hi neptune. Oh you poor love. hoarding is a psychological thing and i'm sure it's been suggested, but it sounds like he needs professional help.
I know exactly what you are talking about cos my aunty is exactly the same. her haording has escaped the house and gone onto the veranda, yard, shed etc. but she lives alone with 3 cats and several stray dogs she took in (yes, those crazy cat aunties really exist lol). so she's only impacting herself (and she says she hates it but can't control it).
so i completely understand where you are coming from. it's a complusion and there's underlying issues. i'm sorry to say this, but i doubt he'll change just on his own but I know just ''throwing it all out'' by yourself is not an option - that will really really hurt him and could lead to other issues.
there's no easy solution is there love. but vent away. i really feel for you and i hope he does at the very least give up one room for bubbee and you.
off to pilates now so will be back later for persies but just wanted to send neptune a hug. and thank her for being so brave and sharing.
i wish i had something helpful to tell you other than : i understand. oxoxo
Neptune: How hard it must be for you. I am such an organised person that if my DH had a similar problem I don't know how I would cope. I hope that you can get something sorted out soon so you can at least get the nursery set up. If I think my DH is leaving dangerous stuff around the house already I keep reminding him nicely that once baby is on the move the house needs to be safe so he better start putting things away safely now so he doesn't need me nagging him later.
Been quiet in here the past couple of days, so hopefully everyone is cooking along nicely.
Well, I never thought I would be one of those women but I am officially over being pregnant (bizarre when we try so hard to get there). I don't mind having my little bundle inside me it is all the other things that are really getting me down now... ie:
1. My belly in now so big that I can't reach the sink or stove in the kitchen to cook or clean.
2. I am exhausted all the time, it takes me around 2 hours every morning to get showered and dressed as the smallest thing wears me out.
3. I am so boring at the moment as all I want to do everyday is sleep. I think I'm awake for about 8 hours max per day.
4. No motivation. I really have to plan my days to get things done or else I would turn into a big sloth.
Anyway that's my rant, I really don't know how you girls who are working can do it you are such stars in my books. Oh well at least the sun is out today so hopefully some Vitamin D will help my mood.
Hope you are all well. Just popping in, currently have the memory span of a goldfish so won't attempt persies this time, but am thinking of each and every one of you!
Had our 7 week scan yesterday! Didn't get to see much as Cookie was hiding in the far back corner the little bugger, but we saw the heartbeat, a healthy 154bpm! What an amazing moment! I almost cried! And cause of the hiding we couldn't get any measurements. Anyway we're having another scan at the OB's in 3 weeks should get a better idea then. They also said they think there's only one but can't really say for sure (again cause of the hiding)
What I don't understand is FS said bubs looks more like 6 or 6.5 weeks. Well how does that work? We know exactly what date I O-ed & when Cookie went in etc witht he IVF, and I clearly felt the implantation so how can the dates change? I figure Cookie is just on the small side, I was only just 5lb when born and both my DH & I are quite small. Any thoughts?
Wishing you all lots of Hope you are all getting good rest and away nicely!
BOC how exciting seeing your little one's heart beating away. The week thing I'm not sure, I think it's when cookie decided to stick not float around? So excited for you
KellyD I'm going to comment on 1-4
1: great no housework for you.
2: 2 hours wow I hope you have good morning tv on
3: If you need sleep and can enjoy!
4: Sloths are very intelegent.
Enjoy looking after yourself
Grub hope pilates is going well. I can't wait to start yoga when I clear my diary "it will happen"
Neptune
DF did such a good job of demolition today, I baught him a drink on the way home, and now he's cooking tea. I'm a lucky lady. Glad my week is finally over. Saturdays are so exhausting, time to put my feet up.
Hello girls,
I've been away in Townsville and had a great time, but I'm not going to talk about me just yet as I wanted to attempt a bit of emotional triage to the girls in most need at the moment.
Frosty's Mum, I am heartbroken for you . I know what it felt like to get that far and I just can't imagine what you are going through. I hope it is easier to have passed the baby naturally and not have to have more medical intervention. I'm so sorry and thinking of you, as we all are.
Sammiejam, I think it will get easier but not having the answers you need to know about how and when the little embryo will pass through or be absorbed makes it hard to follow what's going on in your body and that feeling like you are not in control. It's also hard to celebrate having one and mourning another at the same time but you will find a place for both and be happy to move on in time. Good luck.
Neptune, you're right up there at the top of my list too. It doesn't take much to read between the lines and realise the things you are not saying and what you are going through with the turmoil at home. I agree with all that Grub said and have some experience with hoarders. Is he a hoarder in the psychological ocd sense or could he be a clutterer, who can actually change their ways with the right motivation without feeling threatened and lost? I'm trying to be positive but probably already know the answer, in which case, honey, you have a lot of work ahead and won't be able to live this way for too much longer, which I'm sure you know. So you love him but you are dealing with an illness and his actions are not rational so you won't solve it by moving one pile from here to there or getting a storage unit, you will just free up more space to fill again. I know a girl who is about to marry one of my family's oldest friends and she has never let him step foot inside any of the various houses she has and storage containers etc, but if he did he would need to beat a path through the plastic bags and boxes and they are buying a new place before they ever have to live together so it's not likely he'll see how she really lives and she will hold onto all she has in her stashes. I'm really feeling for you. we all have our skeletons and secrets but it is so nice that you felt you could share and let us at least try to offer some comfort,(especially while you are away from home). I've mentioned it before but I live with my DHs post traumatic stress disorder symptoms and that's all they are, symptoms. Psychological problems come on a continuum and they can be managed through finding the right balance and the commitment to work at it and be aware of it every day. It will always be part of our life, as your DHs hoarding ocd may be for you, but you can learn how to make it easier and help each other to find balance. Hoarders can be those people like Grub's auntie or my friend's fiance or they can be in loving relationships where they are supported and able to function. Your fights shouldn't be over him picking his stuff up, but about getting help for his problem. He has to be willing to accept that he needs help and then the healing can begin. I wish you all the very best and I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling after all you have been through.
Hugs to all of you who feel yourself needing a bit of support at the moment. Chins up and bellies out! xoxo
You have all made me feel better, thanks so much. I had tears reading all of your kind and heartfelt responses.
I am up and down really. Yesterday DH gave me yet another plan to get a nursery before bubs gets here. This plan is a desperate attempt to make room and is far far far from perfect. I started crying again and asked him why he gives me the perfect plan 8 months ago only to give nothing, then to hit with something that is far form ideal. This plan involves shuffling us out of our bedroom into one of the junk rooms, so we will be surrounded by computers and BBQ's! If he does what he says this time, the baby will have the best room of the house with no extra clutter, but it hasn't happened yet!
This is what always gets me; that I end up grateful for stupid plans like this, when I know I deserve so much more. He hits me with the sensible plan first, then does nothing, then gives me peanuts and I am grateful! But I can't see another way, so I have to just get on with it. I got into the room that we will have as out bedroom, and started on a few things so don't feel so 'stuck' in time. He says that we can get this temporary plan done, and then work on the other stuff once bubs is here. God, I hope so.....
I think it is an OCD problem Murph......even though his parents won't throw anything out either.....but DH is traumatised if you throw anything out and he just compulsively buys things of ebay and collects stuff of other's rubbish collections. The biggest challenge for me (especially studying psychology too) is that he does not admit he has a problem, thinks that he has a storage problem!!!!! So until he admits that he is in trouble, I can't convince him to get help.
Everything else about our relationship is great and I love him so much, and he is so keen for this baby that I hope that has some motivation for him.
Neptune,
I wanted to pop in and give you a big squishy cyber hug, Im so sad your in Sydney, or I would be around helping you over the next few weeks, I am known for my exceptional organisational skills, so I could have you sitting on the bed, while I worked around you. In face if you need any help, I can always come up and see you sweets. There is a relationship section on BB, where you could post, and you will get responses from the wider BB community, where I am sure you will find lots of support, and some stratagies to get you through the next few months xx
Hi Murph so glad you had a great time in Townsville, the weather looked beautiful and hot up there hope you had some r and r.
Neptune, you know you can speak to someone about it even if you DH isn't ready yet? I have spoken to many partners, parents, friends etc re all sorts of issues. It may not solve the issue but having someone to talk to and give you some strategies might help.
Jenc how you hanging in there? Thinking of you
Hope everyone is having a great sunday. I've got a yard full of pots, soil and plants! and a day off tomorrow I can't be any happier
hello to all my beautifuls,
just popping in to say hi and im thinking of you all every day but just not getting a chance on the computer atm im still sick and it spins me out but do have to say im feeling better each day still get the odd really bad day but apart from that hopefully easing a bit now also dh and i have been swimming every day this week and love it makes the world of difference,been doing a lot of spring cleaning,charlies room has slowly started.
well my friends take care and ill talk soon love smithy
Hope you are all getting good rest and 
away nicely!
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