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Thread: Parenting after LTTTC #2

  1. #253

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    Acacia, I've been a bit absent, too... Reading but not replying because I just didn't feel like I had anything helpful to say. So many people in the newborn stage and that just seems so far away now...

    Well, sitting here today with Sam snuggled on my lap (meant to be falling asleep, but I think he's just enjoying the snuggle) and find myself wondering just how much longer I'll get to this. Today is my baby boy's first birthday... it's gone so fast! I keep thinking that even if I combine my time being pregnant and the first year of his life, it still adds up to less time than the time we spent trying to conceive him. Is it any wonder it still doesn't feel real yet?

    BW


  2. #254

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    welcome back Acacia - and happy belated birthday to your princess!!

    Happy birthday to Sam too BW!

    not a lot of time to post - just jumping on while i get some breakfast and a cuppa into me then off to Melb for Melbel's baby shower.

  3. #255

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    happy birthday sam!!!

  4. #256

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    Happy birthday Sam!!!! AND happy mummy anniversary to you BW! I understand what you mean about the time: we were TTC 10years, pregnancy and her whole life so far is less than 1/3 of that time~!

    also Happy birthday to your little girl Acacia! I've been very slack in recent times too. There are so many girls here in the newborn stage, or pregnant and that is a lifetime ago to me (Plus there are some "issues" for me) so I sometimes read but not often post. I do really miss the closeness I felt in this thread when it first started and we were all at the same stage. I hope all you new ladies are feeling that support now with so many of you!

    LilyDust, I know EXACTLY what you mean about having your DD close. I was just the same. For us we had so many visitors in the first few weeks that I felt I only got to hold her because I was BF!!! She would have been almost 3months before I even left her with DH for 15mins to go to the shops. We had to use a babysitter around 6months for a few hours one evening and it was torture. I really didnt enjoy it. A friend kept insisting she babysit so we could have an evening to ourselves, except we really didnt want to: we wanted her to come with us! eventually she gave up asking.

    To answer your question, I think you will eventually feel comfortable leaving her with certain people. It will come when she is bigger and physically needs less support, and you are more at ease with others understanding her needs more too. She will be able to let people know what she wants easier and not rely on your mothers intuition so much. I wasnt ready to put DD into any kind of daycare till she was 18months old and then only 2hours a fortnight at a family daycare lady we already knew socially. (she had only stayed with family for a few hours a couple of times till then but regularly with DH) I'm now back at work 2 to 3 shifts a week but even then, if she is home with DH I will usually phone to check how she is. I know some of my friends would think me clingy and neurotic but I dont care. It makes me feel better and it's certainly not hurting her. (Plus I dont tell them) Don't worry: your feelings are completely normal!

    BTW, my mother always took my nephews and now my niece out of the room or outside and it drove my SIL mad. I think she just wanted to have time without SIL hovering over her like she does. For some reason she didnt do it with my DD and I was hovering just as much.

  5. #257

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    Hi Everyone

    I felt a bit sad reading some of the posts and feel that some of us newbies might be pushing out the mummies who have been here a bit longer. I hope that you will all continue to post as I love reading your updates on where all your babies are at, plus I have really found this thread helpful by being able to ask our more experienced mum's questions about things that are happening with Tara. Your information has been invaluable.

  6. #258

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    Oh, wait! Sam is one already?!
    Happy birthday!



    And to your little girl too Acacia - where did that time go?

  7. #259

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    Wow - I can't believe that Sam is already 1! A big happy birthday to Sam and Acacia's little princess - the time has just flown. It's lovely to see you back in the thread ladies.

    Janie and Jasmine xxx

  8. #260

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    Thanks everyone for replying about my question, it is nice to have others who have been in the sam eboat and understand how I am feeling about DD. As you have all said in one way or another....shes my daughter, I birthed her and DH and I call the shots, dont like it then thats tough! I feel more confident with that, now that I'm not some freakishly over clingy mummy

    KellyD- thats not such geat news about the immunisation. I hope Tara is starting to feel better the poor little mite.

    briggsy's girl- well done on being so brave and getting to the concert!

    marcellus- hope the camping was a fun time by all. It must be lovely to watch DS have so much fun feeding the animals.

    Acacia- BIG BIG well dne on BF for 1 year , thats just fantastic! Im sure that 1st year has just dissolve before yor eyes, DD is 3 months and I was certain I only birthed her a few weeks ago!

    butterfly_warrior- Happy 1st Birthday Sam! Please dont feel like we newbies are taking over this planet on you. Its the experience and advice of you wonderful mummys that we are seeking out most of the time. Having others who have struggled to get the extra precious bundles and explain that how we feel is normal is beyond any advice many of us can get from our families. It really is invaluable.

    sazzafrazz- I hope the issues you are writing about arent too overwhelming and everything is ok.

    Hi Nic & Lenny and everyone else that hasnt been on for a while.

    Thanks heaps for being so caring and sharing your experiences with me.

  9. #261

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    Hi girls,

    Just popping in to say HI! Am waiting for my little man to wake up for his next feed. He's been asleep for nearly 4 hrs, wish I had of know that earlier as I would have gone for a nap He always does that to me, lol

    My DP's mum took care of him yesterday arvo for the first time while I went and got some pampering done, had a leg wax and spa pedicure He was very unsettled after that. He didnt sleep long for her and then wouldnt go down for us later that night. She has been hounding me to take care of him but look what happens! Dont get me wrong, Im grateful but at the same time, he's used to me and DP and our routine.

    She keeps saying she'll take care of him New Year's Eve and we can pick him up the next day and Im like, ahhh no, but thanks! Im like you Lily Dust, dont want to be away from him. I had to go to hell and back to conceive him and he is EVERYTHING to me and DP. Im not about to palm him off to everyone to look after him. I want to spend every precious moment I can now with him before I have to go back to work the middle of next year.

    Sorry girls, have to run as Trent has just woken up and he's HUNGRY!!!

    Take care and will be back later,

    Tania

  10. #262

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    Hello,
    just a quick pop in to add to the support for your situation LilyDust. I was reading your post and thinking out loud and must have sighed and got DH's attention. I explained that you were in a position that I feel like I'm soon going to be faced with and I'm really dreading it. His mum has invited herself (surprise!) for two weeks...i won't even go there, I'll keep moving through, anyway. I feel that she will very much disagree with my parenting, after all she left DH at 4 years old at home ALONE while she went to Fiji!!!!!!!! (don't get me started....not enough exclamation marks to explain my feelings and I won't dwell cos we're all changed people apparently). I explained to DH about people hassling us to "just go out and leave her"and he just said that it won't be aproblem cos he's not at all okay with leaving DD and that's not what we do so we never will if we don't want to. It's reassuring to be on the same page.

    Another awkward moment yesterday when said MIL writes in her christmas card to us, love Nanna and Grandpa. It made me feel sick..this man is her husband and only recently acquired and what i know of him I don't trust and he is not even a father to any children, let alone a grand father. I 'm sooooo not cool with that. I rallied my sis and mum's advice and both think the same as me so couldn't help me to be a nicer person and give in to him wanting to be grandpa. But no way, I will always just correct them if they call him grandpa. Bloody hell, families can be such baggage that you just wnat to pack up and move to the other side of the country from...oh wait dH did that leaving her in Adelaide the second he turned 17 and joined the Army!

    Oops, that was quite a rant....oh but there is so much more and I do love to be a biatch sometimes, just that it doesn't do much for happy families

  11. #263

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    Well, all my good intentions of catching up with everyone's news, didn't work so well, lol...thought I would quickly drop back in and say a quick hi again, before we take off in the morning to my parents for christmas..Just wanted to wish everyone a great christmas. BW - HAPPY belated 1ST BIRTHDAY to Sam! I can't believe he is already celebrating his first year here with you.
    Acacia - Happy birthday to your DD too.
    BG - Thanks for that email greatly appreciated...
    Hi to everyone, so sorry for my lack of personals.. Must go, I have to try to do some house tidying to make tomorrow's packing a little less stressful

  12. #264

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    Hi Girls

    Murph: I can sympathise with you about the Grandpa thing, you may remember my issue with DH's mother wanting to be called Mum Mum and not Grandma or Nan. When they were here after Tara's birth she stated she was going to be called Mum Mum and of course I hit the roof with that one and told her NO, I am the only Mum.... She then told me how she hates Grandma, Nan, Nanna etc, well get over it... That is what you are, so currently she does not get called anything (lucky for us she lives 10 hours away) and unless she can choose something suitable Tara will grow up calling her by her name.

    Anyway, I wanted to wish everyone one of you all a very Happy Christmas. This one will be so special for a lot of you (including us) as it is our first Christmas with our special babies.

  13. #265

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    Kelly, Mum Mum is a bit wrong for a grandmother!! What was she thinking? I don't blame you for hitting the roof over that one. Is your DD her first grandchild? My Mum still hasn't decided what she wants to be called, but she better decide soon because DS is now saying mummum, mama, dada etc. Her DP has asked to be called Pop. They've been together 15 years, but it still feels a bit strange. My Dad died 11 years ago, so it feels like he's trying to take his place or something. He's not, but it still feels weird.

    MissMagpie, It's great that your MIL wants to help, but your DS is so young to stay overnight. I can imagine how it would upset your routine too. At that age, I think you just want to do everything you can not to disrupt your routine so that you're all getting plenty of rest. Not only that, but I can't imagine enjoying myself out on New Years or being able to sleep all night without DS in the house. We have left DS once in 8.5 months with good friends and that was hard. We are thinking we might go and see a movie over the holidays and have a bit of a lunch/movie date. Maybe. Still undecided. When DH takes DS to the shop I miss him after 10 minutes (as much as I love the peace and quiet).
    Hope you enjoyed your pampering, sounds like bliss!

    AFU, Noah is so much fun at the moment. He has a funny little personality and is so happy. This week I have been getting 3 one hour day sleeps out of him which has been great. Much better than his catnaps. He still wakes anywhere from 1-3 times per night but I don't mind. He rolls everywhere, and he does it quickly. It's amazing how fast he can get from one side of the room to the other just from rolling. He's almost up on his knees, but I think he's a way off crawling yet. He's been sitting up really well on his own for a while now and he loves it. He says mama, mummum whenever he's tired or wants a feed which is lovely. Never thought I would hear that.

    I hope everyone has a lovely Christmas. Enjoy yourself, and stay safe if you're travelling.

  14. #266

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    Hi girls,

    Just popping in to say hope you all have a WONDERFUL Christmas tomorrow especially those of us with new babies I have Trent's outfit all ready for tomorrow which says "Babies first Christmas"

    We had a great night last night with Trent sleeping 9 hours..WOO HOO! We have been using thickened formula the last few days to help with his vomitting so that may be making him more satisfied. Was very thankful for the good sleep!

    He is such a beautiful boy and he is the best Christmas present we could ever ask for.

    Enjoy your day tomorrow girls and hope Santa is good to you

    Take care,

    Tania xx

  15. #267

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    Merry Christmas everyone!
    Hope you all have a lovely day.

    DS calls his grandparents GiGi and DoDo. GiGi is from the sign we used for granma - G G. Don't know where dodo comes from. So my parents are now gigi and dodo fish. and DH's are gigi dodo bok (chicken). And his greatgrandma is also gigi, though I suppose she should be gigigi.

    Take care and stay safe

  16. #268

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    Merry Christmas lovely ladies (and your very special little - and not so little - bubbas!)

    hope you all have a fantastic day!

  17. #269

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    So happy to read the Christmad wishes from many, just lovely that so many people get to have such a beautiful Christmas with their miracles.

    MissMagpie, I hope you enjoyed the pampering. 9 hours- woohoo for you and DH, hope you weren't out of bed to much checking to make sure he was okay lol. thats what happen the first time DD slept past her usual amount, I was awake anyway!

    Murph01- my god, its like reading my thoughts in your posts! DH's mother has officially named her partner Poppy too. There is a lot of bad blood with the MIL up and leaving FIL and not contacting her children for 12 months, after having an affair with this man so I am not impressed at all! My step father is Pop or Poppo, but we are both ok with that as he is the only 'father' I have ever known.

    KellyD- You are so right, Tara has one mummy and that is you. Mum mum I personally dont think is a name for a grandmother. DD has a Nanny, Grandma and a Bippy (just something a little different there). Bippys not blood related but they are very dear friends and that is what her grandchildren also call her.

    Megan- Isnt it funny how you miss them even though you are so exhausted, you think you want a break and then you miss them like crazy! It seems odd even being away from them.

    I ducked out for 30 mins after the last post and left DD with her Daddy, I left in tears and made him promise to ring if she so much as grunted differently....he rang and my heart missed a beat....'Hi hon, we are fine BUT I blew the computer up'. Yep, he sure did, 107 viruses and couldnt even re- boot the stupid thing! and I was worried about DD if I left not DH!!!

    Marcellus- I love the names DS uses for his grandparents!

    Hi everyone!!!!

  18. #270

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    Hello everyone,
    hope you all had a great christmas. Mine was a laid back little family of three and it was just lovely - our first and probably last at home here in the Daintree. DH is only weeks away from finishing his PhD (that has kept us based up here) and now the reality of returning to life in the real world is upon us. Blah.

    KellyD, so glad you stuck to your guns over that Mum Mum issue. Yes, I remember that well and I still say that's a bit close to Mum of course and especially when they are learning an will say Mum Mum, Dad Dad anyway. Her other grandkids called her that because they couldn't pronounce it and it was one of those cute things they were happy to go with, but you're not and plenty of others wouldn't be so she'll have to get over it.

    My dad's wife (barely older than my brother) entered the picture in the worst possible affair situation which almost killed my mum. It's now been 17 years and of course we are as good as can be expected but she has had to accept that she has no right to a name like Nana or anything because she's not. My brother's first baby was born the year after she hit the scene (which is what saved my mum) and she has been known by her name ever since then, so it's Pop and ...her name and that works for us. My sister nearly had a heart attack a few weeks back when dad's wife turned up at my niece's daycare as an adopt-a-cop and introduced herself as Jess's grandmother. Woah, she had to swallow down hard on that one, but i guess it's easier to explain that way to kids and teachers without going into details. My sis did not take kindly. Like she said, maybe if things had have been different and not underhanded and smashed up our whole family, she might have been entitled, but that's not how they did things so she doesn't have the right.

    As for DH's mother's husband, we have no biological or emotional attachment and I really have my hackles up if they think he "takes" a title just by marrying into it. I know it seems pedantic and there are some of you that may be in relationships as step-parent or similar and I'm not saying that's how it is for everyone. some relationships work beautifully, like my mum's and I would happily have given him the right to be a grandpa because I had that respect and trust and really I think that's what it comes down to. fortunately, my mum's dearly departed partner had kids of his own and refused any thought that he was grandpa or anything right from the word go. Unfortunatley though, he died this year and never saw his kids have their own kids. Some people make it easy and others just have no idea.

    so what is with my cheeky baby not sleeping now? Is it possible that it is a side effect of her immunisation shots which she got on Christmas eve? She seems to be all out of whack and though not crazy grizzly, just unsettled and sleep is a non-event until she is burnt out from yelling at her cot mobiles (not crying, just talking to them and bossing them around). she woke at 4am and has not slept again since. DH was up doing job applications so he took her out while I slept for a few more hours and she still refuses to sleep, despite wrapping and nursing and feeding. Could it also be she is buzzing from chocolate I ate? It all seems a bit odd and disturbing.

    Here is a link to my little Daintree Chrissy, hope yours was good
    Angela Bengsen's Photos - Jasmine's first Christmas 2009 | Facebook

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