Hello girls,
I've been away in Townsville and had a great time, but I'm not going to talk about me just yet as I wanted to attempt a bit of emotional triage to the girls in most need at the moment.

Frosty's Mum, I am heartbroken for you . I know what it felt like to get that far and I just can't imagine what you are going through. I hope it is easier to have passed the baby naturally and not have to have more medical intervention. I'm so sorry and thinking of you, as we all are.

Sammiejam, I think it will get easier but not having the answers you need to know about how and when the little embryo will pass through or be absorbed makes it hard to follow what's going on in your body and that feeling like you are not in control. It's also hard to celebrate having one and mourning another at the same time but you will find a place for both and be happy to move on in time. Good luck.

Neptune, you're right up there at the top of my list too. It doesn't take much to read between the lines and realise the things you are not saying and what you are going through with the turmoil at home. I agree with all that Grub said and have some experience with hoarders. Is he a hoarder in the psychological ocd sense or could he be a clutterer, who can actually change their ways with the right motivation without feeling threatened and lost? I'm trying to be positive but probably already know the answer, in which case, honey, you have a lot of work ahead and won't be able to live this way for too much longer, which I'm sure you know. So you love him but you are dealing with an illness and his actions are not rational so you won't solve it by moving one pile from here to there or getting a storage unit, you will just free up more space to fill again. I know a girl who is about to marry one of my family's oldest friends and she has never let him step foot inside any of the various houses she has and storage containers etc, but if he did he would need to beat a path through the plastic bags and boxes and they are buying a new place before they ever have to live together so it's not likely he'll see how she really lives and she will hold onto all she has in her stashes. I'm really feeling for you. we all have our skeletons and secrets but it is so nice that you felt you could share and let us at least try to offer some comfort,(especially while you are away from home). I've mentioned it before but I live with my DHs post traumatic stress disorder symptoms and that's all they are, symptoms. Psychological problems come on a continuum and they can be managed through finding the right balance and the commitment to work at it and be aware of it every day. It will always be part of our life, as your DHs hoarding ocd may be for you, but you can learn how to make it easier and help each other to find balance. Hoarders can be those people like Grub's auntie or my friend's fiance or they can be in loving relationships where they are supported and able to function. Your fights shouldn't be over him picking his stuff up, but about getting help for his problem. He has to be willing to accept that he needs help and then the healing can begin. I wish you all the very best and I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling after all you have been through.

Hugs to all of you who feel yourself needing a bit of support at the moment. Chins up and bellies out! xoxo