thanks for you support and thoughts grub and smithy. DH smsd me earlier said he was p**** off and frustrated that nothing is ever simple in this whole 'thing' with us. I said I didn't feel like that, just sad. With it being IVF there's no mistaking the dates... so it's either slow developing...or no longer with us. Last time the levels rose too slowly and we never got to the scan stage....I'm so worried that it's gonna leave us too.
Anyway, sorry to bring people down, not my intention. I'll let you know when we get anymore news - another waiting game.
oh hun this road were all on is so bloody hard sometimes and far from easy ,the stress is over welming and sometimes i think it must be so hard for our dh to watch us go through the hurt as theres nothing they can do in the past i have felt so sorry for my dh watching me only get 2 eggs or ****ty embies his wached me cry for hours, i dont know i think they get angry and upset for us more than anything im feeling it for you both rite now thats for sure as i no just what your both going through and i will be that everything works out hun and do not feel bad about coming in here and talking you wont bring us down hun were here for you any time ok .luv smithy big hugs for you sweety and take it easy,stay calm and stick together youll get ther my friend im sure xoxo
I am not enjoying being back at work ... at all, and my boss has just left. So I've been doing lots of surfing and research... (happy days). Just had a look at your pics Smithy and I am really worried now. My belly is bigger at 6 weeks than yours was at 12!! I'm sooo chunky! I got down from 77kg to 62 for my wedding, promptly gained it all, lost it all again for our wedding anniversary (well, back to 65 anyway ). Then with the drugs, the pregnancy, the miscarriage, the drugs and now the sorest boobs in Christendom (i.e. no exercise for 5 months other than walking and swimming) means I am 70kgs again, and it's all on my belly. I was rubbing my belly the other day (it was contentedly full of a whole portion of red thai curry with veg and tofu)(and lots of rice) and DH pointed out that I looked about 30 weeks.
my work trousers don't fit me today.... oh dear. Can't wait to get home and put something elasticated on.....
Oh Airline you poor thing! Sending lots of up there for you. Perhaps it was just a late implanter? Oh I do hope there is some sort of reasonable explanation for this, I really do.
LM: Don't stress too much hun, I was the same. Check out my pics! (Yes Ms Smithy, I've updated!) I popped out at 7 1/2 weeks. Now I look about 7 months Every time someone asks how far I am and I tell them I get the looks of shock and the "OMG how many are you having?". Except for one lovely lady in Coles the other day that told me I look small for 20 weeks, bless her.
On another little sad note, that friend of mine that I was talking about recently, the one that was going for her 5th round? Well she messaged me today, it looks like AF arrived yesterday, they still have her BT tomorrow but she's pretty down about it. I just don't understand how they don't take. But thanks to those who sent little prayers & stickyvibes.
Hey can anyone tell me, where can I post a little rant I have to make, where it will be private? I have something I want to get off my chest but "the forums have eyes" and there's certain people I don't want to read what I have to say (noone in this thread thankfully!). I know these people search the forums & read my posts and I don't want it available in general nor by searching my profile for "Find all posts by BOC". Is the Platinum section safe?
Anyway hope you all have a good rest of the evening!
hey boc, why don't you create a new/different log-in aside from your usual one to post your vent in the boohoo room (or where appropriate)
LM - try not to worry too much about how big or small you are. Can't do anything about it anyway! lol. but it can be disconcerting. Been asked more than once if i'm having twins; another bloke asked if it was triplets and one lady literally had her mouth hanging open when i told her i still had 12 weeks left... she said incredulously "are you sure?"
Just gotta let it slide. I find the weight thing very diffucult and am not at all coping that well about it... but at the end of the day, you can lose weight after bub gets here... (i lost 30kg about five years ago and would have nearly put all that back on atm ).
bub is squirming himself silly today. he's definitely outta room now! 37 weeks!! had a crying melt down last night about dh not being here; being so huge; being so hot (no a/c in our room). But felt better afterwards.
Yes the paintings are for bub's room.. didn't do any today, but i'm addicted.
it's drizzly and cool here atm .. i'm going to sleep sooooo well tongith! yayaya.
LM - dont worry about what you look like. My belly is huge and I look like I am about 40 weeks but have put on a grand total of 2kg. So it doesnt really mean a thing, how big or small you are, as long as baby is growing away nicely. I can say baby in here is huge already. I feel like he is already running out of room as he is now squirming instead of kicking. sorry take that back he just gave me a nice big kick.
Airline - I have everything crossed for you. I had slow rising HCG and here we are now 27 weeks later.
Smithy hope you are feeling better. I have managed to come off my morning sickness tablets, I am not vomiting but sometimes feel a little quesy.
AFM in absolute agony, Went to physio today and back on wed as when I slipped on DS toys last week I have really flared up my pelvis. Dam i was doing so well I have physio app out to every two weeks now it is back to every 2 days.
Saph I'm so glad your physio is workign for you they are angels I swear.
Grub sleep what's that Squeak is in Disco mode. You and your Mother in Law obvously get on well. hmmmmmmm lucky you
Smithy funny how the weeks catch up on you. good feeling though.
LondonMiss, I got alot of weird pain in early pg. goodluck with your scan tomorrow
Bella I want PIZZA TOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
airline sorry it wasn't what you hoped for goodluck tomorrow
Poppyfairy, you are a very patient lady with the trainee. I'm not. glad all is good and DH can feel movement so special
BOC pizza can be dangerous. I'm glad your ok. take it easy and chew chew chew.
ok it's 11.20pm and my brain is still FULL UP. time for a dump (sorry for the graphic imagage).
Today I went to the tafe induction, it was great saw a hole heap of people I knew from all my past jobs, seams everyone teaches at some time. I really can't wait to do it but really need to be honest with them about when. I hope it goes ok. I'm catching up with the head of school on Tuesday I'm thinking I'll be unable to teach till week 3 at the earliest. I feel like I'm letting them down.
Then as I was sitting down to a lovely tea DF made his mum rang. and the following rolled out "I was thinking I'd love to be around for the birth" "would you be happy with that" "can you pay for 1/2 my ticket!" out of the blue. DF and his mum are rocky at best, she's comming from Tassie and I'm assuming will want to stay here. Now there are two thoughts in my mind. 1 it's a nice thing she hasn't done for any other grandchild (8 total) and it's a nice chance for her and DF to bond a bit. Grandpa is not welcome (ex alcaholic and has an apauling way with women). Thought 2. This is my FIRST baby, I don't know you that much, your son doesn't like you that much (it swings) and you're going to be in my house, life when life is about to be turned on it's head. OH and I have to pay 1/2!
What do I do ladies? I'm so full of all this mother guilt at the moment about going back to work, this is just too much. I'm actually thinking of phoning the work EAP, for some help. I'm on a bit of auto pilot but I am a planner and it seams I can't find centre right now.
Greenslw!!!!! NO NO NO NO!!!! Honestly NO! Tell her NO! Everyone I speak to who is involved in birth and attending women at birth have told me to not have anyone around who you are not completely happy with. It is all about you, DH and this baby! NOONE else!! That was the reason I told my Dad that my Step mother was not coming down for the birth. This is YOUR time and everyone else can go to hell!!! Sorry I am passionate about this!! I have spoken to midwives and doulas about this and they all say this is not the time for politeness and selflessness. Everyone should be doing what you say and if you have to have a hissy fit to get it, then have the biggest hissy fit ever seen in the Southern Hemisphere!!! Tell them you are having a 'babymoon' and that they are welcome to come see the baby after that. Also it is a bit cheeky to ask for 1/2 of the fare! Young couples starting a family should not have to fork out for people to come and see their baby. As I said to my Dad 'No true grandparent would begrudge a few pounds for their grandchild so as far as I am concerned she is not my child's grandchild!!' (bit easier for me because she is a stepmother and not my mother but you get the idea!)
Please I urge you to put you first here. This is your first baby and you need everyone to be making you feel like a queen. If you want them all to stand on their heads while you are giving birth then they should!!!! Don't feel obliged to do anything you feel slightly uncomfortable about at this time!
Last edited by Loveinamist; November 23rd, 2009 at 10:53 PM.
Thank you everyone for your kind words. I went and had a chat with my neighbour/friend (one of the few that know we're pregnant) and felt better yes. arvo. Then went to my wonderful GP who knows my history, and has already given me a couple of extra BTs for peace of mind earlier on. He joked that this would be the most monitored pregnancy and I'll get a mother of the year award. He's great and said it depends on the angle of the scan, where the wee one's attached, and can be out by a week each way. So took more blood and go back with DH for results this arvo.
Between friend, doc, DH coming home and ALL you guys, I felt heaps better. Thank you so much.
Greenslw....I'm with Poppy all the way m'dear!!
Saph - poor poor you. I hope you got some decent sleep last night...difficult I'd imagine with the pain trying to get comfortable.
BOC - I'm sorry your friend had AF show up. You just feel like the weight of the world's on your shoulders sometimes going through all this.
Right I'm off to go and see my girlfriend who's having twins. She doesn't know about me, unless she comes on here................ Haven't seen her in ages....kind of circumstantial, kind of self protection for a while. Take care girls, and good luck LM and Ping I think both your scans are today. xx
Hello - I'm afraid I agree with Poppy and airline. My mother is law is pretty cool - I mean we arent' best friends but she's pretty nice. But I wouldn't want her to be there for the birth - seeing me scream and wee and poo!!! never mind when you are trying ti concentrate!! No way jose. If she came post birth, I'd probably get some help out of her, but it's not like your own mum is it.
I'd say, lovely of her to offer - and as you say, nice that she's making an effort. Let her come, but send her a list of B&Bs in the area. And see if she takes the hint, as Poppy says, it's only a few nights and not that expensive in the great scheme of things. If she wants to come, she'll stay in one, if she doesnt' then make DH get brutal with her. From past experience, I'd say that bad messages must come from him not you, otherwise you become the "difficult" in law... good luck!
airline - sounds like you had some great advice yesterday. I do wonder how exact some of these decisions are, the science seems so open to interpretation sometimes. Before we started trying to concieve, I saw a chinese medicine person and he said that my blood wasn't good enough and tried to get me to do all these things to improve my blood - I have no idea if it made a difference, but for a vegetarian, my blood iron is practically off the (top) scale. It was much easier for a meat eater - let me know if you do and I'll hunt out and send you the list. I'm sure a bit of a blood boost won't hurt?!
Greenslw: I agree... NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and did I say NO! This is your moment and you don't need any negative influences. Oh and as for the airfare ??? She has known you're pregnant for how long and hasn't bothered to start saving? I suggest you either call her or write her a letter, polite but still stating your point.
Try this on for size:
Dear MIL,
Thank you so very much for your offer of being present at the birth of our first child. As much as we appreciate it, we are going to have to decline. As you can understand it is our first this is a very special moment in our lives and we have decided to have just the two of us there. However you are more than welcome to come and visit once we are out of hospital and have settled in at home for a few days. As far the contribution to the airfare, I'm sure you can understand that having to drop from 2 wages to 1 wage has casued some slight temporary strain on our finances (not to mention the additional cost of having to set up a nursery, and medical expenses etc) so unfortunately we will be unable to pay for half of your ticket, however we will understand if you feel you need to take a little longer to save up before you come & visit.
And if she causes trouble with it, maybe DF is just going to have to see her in her true light, and see that in the biggest moment of your lives she in only thinking of herself.
i agree with boc and poppy fairy, just say NO! But i disagree wih boc about the letter (sorry lady ).. I think you should just tell her no on the phone. dont' make a huge thing out of it or show her you were worried about it. My mum suggested teh same thing early on and i simply said "oh, well it's only going to be DH and I at the birth''. NO arguement, no discussion, no justification. IF she asks why she can't come, I'd just say "i only want DH there thanks.'' And then maybe suggest a better time for a visit.
That or tell DH to do it. Men are so wimpy when it comes to their mums, but i'd just put the hard word on him and use as much preggy sympathy as you can too! lol.
And honey - you AREN'T letting anyone down. they want to employ YOU. You are busy producing new life and supporting that life... Plus it's a job - you don't owe them anything... they pay you to work. Don't get sucked into the "guilt'' that you need to be superwoman and do everything. Whatever your decision give yourself time. I know you love work and are excited about this job but please remember that you can't do everything (at once anyway) and if they are as loyal to you as you are to them, then they'll wait for you love.
Sorry if that's too blunt love, you shouldn't have to put up with any pressure or worry atm. the job thing is very hard and you know best how you'll go but IMO, the MIL thing is very simple lol.
and yes, i do get along with my MIL. she's a very sweet woman, a little eccentric but is a kind person (still drives me nuts but the more i know the more understanding i am).
it's gorgeous here today - cool and rainy perfect maternity weather. DH home in 10 days!!! 10 days!!! Got obst appnt tomorrow and haircut thurs Fur baby is keeping me entertained and providng lots of cuddles (she's currently dreaming about chasing rabbits and is moving her legs and 'gruffing' lol crazy little thing).
just while typing had a phone call from one of my MIL's clients who lives about 30 mins away... she's like 80 and rang to check on me and ask me over for coffee. that was sooo sweet! lol.
sorry about the gas bagging ... you girls are my lifeline, i lub you all (no i haven't been into the port barrel )
ox
Hey
Just decided to rejoin the belly belly world
After ttc for just under 2 yrs and one mc later, We fineally found ourselves pg in august, and Im now 17 weeks and counting
afm tho, everything is up in the air atm My mother has been on a downward slide for a few years now and I feel like I dont even know her anymore.. My husband is wonderfull to me and she has never payed him any respect. She suddenly became so vein and selfish about a year before I had my first.. Went and got plastic surgery, started wearing skimpy clothing and dateing these loser men.. acting like a teenager or something.. When I fell pregnant to our son she wanted nothing to do with me, then after having him she decided she wanted to be involved but would never babysit him even for 10 minutes. She would always ring and cancel visits to or from us because she was busy with some new guy. It drove me nuts. Recently she rang up my husband and abused him because I didnt drive down and run errands for her one morning at the last minute.. (when i was throwing up with morning sickness) So we're not talking anymore and havnt been for a couple months now.
Other then that we need a new place to live.. The one we're in now is terribly unsuitable for all of us (Me DH DS our furpuppy and the newbie in my belly) Theres no fence and being a highset there are lots of rotting stairs that lead to a scrubby sticks and stones yard with lots of dangerous drops and things, plus the inside is falling apart. So I havnt been able to get excited so much or set up a nursery yet because we are all sort of half packed up and up in the air waiting for our chance at a new start in a new place.
We've been looking for months and fineally found a place that would be perfect, but then 3 other groups of people applied for it! So even after months of looking we might not even get this place anyway and be stuck here even longer! I really hope we do because I feel like I really need a change for the better lately.. I get the call today sometime.. wish me luck
Just started feeling baby kicks a couple weeks ago which is a real help for me mentally. I just feel like I havnt had much of a chance after so long ttc to just relax and get excited about completing out little family! I want to be able to start thinking about these things and getting things set up.. thinking about the birth and what we're having (we're not finding out) names and just generally getting ready and happy about all of this..
So thats why i joined up here again, I figure If i share my story with others who know what its like and maybe get involved in whats going on with everyone else here then I can start to remember that i AM pregnant and things ARE going to get better
Hi Ladies, Just to clear up it was never a "yes" to the birth but even having her around at my place was making me feel sick. I was up till 3am.
I phoned DF this morning and said what I felt and he said "it's all about me and whatever I want is fine" thank goodness.
So new plan, my mum is on leave for 6 weeks from due date. I love my mum and she gets my "get out" signals and also I'm happy for her to see me cry, fall over etc. So MIL can come after that and stay for a couple of weeks, I'm going to know my baby and have started to work on a ruitine (wether it works is another thing) but then she can be helpful not under foot. I'm still not happy about the pay 1/2 but I'll leave that up to DF. I second you DH comments Grub if they can stay out of it they will.
I'm actually thinking of having my mum at the birth a few of my friends have and found it really helpful. I want her up my end but I thought it may be nice to have someone who I know went through it around. DF is really stepping up with the pep talking too which is good, I felt a little on my own for a while.
So It looks like lots of support but on my terms and I feel so empowered now I think when I'm tired and a bit hormonal I seam to waiver from the strong determined woman I am. Especially when I'm caught off guard.
ALSO my brain is gone. HELP! staff are being pretty supportive which is nice but I feel like an idiot. Still think I might get some couselling but I'll see how my meeting with my manager goes Thursday. Just need someone to vent too.
Welcome kyrawolfe goodluck with the house hunting. it's a tough market and pg wouldn't be helping.
So grub 10 days and counting till DH is back! got anything spesh planned.
BOC I agrea with your money coment heaps. I know they are retired, but this seams like a spir of the moment thing, no thought. We aren't rich by any means but normally $100 would be fine, just with going down to one wage it is a bit of an ask.
LondonMiss I love the idea of sending her a list of B&B's but I think by six weeks post bub I can handle a house guest.
airline hope you managed to suprise your friend.
Thanks for the strong pep talk poppyfairy. I got there in the end.
I can understand completely where your comenig from..
Lets face it, its your body on display at the birth, and MIL as much as we love them (and most of the time, we do, i love mine ) arnt exactly someone you can always feel comfortably showing it all too at the time of the birth haha..
I think you should just make a decision based on what your most comfortable with, and tell her how you feel, i agree you shouldnt over justify yourself to her, because she should be the understanding one at this point, not you..
If you are really close to your mum.. then yeah i think it would be a big help for you to have her at the birth.. Its really good that you DF is leaving the decision makeing up to you and understanding that this is your event as much as it is the babys and you'll need to be as comfortable with your surroundings as you can.. Whether that measn mil, mum, just you and DF or whatever.. best for you is best for bub
This time around Im just going to have my Hubby with me so that we can have our own special moments during the birth.. But We'll be having my MIL and FIL in the waiting room as well as my dearest friend just to know they are close by.. For me my In laws I feel much closer to than my own mother (which is a bit unusual i know) and I never really had a father.. and since all the things have happened with my mum my MIL has become a very special addition to my life.. Im still not comfortable with her seeing me naked (im sure you can all get that) But we are getting very close and Im loveing it
as for my house dilhemma, I got impatient and rang the real estate.. and the property manager is off sick so no decision is being made till tomorow.. The suspense is killing me LOL
hello all. Well, the scan was fine - I feel bad saying this though Airline. I've been thinking about you all day.
It wasn't my doctor, it was odd. She found the sac, it's in the right place and she could see the baby. Even I could see it fluttering, but she couldn't get the thing to measure the heartbeat and gave up in the end. It's just the right size. I got freaked out when I saw it moving - it was just fluttering like a black and white fluttery butterfly. As I'm on the public service, I won't get a scan now until 12/14 weeks, so my doctor is going to give me another scan in two weeks which I'm pleased about. DH has made me promise I'll only two or three people until then. (yeah right)
I'm going to a birthday dinner tonight for a friend who is getting divorced, quite amicably 8 weeks after the birth of their first child. I am totally floored at how this can be happening or how it can be amicable. I have a feeling I will have to keep my somewhat traditional views on this to myself and will end up with a well-bitten tongue tonight....
oh hun this road were all on is so bloody hard sometimes and far from easy ,the stress is over welming and sometimes i think it must be so hard for our dh to watch us go through the hurt as theres nothing they can do in the past i have felt so sorry for my dh watching me only get 2 eggs or ****ty embies his wached me cry for hours, i dont know i think they get angry and upset for us more than anything
im feeling it for you both rite now thats for sure as i no just what your both going through and i will be
that everything works out hun and do not feel bad about coming in here and talking you wont bring us down hun were here for you any time ok .luv smithy big hugs for you sweety and take it easy,stay calm and stick together youll get ther my friend im sure xoxo
). Then with the drugs, the pregnancy, the miscarriage, the drugs and now the sorest boobs in Christendom (i.e. no exercise for 5 months other than walking and swimming) means I am 70kgs again, and it's all on my belly. I was rubbing my belly the other day (it was contentedly full of a whole portion of red thai curry with veg and tofu)(and lots of rice) and DH pointed out that I looked about 30 weeks. 
Every time someone asks how far I am and I tell them I get the looks of shock and the "OMG how many are you having?". Except for one lovely lady in Coles the other day that told me I look small for 20 weeks, bless her. 
??? She has known you're pregnant for how long and hasn't bothered to start saving? I suggest you either call her or write her a letter, polite but still stating your point.
My mother has been on a downward slide for a few years now and I feel like I dont even know her anymore.. My husband is wonderfull to me and she has never payed him any respect. She suddenly became so vein and selfish about a year before I had my first.. Went and got plastic surgery, started wearing skimpy clothing and dateing these loser men.. acting like a teenager or something.. When I fell pregnant to our son she wanted nothing to do with me, then after having him she decided she wanted to be involved but would never babysit him even for 10 minutes. She would always ring and cancel visits to or from us because she was busy with some new guy. It drove me nuts. Recently she rang up my husband and abused him because I didnt drive down and run errands for her one morning at the last minute.. (when i was throwing up with morning sickness) So we're not talking anymore and havnt been for a couple months now.
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