this evil little giggle while we are screaming NO NO NO" :rofl: It's funny, because it's so true..

Sleep is starting to slowly improve....getting about 3-4 hours, wake for a feed then anywhere up to another 5 hours after that.

:rofl:
Your DS sounds delightfully wicked ;). IT's so hard to be serious when they giggle, isn't it?
So, you planning No.3 already?

Glad the sleep is improving. We seem to have turned a corner here.... most nights he's only really waking once or twice and he actually didn't get up till 6:45 this morning, which is some sort of record compared to 5, 5:30 usually. I put alfoil on his windows yesterday - had to lock him out of his room cause he insisted on chewing on bits of foil....:shakehead:

Talking about #3 at the moment.. Something we have to give a little extra consideration too because our embies are about 1000 klms away from us, as well as the FS, because their satellite FS (200klms away from here) has retired. So we would have to look at possibly moving them to the other clinic closer to us...not sure I want to do that though??
Another child would mean another room, we currently don't have. With DD turning 10 next month, I think she needs her own space, and DS's room isn't big enough for another person. It's a battle of heart versus practical brain at the moment.
Far out at your wake up time of 5-5.30am! Good to hear that the alfoil seems to have done the trick with getting a a little more sleep :)

Wow - some tricky logistics! Is the other clinic not so good, or you're just unsure about the move?

I thought about changing clinics, but it seemed a bit daunting to up sticks like that so decided to try a different FS instead. He seems ok from our first meeting, so will see how we go.

Heart vs brain - which will win...? :D In these matters I find it's generally the heart. You know if you have another baby, somehow or other everything will work out.;)

I spoke too soon about A's sleep. He's back to needing company most of the night. sigh. Maybe it's the next lot of teeth.

Hello all,
I have been popping in and out but not posting much cause I dont know really what to post...so here goes. I've been struggling a bit with DS and the whole being a mum thing - DS has not been sleeping much during day (just crys when I put him in the cot and then gets over tired), and has sever ezcema which I've been trying to get under control. I've scored higher than the 'professionals' like on the PND tests and so now I'm trying to work out if I have PND or am just suffering from lack of sleep (although DS has started sleeping well at night) plus trying to deal with a few other things like a close relative dying of cancer (mum just rang me to say that the relative had gone into a coma but the last thing she had said was that our DS was the most beautiful baby) and my mum! I am just finding the transition from work to motherhood hard - esp not having any control over my day and not being able to 'achieve' much! Anyway, I feel bad for feeling like this when we have been so lucky to have our little baby when there are so many people who are still waiting. DH does not think that I have PND - thinks that I've been sad/upset etc the whole time of doing IVF!

Anyway, that's my rant. I'm sorry I've not caught up with personals, but I hope that I can spend a bit more time here if DS starts sleeping!
FG

Farmgirl, don't feel bad about how you feel and the fact that you are honest enough to express it. I think we all struggled with the transition to motherhood at first (and to be honest, there are still some days where I find it really hard). I can't type up a long response at the moment as I'm trying to get Sam to sleep (still needs to be wrapped and cuddled, but we do it cos it works), but I couldn't leave your post without replying, however briefly. I can really relate to how you're going... reminds me so much of how we were in the early days. :hug:

BW

Thank BW - it is good to know that this is 'normal' what ever that is! Hope that you got Sam to sleep :D

Oh FG - big hugs :hug: I wish I could say something to make it all better.
You might have PND - it's awesome that you are at least admitting to things not quite being right.
I have to agree with you that those first months can be so so hard. I am an organised, busy person, who loved her job and loved getting results and acheiving goals. I hated myself for not getting the bed made or the dinner cooked or the washing hung out. I had a baby who slept for 10 mins at a time - how could i ever get anything done!!! I cried a lot, I felt like a huge failure.
All the other mum's in my mum's group had their mum's over to help, or their husbands doing night feeds or something. I just quietly drowned in the corner and pretended everything was fine.
But things improved for me and I did get better at admitting that 'things' weren't so important to do. Feeding DS, feeding myself, and going for a walk each day (with a screaming baby usually!) ... those were my goals, and if I ticked them off, then it was a good day.
I remember marcellus jokingly said one day that going out to the letterbox was a successful trip out of the house. Some days are like that. And no-one really prepares you for it. And well-meaning people tell you not to worry about the dishes, or the vacuuming or the fact that you haven't done your hair - but it doesn't make you feel any better.

Don't feel bad - we put higher expectations on ourselves because we fought so hard to have these wonderful bubs. But you shouldn't. In fact we should probably expect for things to be even harder emotionally after all the heartache of IVF.

For what it's worth DS sleeps for 9.5/10 hours every night now! I think that's my pay off for all the sleepness in the first 12 months!

I can only offer you big hugs and I hope you can find some time to really see what a success you are every day - just by feeding your little DS and rocking him off to sleep in your arms. Truly, nothing else matters.

:hug: :hug:

He's sleeping now - just. Trying to muster the motivation to move him to the cot and get myself some lunch.

With regards to the PND index test thingy - I scored quite highly as well, but my doctor decided I didn't have PND, but I was just under a LOT of stress with various different life events. I suspect that I did actually have a mild case of it, but as I was already medicated for an anxiety disorder, all they would have down would have been increase the dose of the medication I was already taking. I do feel a lot better now, life has calmed down and I found it helped a lot to keep talking to people and keep focussed on the fact that everything I was feeling and experiencing was normal and that women before me had felt it, and women after me would feel it too. I think it does become especially hard after a long wait - without even realising it, parenthood can become something magical and the reality doesn't often live up to the dreams. Whose dreams included a screaming, puking baby that never sleeps? Simply having been through IVF does increase the chances that you will develop PND, but at this point I'd just keep an eye on things and not panic too much about it yet.

BW

:hug: Farmgirl. It is really tough to admit to ourselves (never mind others) that we don't feel that we're coping too well. Having other things going on as well can only make things that much worse.

It's a huge life change so give yourself time.

Some days I also counted hanging out washing as getting out...

As for achieving things, I felt the same in the early weeks, but I found over time as I saw DS grow and develop that everything I did with him - feed him, change him, whatever - was achieving something. Once I emerged from those first few months and found my feet a little I gained some perspective that really helped.

Gotta go, must attempt nap time now:pray:

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Wow - some tricky logistics! Is the other clinic not so good, or you're just unsure about the move?

I thought about changing clinics, but it seemed a bit daunting to up sticks like that so decided to try a different FS instead. He seems ok from our first meeting, so will see how we go.

Heart vs brain - which will win...? :D In these matters I find it's generally the heart. You know if you have another baby, somehow or other everything will work out.;)

I spoke too soon about A's sleep. He's back to needing company most of the night. sigh. Maybe it's the next lot of teeth.

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I think the clinic is ok...I've just heard a few people having some problems with them, which put both DH and I off them a bit... I know you hear good and bad about clinics, so maybe, I just need to keep remembering that...good and bad..
As for the heart vs brain??? Somedays it's heart that i think will win, other days i think brain. We have been talking about saving from next year for a nice overseas holiday in about 4-5 years time. If we have another bub, then that puts that dream of for a few more years, by which time DD will be out of home, and I'd love to take her overseas before then, especially considering she will be old enough to appreciate and remember it all. DS will be old enough to not need nappies, we'll be past the toilet training etc... and hopefully in about 5 years he will also make a wonderful travelling companion. I keep thinking that we could maybe go back for #3 after an o/s trip? I'm 31 now, so would be trying again around 35-36yrs old, but with embryo's from when i was 29 :) It's the stamina I'm worried about. DS has me completley run down now, I can't imagine feeling like this in another 6+ years lol.
How's the sleep going now at your place?

Farmgirl - :hug: sending some hugs your way. I think we've all been standing where you are now...and some days still feel like we are. I like the others felt the same, and this was my 2nd child, you would've thought I knew what i had to do to get this little person to sleep! There were plenty of days where my DH would come home and I would sit on the verandah crying that i just didn't know what to do with DS, that he was driving me mad, i didnt know what to do with him anymore and finally that i thought i was depressed... you'd have these irrational thoughts...like why did i go through all this to have a baby who did nothing but scream unless he was in my arms, and i was standing with him. He hated me sitting!
DH would remind me that I was suffering from a huge lack of sleep, which made me think irrationally, and made me less capable of dealing with things that normally wouldn't bother me.

I think what BW has said is perfect. This parenting thing is a tough gig, and even me having a child already, it still couldn't prepare me for the new little person who did nothing but scream for most of the day.

FG - i didn't post yesterday cos i didn't know how to. your post really struck a chord with me - as much as i don't think i'm struggling as bad now as i was a month or two ago, i've really had to fight hard to overcome similar feelings. i don't think i have PND but i know i have depression and it has flared somewhat since DD's arrival. even more so the past few weeks with DH losing his job - but him losing his job means he is here to support me while i struggle, so it's something of a double edged sword.

i hope you can find a way to get some help - whether it's counselling, AD's - or asking for help when you need it. i have found that, now that DD is more interactive, as much as i get the lows, talking to her and having her babble back, her smile - they make it a little easier to cope with the crappy days

hugs hun

Hi Everyone

FG: At least you are willing to admit that you are struggling with motherhood. I think it is a big reality shock for a lot of us LTTTC's. I know that I have found the whole not being in control thing hard to manage as we have always known what's next in our TTC journeys and now that our miracle bubs are here there is no knowing what happens next. Have you considered seeing a counsellor at all, even if it isn't PND sometimes it is just nice to talk to someone and get everything off your chest. You might find that will help.

Well, we have been having a few unsettled days with feeding, my milk has all but gone now so Tara is formula fed 100% and it is playing havoc with her tummy. For the past couple of days we have had the most horrible vomits with it even coming out of her nose the force is so strong. So yesterday I had her on smaller and more frequent feeds to try and help her tummy adjust and also to keep the feed down. The only problem is that she was feeding every 1 1/2-2 hours and not getting much sleep in between and last night she was very unsettled after her feeds so only managed about 4 hours sleep in total. I'm hoping that today will be better and I'm going to try and get her from 3 hourly feeds to 4 hourly feeds if possible. 3 hourly feeds at night with a baby that takes 1 hour to feed isn't giving me much opportunity to get good sleep in between. Anyway, better go and get my washing out of the machine before Tara wakes up for her next feed.

I hope everyone else is going well.

Hope your poor DD's tummy settles down soon Kelly. Maybe if you can manage frequent feeds during the day, you can push the night feeds further apart.

The 3-4 week mark is often tough, even if you're not having issues with feeding. They just tend to get very unsettled at that age and it can last several weeks. Take care of yourself :hug:

Nic - DS was the same about having to stand. Thank goodness he's finally grown out of that one - does the back in.
Holidays or baby.... good luck making that decision. Maybe take the holiday and then see how you feel about another baby? By then I'm sure your DS will be sleeping really well and you'll be ready for another 3-4 years of sleep deprivation;)

Hello everyone...thanks so much for all the support - great group of girls :grouphug: I'm going to make another appointment to talk to the early motherhood people and get some more help.

I am thinking that something has gone a bit wrong with society where the whole pg, birth and motherhood gig is so hard - we have really stuffed up as western socity I think, somewhere along the line...tribal living and raising of a family has a lot going for it! Anyway that is my wisdom for the day...

BG :hug: - I'm sorry that your DH being around is under such stressful circumstances. Thanks for sharing your story - DH says that I've been a bit like this the whole time we have been doing IVF, so I wonder if I have PND, or if like you I'm suffering depression, or maybe no to either but just struggling. Not sure.

Kelly - good luck with the transition onto the bottle - hope that Tara's belly starts to settle down soon and the feeds start to space out! I think that at this stage it is just survival - I know I was always waiting for the magical '6 wk' mark - but not sure I noticed much of a change in Archer - I think any change was gradual - so I'm not much help to you! Can your DH do one or two of the night feeds for you eg the first or last two so you can get a block of sleep? I know it is hard if DH is working, but we sort out before going to bed who will do which feed depending on how each of us feel and what is on for the next day. Are you making up the bottles before you got to bed and then just heating them up when you need them? - I know it only saves a few minutes, but those minutes all help!

BW - as usual wonderful words of wisdom - thanks

Lenny - I totally agree with you, no matter what people say, if your house being clean and your hair being done is important to you - not doing it just adds to the stress and the feelings of frustration! I guess it depends on what is important to you and what you are comfortable with...

Nic - with you on the standing thing - osteo is making a fortune from me at the moment from all the lifting, putting back down, and bending backwards to counterbalance baby! Good luck working though the whole baby/holiday prob - there are so many ifs/buts and maybes that it is hard to plan that far out!

Hello to anyone I've missed - sorry!

Got to go and figure out why DS is crying rather than sleeping - I think he likes to substitute the two during the day:doh:

FG

FG: I'm so happy that you are going to have a chat to someone, I think it is a good idea to sometimes let everything out to someone who is not so close to the situation (ie: DH) so they can be more objective.

Re the feeding, yep I make up all her bottles before hand. I always make sure that I have almost a day's worth in the fridge every morning as Tara is not very patient waiting for her food. Generally DH will do the last night feed for me and then I do the middle of the night and depending on what time she wakes in the morning determines who will feed her, if it is about 7am DH feeds her any earlier or later then I do the feed so DH can get sleep or get ready for work. Although this week he has been no help to me as he has pulled some muscles in his back and shoulder and is in a lot of pain (although not as much as the couple of days after my c/s, but you can't tell him that) so he can't even pick Tara up at the moment. All he is able to do for me is to watch her in the morning while I have a shower and that's it. Hopefully it will start to get better soon as we have to do a big grocery shop on the weekend and he will need to do all the lifting etc. Anyway at least I know that Tara being on the bottle is working, she was weighed yesterday and has put on 300g in 9 days, so she now weighs 3.5kg :dance:.

You're absolutely right FG, there is something seriously amiss here! I won't bore you all with my theories, but I think that as a society we just don't value parenting.

Good for you getting some help - I really hope that as things settle down and you get your confidence up as a mother that things will fall into place (bit by bit).

Great weight gain Kelly!

:clap:on Tara's weight gain - that is great and I'm so glad that ff is working for you. Good luck with getting DH repaired!

Hi girls

Like KellyD, I know some of you from the LTTTC preg forum, but now graduated to here! I hope to get to know you all well.

Adam was born on the 20/10/2009 via emergency c, following 3 days of failed induction. He was a big baby, 4.47kg, and was posterior and not engaged at 40 +5 days. Anyway, my beautiful boy is here now.

Everything is going well apart form the breast feeding. I thought I was soooo prepared for it, had done so much reading and spoken to many people etc etc and was very determined to do it for all the right reasons. However, the reality for me is that it is the most excruciating experience (nipples are black and nearly falling off). I have had heaps of education and advice, and he is latching on correctly, but we are not bonding through the experience. Every time I get the confidence to go back and try, 24 hours later I am needing to take pain relief just to get me through the day. So today's feeling is that I just can't do it, it is way too traumatic for me, along with the guilt associated with not being 'able' to do it. Luckily at the moment I have plenty of milk, so I am expressing madly and topping up with formula as needed.

I have placated myself with DH's support, and know it is about survival at the end of the day. But I really wish the professionals would give you both sides of the story. In my other life, I am a breast cancer nurse counsellor, and I know from my patients point of view that they cope better when they get the good and the bad expectations so that reality is not so scary or unknown. I think the same applies here, I would have been more prepared had I known that women can have issues with the BF'ing. All I got told in hospital (even though they were fantastic) was that he wasn't latching properly....but he was. It's my nipples that's the problem.

Anyway, that's my only gripe so far!

Lovely to meet you all, and I will respond with personal's as I grasp the thread!

Hi Neptune!
Oh your nipples - you poor thing! I don't know whether you want bf advice today, but sometimes it does start like that, and yeah, they don't tell you, hey? Only that it shouldn't hurt - but it bloody well does for some people! DS took 11 weeks to get the hang of latching on properly so I wasn't in pain - despite being assured by 3 different LCs that he was attaching beautifully and my technique was perfect.:doh: Nipple shields got me through.
Anyway, expressing what you can in the meantime is a good compromise. You just do what feels right for you and your lovely little boy.

Must go, DS is playing monkeys with his auntie. so cute.

Hi Everyone!

Just found this thread and am hoping to join in and say hi. Thought I'd put a quick post and get the thread. Look forward to chatting with you all.

Hi Lily Dust!

Congrats Neptune and Lily Dust - :clap: on the birth of your babies!

Neptune - do what you have to for you and the baby. I've sent you a PM, but your story sounds very familiar - except I did not have much milk! Dont feel guilty about what you are doing, and what you want to do in the future - I belive that the most important thing is a happy mum. I've tried everything over the past few months, and it was not until I made the decision to stop trying to fully BF and just go with what I could do, that I actually felt happy with my decision and started to look forward to feed time - bottle or boob! Now I only BF when I'm not in pain, I no longer express (took too much time and I was exhausted), and I ignor all the people that tell me that I should be doing something else as I now no longer want to throw my baby across the room when he latches on - and that can only be a good thing for the both of us!

AFM - not much - drove DS up to Canberra on Monday for a funeral, and back yesterday. Poor little one was sick of his car seat by the end of the two days - not sure how it will go when I want to go into town this morning! He was really good though. Cant belive how hard it is to go on a road trip with just me and the baby - talk about a struggle! Oh well, we survived!

Hope eveyone is surviving the heat!
FG

Hi all,

It has been ages since i have been in here, as you all know, the days just fly by with a little one!

Welcome to the thread Kelly, Neptune and Lily Dust. Congratulations on the arrivals of your precious bundles.

Neptune - you are doing a fantastic job! I agree with FG - just do what is right for you and your baby. My older sister gave me that advice before I had Jasmine and it has served me well. I was lucky that my MW's were supportive of whatever I wanted to do. Jasmine has been predominately BF, but it took a long time for my milk to come in, so I was having to give her formula top ups and express after every feed to get everything moving along. It was exhausting! The good thing about it is that she got used to taking a bottle as well as the breast right from an early age, so if I had really sore nipples (she chewed the corner of one of them that ended up leading to mastitis) I would just express and feed from the bottle and/or give her some formula. She is now such a flexible baby with her feeding both with milk and with solids. Look after yourself and do not run yourself into the ground. If your nipples are sore then don't push yourself. You know what is best for you and your baby and whatever decision you make re feeding now and into the future will be the right one.

Kelly - I hope Tara is adjusting to the bottle ok. It is fantastic that you are seeing some weight gain.

I am still trying to catch up on the thread, so please forgive the lack of other personals. Hello to all of you yummy mummys xxx

AFM and Jasmine - we are doing really well. Jasmine is 7 months now and I just do not know where the time has gone. I look back at photos of when she was a newborn and just can't believe how much she has changed. She is such a little person now. She can sit on her own, she is rocking on her hands and knees trying to figure out how to crawl, she is moving in whatever way she can around the room (normally backwards), she is trying to pull herself up on things to stand, she talks (baby language) non-stop and is just the light of my life. I look at her every day in awe. I am so in love with her that I don't know how to put it into words. Sleep is still an issue for us (sorry to those with newborns - not trying to scare you!) Jasmine gets quite bad separation anxiety from me during the night, so will sleep fine when she is in bed with me, but does not want to sleep in her cot (even though it is right beside me). I am trying to get her used to her own cot and I know that it will happen eventually, but I just cannot use controlled crying. I know that every baby is different, and really this is the only issue that we have, and from my point of view it is not that big a deal. I was never somebody that needed a lot of sleep and fall back asleep quickly if my sleep is broken.

Hope you are all well.

Janie and Jasmine xxx