Hello girls,
I've been away in Townsville and had a great time, but I'm not going to talk about me just yet as I wanted to attempt a bit of emotional triage to the girls in most need at the moment.
Frosty's Mum, I am heartbroken for you . I know what it felt like to get that far and I just can't imagine what you are going through. I hope it is easier to have passed the baby naturally and not have to have more medical intervention. I'm so sorry and thinking of you, as we all are.
Sammiejam, I think it will get easier but not having the answers you need to know about how and when the little embryo will pass through or be absorbed makes it hard to follow what's going on in your body and that feeling like you are not in control. It's also hard to celebrate having one and mourning another at the same time but you will find a place for both and be happy to move on in time. Good luck.
Neptune, you're right up there at the top of my list too. It doesn't take much to read between the lines and realise the things you are not saying and what you are going through with the turmoil at home. I agree with all that Grub said and have some experience with hoarders. Is he a hoarder in the psychological ocd sense or could he be a clutterer, who can actually change their ways with the right motivation without feeling threatened and lost? I'm trying to be positive but probably already know the answer, in which case, honey, you have a lot of work ahead and won't be able to live this way for too much longer, which I'm sure you know. So you love him but you are dealing with an illness and his actions are not rational so you won't solve it by moving one pile from here to there or getting a storage unit, you will just free up more space to fill again. I know a girl who is about to marry one of my family's oldest friends and she has never let him step foot inside any of the various houses she has and storage containers etc, but if he did he would need to beat a path through the plastic bags and boxes and they are buying a new place before they ever have to live together so it's not likely he'll see how she really lives and she will hold onto all she has in her stashes. I'm really feeling for you. we all have our skeletons and secrets but it is so nice that you felt you could share and let us at least try to offer some comfort,(especially while you are away from home). I've mentioned it before but I live with my DHs post traumatic stress disorder symptoms and that's all they are, symptoms. Psychological problems come on a continuum and they can be managed through finding the right balance and the commitment to work at it and be aware of it every day. It will always be part of our life, as your DHs hoarding ocd may be for you, but you can learn how to make it easier and help each other to find balance. Hoarders can be those people like Grub's auntie or my friend's fiance or they can be in loving relationships where they are supported and able to function. Your fights shouldn't be over him picking his stuff up, but about getting help for his problem. He has to be willing to accept that he needs help and then the healing can begin. I wish you all the very best and I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling after all you have been through.
Hugs to all of you who feel yourself needing a bit of support at the moment. Chins up and bellies out! xoxo
You have all made me feel better, thanks so much. I had tears reading all of your kind and heartfelt responses.
I am up and down really. Yesterday DH gave me yet another plan to get a nursery before bubs gets here. This plan is a desperate attempt to make room and is far far far from perfect. I started crying again and asked him why he gives me the perfect plan 8 months ago only to give nothing, then to hit with something that is far form ideal. This plan involves shuffling us out of our bedroom into one of the junk rooms, so we will be surrounded by computers and BBQ's! If he does what he says this time, the baby will have the best room of the house with no extra clutter, but it hasn't happened yet!
This is what always gets me; that I end up grateful for stupid plans like this, when I know I deserve so much more. He hits me with the sensible plan first, then does nothing, then gives me peanuts and I am grateful! But I can't see another way, so I have to just get on with it. I got into the room that we will have as out bedroom, and started on a few things so don't feel so 'stuck' in time. He says that we can get this temporary plan done, and then work on the other stuff once bubs is here. God, I hope so.....
I think it is an OCD problem Murph......even though his parents won't throw anything out either.....but DH is traumatised if you throw anything out and he just compulsively buys things of ebay and collects stuff of other's rubbish collections. The biggest challenge for me (especially studying psychology too) is that he does not admit he has a problem, thinks that he has a storage problem!!!!! So until he admits that he is in trouble, I can't convince him to get help.
Everything else about our relationship is great and I love him so much, and he is so keen for this baby that I hope that has some motivation for him.
Neptune,
I wanted to pop in and give you a big squishy cyber hug, Im so sad your in Sydney, or I would be around helping you over the next few weeks, I am known for my exceptional organisational skills, so I could have you sitting on the bed, while I worked around you. In face if you need any help, I can always come up and see you sweets. There is a relationship section on BB, where you could post, and you will get responses from the wider BB community, where I am sure you will find lots of support, and some stratagies to get you through the next few months xx
Thinking of you beautiful ladies. You're all so strong and resilient. You are doing an amazing job, please don't forget that. And for what it's worth, we're always here for you when you need a release.
Hi Murph so glad you had a great time in Townsville, the weather looked beautiful and hot up there hope you had some r and r.
Neptune, you know you can speak to someone about it even if you DH isn't ready yet? I have spoken to many partners, parents, friends etc re all sorts of issues. It may not solve the issue but having someone to talk to and give you some strategies might help.
Jenc how you hanging in there? Thinking of you
Hope everyone is having a great sunday. I've got a yard full of pots, soil and plants! and a day off tomorrow I can't be any happier
hello to all my beautifuls,
just popping in to say hi and im thinking of you all every day but just not getting a chance on the computer atm im still sick and it spins me out but do have to say im feeling better each day still get the odd really bad day but apart from that hopefully easing a bit now also dh and i have been swimming every day this week and love it makes the world of difference,been doing a lot of spring cleaning,charlies room has slowly started.
well my friends take care and ill talk soon love smithy
hi ladies just a me post today as im a little stressed.
got a call from the hospital on friday saying my bloods are very bad and to come in for more bloods which i did today and they think i may have hepatitis or my unborn bub has an infection so they have booked me in for a liver scan on wednesday and to see the consultant on thursday to discuss induction. I feel so grose as i dont do drugs, have never gotten a tattoo and I know i dont have hep b as i am immune so it could be A or C which are blood borne, I am in the health field and now am terrified ive exposed myself to infected blood. I am also annoyed as I had to ask to get extra testing done due to me still vomiting daily and my upper right abdomen pain and temps which was shrugged off as the flu. This should have been discovered earlier not 3 weeks before he is due.
Oh, MHB. What a shock. I have all my everything crossed that it's not bad news. Thinking of you lots and lots. Please let us know as soon as you know anything.
I've had a rough day too. Had an ultrasound today and found out that twin 1 has quite severely reduced amniotic fluid, and twin 2's growth has slowed down and are now discordant. So, we'll just have to see what they decide to do.
Anyhow, ladies. My delicious hospital dinner has arrived, so need to turn off computer to use the tray!
MHB, you poor thing, you have had a shocker and you will be glad to have your little man here. I do hope everything is okay, fingers crossed.
Hey to everyone else, hope you all are hanging in there and baking up fat little bubs.
AFM: DH states that he will start on the moving stuff this weekend. I will believe it when i see it, but anyway I am assuming that he will and giving him the benefit of the doubt, and I have actually taken two whole carloads of stuff to the salvos which felt fantastic. I am determined to make the best of a bad situation. I do feel better, and need to concentrate on my psychology exam on Monday anyway.
As for bubs and me, overnight I have become very uncomfortable. i think he has moved and he feels as though he is across my tummy rather than up and down. Consequently, my abdo is hard as a rock and feels sore! It is difficult to get comfy, but maybe it's a growth spurt and it will all settle down. I have started to get a bit puffy too. But the most disgusting thing which no-one ever warned me about is sweaty hands and feet along with the puffiness. It is quite yucky!!!!!! Anyway, only 2.5 weeks of work left, then it won't matter too much once I'm home!
Ah, whinge whinge whinge......it's all good, it's all progress towards the cute little baby that eventuates!
MHB - you poor thing You've had such a rough trot. I hope its not Hepatitis for yours and the babies sake. Take care.
Jen - Hope they are able to give you some more news on your little ones. Hang in there and am thinking of you.
Neptune - I hope your hubby is true to his word this w/e and your able to start setting up a nursery.
to everyone else .
AFM, DP and I went away for the weekend to the country and I had a GREAT preggie massage so am feeling nice and relaxed and my back isnt aching as much! Im going for my diabetes test this Saturday. Not looking forward to it. I then see my OB next week to get the results then Im on fortnightly visits to him. Bubs is moving around more but not heaps. I love looking at my tummy when it moves to watch jumping around, hehe Im still sleeping reasonably well Finish work in 6 weeks this Friday so cant wait!!!!!
thank you, and I know you mean it!
hello to all my beautifuls,
Finish work in 6 weeks this Friday so cant wait!!!!!
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