Pregnancy after Long Term TTC #6 - 2009

[LondonMiss]

I am not enjoying being back at work ... at all, and my boss has just left. So I've been doing lots of surfing and research... (happy days). Just had a look at your pics Smithy and I am really worried now. My belly is bigger at 6 weeks than yours was at 12!! I'm sooo chunky! I got down from 77kg to 62 for my wedding, promptly gained it all, lost it all again for our wedding anniversary (well, back to 65 anyway ). Then with the drugs, the pregnancy, the miscarriage, the drugs and now the sorest boobs in Christendom (i.e. no exercise for 5 months other than walking and swimming) means I am 70kgs again, and it's all on my belly. I was rubbing my belly the other day (it was contentedly full of a whole portion of red thai curry with veg and tofu)(and lots of rice) and DH pointed out that I looked about 30 weeks.

my work trousers don't fit me today.... oh dear. Can't wait to get home and put something elasticated on.....

[BOC]

Oh Airline you poor thing! Sending lots of up there for you. Perhaps it was just a late implanter? Oh I do hope there is some sort of reasonable explanation for this, I really do.

LM: Don't stress too much hun, I was the same. Check out my pics! (Yes Ms Smithy, I've updated!) I popped out at 7 1/2 weeks. Now I look about 7 months Every time someone asks how far I am and I tell them I get the looks of shock and the "OMG how many are you having?". Except for one lovely lady in Coles the other day that told me I look small for 20 weeks, bless her.

On another little sad note, that friend of mine that I was talking about recently, the one that was going for her 5th round? Well she messaged me today, it looks like AF arrived yesterday, they still have her BT tomorrow but she's pretty down about it. I just don't understand how they don't take. But thanks to those who sent little prayers & stickyvibes.

Hey can anyone tell me, where can I post a little rant I have to make, where it will be private? I have something I want to get off my chest but "the forums have eyes" and there's certain people I don't want to read what I have to say (noone in this thread thankfully!). I know these people search the forums & read my posts and I don't want it available in general nor by searching my profile for "Find all posts by BOC". Is the Platinum section safe?

Anyway hope you all have a good rest of the evening!

[grub17]

hey boc, why don't you create a new/different log-in aside from your usual one to post your vent in the boohoo room (or where appropriate)

LM - try not to worry too much about how big or small you are. Can't do anything about it anyway! lol. but it can be disconcerting. Been asked more than once if i'm having twins; another bloke asked if it was triplets and one lady literally had her mouth hanging open when i told her i still had 12 weeks left... she said incredulously "are you sure?"

Just gotta let it slide. I find the weight thing very diffucult and am not at all coping that well about it... but at the end of the day, you can lose weight after bub gets here... (i lost 30kg about five years ago and would have nearly put all that back on atm ).

bub is squirming himself silly today. he's definitely outta room now! 37 weeks!! had a crying melt down last night about dh not being here; being so huge; being so hot (no a/c in our room). But felt better afterwards.

Yes the paintings are for bub's room.. didn't do any today, but i'm addicted.

it's drizzly and cool here atm .. i'm going to sleep sooooo well tongith! yayaya.

hi girls! ox

[saph204]

LM - dont worry about what you look like. My belly is huge and I look like I am about 40 weeks but have put on a grand total of 2kg. So it doesnt really mean a thing, how big or small you are, as long as baby is growing away nicely. I can say baby in here is huge already. I feel like he is already running out of room as he is now squirming instead of kicking. sorry take that back he just gave me a nice big kick.

Airline - I have everything crossed for you. I had slow rising HCG and here we are now 27 weeks later.

Smithy hope you are feeling better. I have managed to come off my morning sickness tablets, I am not vomiting but sometimes feel a little quesy.

AFM in absolute agony, Went to physio today and back on wed as when I slipped on DS toys last week I have really flared up my pelvis. Dam i was doing so well I have physio app out to every two weeks now it is back to every 2 days.

Hope everyone is doing well, belly rubs to all.

[Greenslw]

Saph I'm so glad your physio is workign for you they are angels I swear.

Grub sleep what's that Squeak is in Disco mode. You and your Mother in Law obvously get on well. hmmmmmmm lucky you

Smithy funny how the weeks catch up on you. good feeling though.

LondonMiss, I got alot of weird pain in early pg. goodluck with your scan tomorrow

Bella I want PIZZA TOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

airline sorry it wasn't what you hoped for goodluck tomorrow

Poppyfairy, you are a very patient lady with the trainee. I'm not. glad all is good and DH can feel movement so special

BOC pizza can be dangerous. I'm glad your ok. take it easy and chew chew chew.

ok it's 11.20pm and my brain is still FULL UP. time for a dump (sorry for the graphic imagage).

Today I went to the tafe induction, it was great saw a hole heap of people I knew from all my past jobs, seams everyone teaches at some time. I really can't wait to do it but really need to be honest with them about when. I hope it goes ok. I'm catching up with the head of school on Tuesday I'm thinking I'll be unable to teach till week 3 at the earliest. I feel like I'm letting them down.

Then as I was sitting down to a lovely tea DF made his mum rang. and the following rolled out "I was thinking I'd love to be around for the birth" "would you be happy with that" "can you pay for 1/2 my ticket!" out of the blue. DF and his mum are rocky at best, she's comming from Tassie and I'm assuming will want to stay here. Now there are two thoughts in my mind. 1 it's a nice thing she hasn't done for any other grandchild (8 total) and it's a nice chance for her and DF to bond a bit. Grandpa is not welcome (ex alcaholic and has an apauling way with women). Thought 2. This is my FIRST baby, I don't know you that much, your son doesn't like you that much (it swings) and you're going to be in my house, life when life is about to be turned on it's head. OH and I have to pay 1/2!

What do I do ladies? I'm so full of all this mother guilt at the moment about going back to work, this is just too much. I'm actually thinking of phoning the work EAP, for some help. I'm on a bit of auto pilot but I am a planner and it seams I can't find centre right now.

[Loveinamist]

Greenslw!!!!! NO NO NO NO!!!! Honestly NO! Tell her NO! Everyone I speak to who is involved in birth and attending women at birth have told me to not have anyone around who you are not completely happy with. It is all about you, DH and this baby! NOONE else!! That was the reason I told my Dad that my Step mother was not coming down for the birth. This is YOUR time and everyone else can go to hell!!! Sorry I am passionate about this!! I have spoken to midwives and doulas about this and they all say this is not the time for politeness and selflessness. Everyone should be doing what you say and if you have to have a hissy fit to get it, then have the biggest hissy fit ever seen in the Southern Hemisphere!!! Tell them you are having a 'babymoon' and that they are welcome to come see the baby after that. Also it is a bit cheeky to ask for 1/2 of the fare! Young couples starting a family should not have to fork out for people to come and see their baby. As I said to my Dad 'No true grandparent would begrudge a few pounds for their grandchild so as far as I am concerned she is not my child's grandchild!!' (bit easier for me because she is a stepmother and not my mother but you get the idea!)

Please I urge you to put you first here. This is your first baby and you need everyone to be making you feel like a queen. If you want them all to stand on their heads while you are giving birth then they should!!!! Don't feel obliged to do anything you feel slightly uncomfortable about at this time!

[Loveinamist]

Airline - I am hoping that this one is just a late implanter. Thinking of you.

[Greenslw]

Hi Ladies, Just to clear up it was never a "yes" to the birth but even having her around at my place was making me feel sick. I was up till 3am.

I phoned DF this morning and said what I felt and he said "it's all about me and whatever I want is fine" thank goodness.

So new plan, my mum is on leave for 6 weeks from due date. I love my mum and she gets my "get out" signals and also I'm happy for her to see me cry, fall over etc. So MIL can come after that and stay for a couple of weeks, I'm going to know my baby and have started to work on a ruitine (wether it works is another thing) but then she can be helpful not under foot. I'm still not happy about the pay 1/2 but I'll leave that up to DF. I second you DH comments Grub if they can stay out of it they will.

I'm actually thinking of having my mum at the birth a few of my friends have and found it really helpful. I want her up my end but I thought it may be nice to have someone who I know went through it around. DF is really stepping up with the pep talking too which is good, I felt a little on my own for a while.

So It looks like lots of support but on my terms and I feel so empowered now I think when I'm tired and a bit hormonal I seam to waiver from the strong determined woman I am. Especially when I'm caught off guard.

ALSO my brain is gone. HELP! staff are being pretty supportive which is nice but I feel like an idiot. Still think I might get some couselling but I'll see how my meeting with my manager goes Thursday. Just need someone to vent too.

Welcome kyrawolfe goodluck with the house hunting. it's a tough market and pg wouldn't be helping.

So grub 10 days and counting till DH is back! got anything spesh planned.

BOC I agrea with your money coment heaps. I know they are retired, but this seams like a spir of the moment thing, no thought. We aren't rich by any means but normally $100 would be fine, just with going down to one wage it is a bit of an ask.

LondonMiss I love the idea of sending her a list of B&B's but I think by six weeks post bub I can handle a house guest.

airline hope you managed to suprise your friend.

Thanks for the strong pep talk poppyfairy. I got there in the end.

once again thank you all so much for the boost

[barney]

[B]

Then as I was sitting down to a lovely tea DF made his mum rang. and the following rolled out "I was thinking I'd love to be around for the birth" "would you be happy with that" "can you pay for 1/2 my ticket!" out of the blue. DF and his mum are rocky at best, she's comming from Tassie and I'm assuming will want to stay here. Now there are two thoughts in my mind. 1 it's a nice thing she hasn't done for any other grandchild (8 total) and it's a nice chance for her and DF to bond a bit. Grandpa is not welcome (ex alcaholic and has an apauling way with women). Thought 2. This is my FIRST baby, I don't know you that much, your son doesn't like you that much (it swings) and you're going to be in my house, life when life is about to be turned on it's head. OH and I have to pay 1/2!

UMMMM LET ME THINK ABOUT IT....NO.........
omg how dare she just take it upon herslf to ask this WHATEVA
no swwety you be honest and if this is what you want then ok but if not you say that darlin and do not feel guilty or anything like that

hello my beauties I HAVENT SPEWED TODAY pmsl
had a very good day got out flood relief money so went payed some bills dh and i both got a new pair of havvys (thongs lol) sitting here now with the a/c on.
also my g/d results are all good so i can just keep feeding my face with lollies and wonder why ive got so many pimples atm .

well im luven you all but no perssies today im very lazy ok lol.

BUT GRUB... gets dh cuddles soon,not long now sweet heart i dont know how you do it but i take my hat off to you,have a great haircut hun i cant wait to get mine all done

[Murph01]

Hello lovelies,
I'm so close to being back in the forum again I can taste it. I'm sure the courier is going to arrive with my new computer on Friday so I'll be back with a vengeance and that's a threat. Then I will leave and join my new friends in the parent room and wait for you there.

Just had to say a few things quickly (yeah right like I ever do anything quickly!)

Thank you all so much for all your comments after seeing my little poppet. You all commented on seeing my face but I know you were checking out the new milk jugs!! That ws the day after the milk came and boy oh boy, what a change, I felt like bricks were hanging from my shoulders. I was a bit scared but it doesn't last like that all solid and massive, they settle down again.

Airline, don't ever be sorry for the me posts, it takes everyone's mind off their own troubles and puts them to use in being there for you. You will do the same to someone else's me post. Yours was very hard to read and you were brave to share when you felt like a downer. We are all too aware of the downs that go with the ups so don't feel like you bring down the mood. I hope that you have that little heartbeat at your next scan. Huge hugs

Greenslw, like everyone else, I say don't do it and I"m sure you have made your decision now but I'll tell you my reasons. I am super close to my own mum and she came to be in town for the birth and to stay with us after I got out of hospital. I thought I would want and need her but the thing is, my DH Andy, was just awesome and he was with me every minute he could, waiting outside before visiting hours, staying late every night and the whole time around the birth was just about us and our baby. In the end, I even felt that I had compromised on the experience that Andrew and I had together. I can't fault my mum in any way, she's practically invisible she's so unobtrusive with everyone in my family and we love her to bits. My sister and brother and I are all married to people who are closer to our mum than they are to their own. all that said and I still felt that it should have just been Andrew and I. It was really lovely to share those earliest moments and have all my family travel to stay in separate accommodation when I was in hospital but when we went home, it should have been Andy, Jazz and me. You can't get back those earliest moments, the silly things, first bath, first walk in a pram, first time in her bed and you shouldn't have to compromise with anyone, let alone someone you don't even get along with. I'm only just now considering "letting" Andrew's mum stay with us in late January! there is just no way I want to feel uncomfortable around people and have no control. Phew...take a breath. Yep, we have issues (don't we all).

I will add more photos and update my own news later before I move on...I promise