Pregnancy after LT TTC #15

[Possums]

Unfortunately because of this i've become less sociable and feel more distanced from general society. When people complain about trivial everyday things like its the end of the world i find it very hard to have sympathy!

Yogi, I feel EXACTLY that way and have also become less social etc. Like you I am grateful for some of the ways our experiences have changed me, but it certainly does make it hard to have sympathy for trivial complaints, gossip etc.

I also relate to that feeling that something with your body is killing your bubs...I too have been through that. Fortunately for me, they were able to diagnose issues. I only hope my treatment will indeed be enough this time. If you do decide you have the strength to pursue further testing etc, perhaps a different FS? (or you may be very happy with your current one). I actually switched after my last miscarriage and my new FS did all the extensive testing on me and I found her much more thorough in general. Also, it's important not to feel guilt, because whether there is something medically wrong which is causing this, it really is not your fault and is totally beyond your control. I know though, of course, how heartbreaking it is.

And please dont worry about chatting about this in here, I am sure everyone is more than happy to try and be of support...and talking to other women who 'get it' is the best therapy I think. Sorry your mum isn't there in the way you need. Hopefully you can find lots of support here to help you through. And of course still dearly hope your intuition is wrong this time ....hugs xx

[Aimee]

Hi everyone,

Yogi - I am so so sorry. I have nothing to offer but feel free to talk as much as you need. I can't imagine how hard it must be to cope, you've been through so much but you sound so strong, I know you'll have a beautiful family!!! Please be gentle with yourself, I echo everyone else's comments, you are definitely not a freak. I have no idea how this whole fertility thing work it seems so mysterious sometimes.

Take care of yourself! and I hope you have a really good anniversary with hubby....

xoxo

[Aimee]

Hi everyone,

Possums, so glad to hear your news, I used to be excited to have u/s but am now terrified. But am so glad everything went well!!!

Welcome (back) mindhugs!

Just a quick one from me today as have a busy day! Thankyou for your concern. I had another scan on thursday 9 weeks exactly and baby measured perfectly on time I'm so used to having bad news from scans I get really nervous every time! Now I have another worry - I feel stupid complaining - but I'm such an idiot, somehow yesterday I kept getting woken up from my nap ( I know this sounds like a luxury but it really helps keep my morning sickness down). I flopped on the bed 3 times, on my side though, I think I was just really exhausted and now am worried I have shaken the poor little thing up!

Bug's mum - atm I'm due on the 25th August - thanks for updating the list.

Hope everyone is going well!

xoxo

[Kaybee]

Hi Ladies,

Yogi - I just read your news and it tore at my heart. You write so well and so coherently - I can only imagine how hard it must be to calm your mind and emotions to get it all out so clearly. I don't know a lot about the process of adoption but I desperately hope that it will not deliver the heartache and disappointments of your journey so far. My DH's family have a lot of adopted members and they have such a special bond. I hope you get to meet your beautiful healthy baby very soon. Take care of yourself! xxooxoxo

[Kaybee]

Sorry, still me....

Mindhugs - hi, hope all goes well this time round. Glad to hear you are feeling sick Hope it's the first of lots of lovely pregnancy symptoms, IYKWIM!!!

Aimee - your baby is FINE - remember how tiny it is, and how much stuff is surrounding it at this stage.

Possums - phew and yay for another great scan. I am getting more and more doubtful the longer I have to wait for my next one. When will they look again?

I am no longer feeling nauseous all the time, and so obviously this is making me quite concerned. I am inching closer and closer to the 12 week point and even though my chances of mc aren't any lower now than a few weeks ago I am just happy that there aren't as many days to get through. I don't want this to end. I can't go back to the start and do it all again. Less than 2 weeks till a scan.

Hope you are enjoying your weekends, xo

[Possums]

Kaybee- hang in there, not too long now until your scan and until you will be safely in the second tri... next scan for me is at 10 weeks, so about 1.5 weeks away.

aimee- glad your scan was spot on! great news...and flopping onto the bed won't have harmed your tiny little one :-)


have a good weekend everyone!

[Mindhugs]

Amen to the 1st tri milestone. And then the milestone's just keep on keeping on until birth!

Kaybee, Possum & Aimee - the 3 of us have a lot of losses between us. Makes you so paranoid with every little symptom or non symptom. I think the fear and despair we feel at times is linked to what the hormones are doing to us as well. These weeks and scans before the 1st tri are so nerve racking. And it's like a rollercoaster ride. I have a feeling we will all be good and get through FINALLY!

I'm not sure what's wrong with my ticker, but I am 9 weeks and 2 days. Due 27th August - currently. I do know that date can change as you go along.

I have stopped taking my temp as it's all over the place, yet the scans all look great so far. My next one is at 10.5 weeks next Wed. Hoping and praying for that.

Is everyone looking for an OB at this stage already? My IVF Dr told me to find one and book. I've had 4 miscarriages - 2 last year, and I feel like I don't want to rush things in case I taint my chances. Sounds stupid doesn't it? Last year I was looking up prams, names etc getting all excited and invested in the pregnancies only to find the heartbeat stop and then having D&C's. It made my heartache worse.

When should you see an OB for the 1st time? Also when is the nuchal fold done?

As I'm 38 and have worked for a Disabled Kids charity, I am seriously considering doing an Amnio. I've also had a close girlfriend do an Amnio and find a devastating result which led to her terminating. It was just awful for her to go through. Has anyone in here done an Amnio?

Hope your weeks have started off well lovely ladies. The sun is shining on the Gold Coast today

[Possums]

mindhugs- I was also thinking that there's a bunch of us who have suffered quite a few losses, which certainly does increase the first tri anxiety!

glad your scans look good so far....and I am right with you waiting for the next one...mine is in a week, which will be 10 weeks (well 9 wks 6 days) for me. I am sooo nervous waiting for it, and hoping the heartbeat is still going.

unfortunately in Port Macquarie we don't have the option of private obstetrics...and from 12 weeks we have to go to the hospital clinic. As I am high risk I will see a dr each time though (instead of a midwife) and have more regular scans etc.

nuchal fold is done between 11-13 weeks i believe.

am also wondering whether anyone in here has done an amnio? I think if our risk comes in as high after the 12 week scan and blood test, then we will.

Given your history, I would book in with an Ob asap

glad the sun is out for you :-)

yogi- thinking of you, not sure if you are still reading this thread

afm- all ok (I hope!!!!!!!)....scan in one week....and still my weekly blood tests (last one showed levels were good). Saw my endocrinologist on Friday and the Graves Disease is still under control and I am just on low level of thyroid meds, thankfully. I so hope everything is still OK in there. If we have a good scan at 10 weeks we will officially be in unchartered territory.

[juniper76]

mindhugs, I was told by my FS to find an OB after our first scan (7w2d). Like you, I was apprehensive about it, but did it anyway. I was booked in by 8wks. When I booked, I was told I was the 2nd last one they'd take for around our due date. So, as difficult as it is, if you want your choice of OB (rather than whoever is left), book now. My OB normally sees patients at 10wks for the first appt, but we couldn't get an appt that soon, so we had to wait until 12wks. We had our 2nd scan with the FS at 10wks anyway, so it wasn't a big deal. And Possums is right - nuchal scan window is 11-13wks. You need a referral but it doesn't have to be from your OB. I just got my referral from my GP. But the GP did require proof of pregnancy. Fortunately they had a letter from my FS since I was referred to him by another GP at that clinic.

Kaybee, symptoms will come and go. It really did my head in during the 1st tri.

Possums, FX for a perfect 10wk scan!!! Uncharted territory is great!!!

Aimee, I'm sure bub is fine. No amount of flopping on the bed is going to hurt them at this stage.

[Kaybee]

So glad we are all just coasting along for the moment.

Juniper - thanks for the reassurance. I am very aware of how much of a paranoid freak I sound in here. In real life I really am quite normal (but that's all relative, isn't it?).

Mindhugs - at the risk of repeating all that has been said.... Book your OB now to make sure you get in. And the nuchal scan they like to do as close as possible to exactly 12 weeks to make sure they have a few days up their sleeve if baby is a bit bigger or if they have to get you back in for some reason. I haven't thought about an amnio at all. I think it's something I would do if recommended by the doc.

I have booked in for my 12 week scan - next friday. It is so hot here today which is making DS not sleep. Hot, tired 2 year olds are so much fun! Take care ladies xo

[Mindhugs]

Thanks for all the advice ladies.

We had done our research already and just needed to book which I did today. Lucky I did as couldn't get in to see the guy until my week 14. I'm going to ask my IVF Dr if he'll scan me again at Wk 12 as I can't wait from weeks 10 to week 14. It will kill me. He is an ex-OB at the same hospital, so I'm gonna ask him about the amnio too. Sounds like an uncomfortable test, but 1st hand experience working with kids with disabilities and their families, I am willing to get tested. Besides at my age and after 4 and half years of trying I need to know.

I grew up in a tiny cul de sac in a small suburb in Sydney. I found out last year that 5 of the girls I grew up with in the street have had children with disabilities. That really concerned me..............

Possums -10 weeks is unchartered territory for me also. I remember the look of my stomach the last time my fetus died. Everyday I check it to make sure it doesn't look the same way.

I also got accepted into a difficult university course that required over 92% to get in. Starts in late Feb. At this stage I don't know what to do. It's not offered part time and only allows 1 year deferral. If I have this baby it will only be 5 months old the same time next year. Decisions decisions.

Does anyone else study at the moment or run their own business? If so what do you plan to do when bub comes along?

Sorry about all the questions. We don't want to tell anyone we're pregnant until we have firm results from the amnio which is a while off yet. So I have no one else to discuss with. DH is no good at talking this thru with me.

[juniper76]

Kaybee, you're preaching to the paranoid choir here...

mindhugs, do you think you could manage the first semester of uni and then defer from mid this year to mid next year? Congrats on getting into such a demanding course! Also, if you'd be getting a nuchal scan, that would be around 12wks, so you may not have to bother your IVF Dr for a scan then? I'd be inclined to see what results the nuchal scan gave before committing to an amnio, but I can see why you'd be thinking of it and we each have to do what we think is best.

[dreamrise659]

I also got accepted into a difficult university course that required over 92% to get in. Starts in late Feb. At this stage I don't know what to do. It's not offered part time and only allows 1 year deferral. If I have this baby it will only be 5 months old the same time next year. Decisions decisions.

Does anyone else study at the moment or run their own business? If so what do you plan to do when bub comes along?

Mindhugs, I think it is worthwhile making inquiries about whether you could defer after semester 1. I studied when I was pregnant with my daughter. Luckily for me my course finished around 6 weeks before my daughter was due but I had to complete a work placement of 3 weeks so I only finished that 3 weeks before my daughter was due. I was lucky I had a very easy pregnancy - only had morning sickness from week 10 to week 20. I then started part-time work when my daughter was 5 weeks old. I wouldn't have wanted to study full time at that stage but if you can defer for a year from July 11 to July 12 then I think you should be able to fit it in okay.

I am now running my own business - family day care. It means I don't get any paid leave so my plan was to work until as close to my due date as possible and then see when I was ready to start back but today the mother of the family I look after revealed they will be moving to Qld in early July so I guess rather than start with a new family for only a few weeks I will take a break from then and see when I feel ready to start with a new family.

Best wishes with the decision making
Lori
DD- 14 (who I have raised as a single mum from birth except for 2 years when she was 11 - 13). I also returned to full time study when she was 2 years old.

[sunshine 11]

Mindhugs,
My DH and I have a new business (as well as being on maternity leave from my own job) which I will continue to work in after bubs number 2 is born in the next few weeks. I have done lots of study to post grad so have a good understanding and from my experience, given the situation, I would defer for a year. You can decide then, and remember that if you got in once, you can apply again, although it's not guaranteed, but 5 months is an entirely different proposition to studying with a newborn which isn't quite so easy, but it can be done. To be honest the biggest challenge will be child care, but you can have a year to work that out
Kaybee - goodluck with the scan next week, I am sure everything will be fine
Juniper - not long now!!!
Aimee, Possums, Bugs Mum - hope you guys are doing well and hi to everyone I have missed.

Yogi - Not sure if you are reading this thread still but I am so sorry to have missed your posts. Thinking of you xx

AFM - First cool day in weeks and weeks, but hotting up again tomorrow and over 36+ humid from Friday. Had to take off my wedding and engagement rings yesterday as I am getting fat fingers and cankles. I never had these with my DD, but this friggin heat is ridiculous. Ob appointment on Friday and he is happy to induce with with my dodgy hip at 38 weeks so I could have only 2 weeks and 3 days to go if I agree - scary!!

[Kaybee]

Lairdoz - so close - 2 and a half weeks! Were you induced with your first or was it a natural labour?

Juniper - how are you feeling now that you are so close? And which way is bub facing now?

Dreamrise - it looks like things will work out fairly well with your business. A few more weeks with the family might have been better, but at least everybody will be happy. I am amazed at how you must do it. I thought about doing family daycare for a split second then thought there was no way I could handle it.

Mindhugs - congratulations on getting into your course. Can I ask what it is? I haven't had to study with a baby before, but considered doing my masters at one stage. And I have a job with great mat leave so can't really help there either. I think working or studying with an 8-9 month old is MUCH more do-able than with a 5 month old, especially if you are breastfeeding. At least when they are a bit older they are eating food as well and have less feeds during the day - so easier for whoever has the baby (and your boobs). What a massive decision. Hope it works out for you.

School holidays end this week and with it my free time on BB. I should be doing some work now. Seeyas

[Mindhugs]

Hi everyone,

Thanks for all your guidance and advice. I enjoyed hearing how others are planning on working/studying once bub is here!!

I'm gonna wait until my scan next week before ringing the uni to try and sort something out. Would be ideal to get 1 semester in then defer for a year. Only my 1st semester involves a lot of lab work with chemistry, so not sure how that will be for pregnancy? I'm going to be studying 'Bachelor of Nutrition & Dietetics'. Very popular course judging by how difficult it was to get in.

Has anyone here noticed that when lying on their side the belly moves to the side? I'm just over 9 weeks, but due to all my miscarriages and abdominal surgery am showing already. When I lie on my back it almost all disappears. When I stand up it comes back again. So many strange experiences with your body and pregnancy.

Lairdoz - wow you're nearly there. Must be an amazing feeling to know that meeting your baby is just weeks away now. How exciting for you!!!

[worrywart]

Hey everyone, just popping in to say Hello. Haven't been able to use computer much because of carpal tunnel (pregnancy-related) and bad neck (not sure on that one).

Mindhugs, congrats on your course. I studied and still have a long way to go to qualify to practise (psychology), though I've never had kids and really wonder about balancing that. It can depend on your work style, the demands of the course and of course .. the unknown, your baby. Others have already given great advice. Oh, and as for how you have to book OB etc so early, I remember our FS giving us the news that we might have a molar pregnancy (we didn't) and then in the next breath asking "So where do you want to deliver?". I was 6 weeks along. I just gaped, literally. "Deliver? Huh?". GL for the scans coming up.

Also, hang in there Kaybee, Aimee, Possums and everyone in first tri. A tough time indeed. Thinking of you all.

Lairdoz, so you think you'll get induced? Exciting. Let us know how you're going.

Juniper, not too long. How are things with you?

AFM, just hanging in, with a few increased symptoms like sore hands and sore legs/hips (a few twinges but thank god no mammoth cramps recently touch wood). The baby's still head down and the OB says "biggish" ie will be 8 pounds plus which he says is about as big as you'd want for my size (I'm small). Still, my mum birthed my brother who was over 9 pounds, though her second. Anyway, he also said that the baby's prob not coming too soon so I'm just getting used to this and trying to enjoy the R&R (I get a fair bit, though I'm being very naughty and having a small coffee and cake each day, which kind of hypes me up, which is so silly, but it's like I have no self control).


Anyway, belly rubs to all.

WW

[Aimee]

Hi everyone,

Thanks everyone for your sensible comments. I guess I'm just worried I'll eat or do the wrong thing again (we lost no 2 because I ate something I shouldn't have, I had food poisoning and a missed m/c at 13 weeks).

Possums - what an exciting time, glad your bt's are going well and hope that your scan also goes really well next week and you enjoy seeing your bub again!!!

Mindhugs - thanks for your support, did you book into an OB yet? It sounds like your organised with your uni plans, its so hard to know, I think a lot depends on bub too, but if you can defer that would give you some nice time with baby without having to worry about classes and assignment and exams, but you sound very organised and capable so I'm sure it will be ok. When i lie on my side my stomach flops to the side and practically hugs the floor/bed but i think my abs are in quite bad shape

Lairdoz - wow not long now! exciting and a bit scary, hope your next appointment goes well.

Kaybee - I know severe morning sickness is not nice, but on off morning sickness really does play with your mind too! with my DD's i vomited every morning (and sometimes night) until after the first trimester was over, but with this one sometimes i wake up feeling ok and its so worrying. Glad your scan is coming up soon, hope it all goes perfectly!

Juniper - thanks for your support, wow so close now can't wait to hear about bub's arrival and hope you're coping ok in the weather.

Dreamrise - hope all is going well, such a pain about not getting any pay, but glad you have a few weeks to rest and see how everything goes. Does the new government mat leave subsidy help out for people running their own business?

Worrywart - wow so far along now, its great to hear some good news, hope you're managing to stay comfortable and enjoy your r&r. I had a few weeks of before I had DD1 and she came out really calm and happy!

afm - I'm sorry to be such a whinger, on sunday i had a sudden onset of pain in my left ovary and while i was chatting with some friends had a fainting spell (embarrassed, they don't know i'm pregnant yet), hubby and i had to leave quickly and i had a extremely intense severe pain for about 2 hours, i rang the hospital but just as we were about to go in, it began to ease. My fs had just warned me that my left overy could twist because of my ohss. I went (like a paranoid freak) to have a quick check up on monday, dr seems to think i must have just had a or multiple cysts rupture, they were starting to collapse again on the u/s. I had a 2 second look at bub too and saw him kicking around which was nice.

Does anyone else still have any OHSS? I didn't have too much pain early on but over the last few weeks it has been getting worse.

yogi - if you're still here, thinking of you....

hi to bug's mum and anyone else i've missed!!!! i have trouble keeping up sometimes.

take care xoxo