Pregnancy after LT TTC #15

[Possums]

Aimee- sounds like a scary trip to the hospital...sorry to hear you are still having pain- I hope it eases. I am not suffering anything other than slight pain in my right ovary still

worrywart- hope you don't get too uncomfortable with those symptoms....I can understand you having a little treat each day.

mindhugs- congrats on getting into your course and good luck making a decision on the best way to handle things. It is amazing seeing the changes in the body as pregnancy progresses isn't it! enjoy

kaybee- hope all is going well with you...my morning sickness comes and goes some days and i have a mini freak out! good luck for your next scan

lairdoz- wow, so close! exciting and scary I bet- I can only imagine being at that stage!

yogi- thinking of you...did you have your scan today?

a big hello to everyone else here!

afm- had a great session with my acupuncturist today, which helped calm me down (anxious this week, just want to get past where we've reached before). Morning sickness (which for me has just been all day queasy feeling to varying degrees) is not as bad today, so panicked a bit...but I do know it can come and go! Next BT is thursday.
happy australia day for tomorrow everyone

[Renee]

Leabie i hope you are holding your precious bundle by now and getting lots of cuddles!!

Worrywort and juniper Good luck ladies i hope everything goes smoothly for you and you will both be getting cuddles so soon, how exciting!!!!

Hi to all you other lovely ladies hope you are all doing well.

Ava is perfect! We are still having feeding issues with my milk taking 12 days to come in and i only got a very small amount so she is getting both but she seems happy and content with that, it is me who is having difficulties coming to terms with it! Can't believe she is 2 weeks old already!

[Yogi Bear]

Hi again beautiful ladies, sorry to keep lumping you all with my misery and i apologise this is another "me" post (i really hate being like this)...but i really need help...i am in a bad way at the moment...

Scan yesterday confirmed bub passed away around 6 weeks so i go in for D&C tomorrow. On sunday DH & I went to the movies to try and take our minds off things (however we saw Black Swan which is pretty dark and probably not the best of choices!!)...anyway, as soon as we walked in the door home the phone rang & it was my mother. DH answered and i could tell by his expressions and the way he was talking that my mum was being her usual self and instantly launching into her own talk about what she has been doing, trivial everyday stuff...not a mention of "how are things going with you there". To briefly fill you in - this is normal for my family in general. My mum & dad decided themselves that they would keep their distance with regards to our "personal problems" and not ask any questions. They know our situation, i have told them years ago about ivf and our miscarriages in the past but because of their own attitude of "leave them be, they will sort it out themselves" i have had to adapt and grin & bear the me me me talk from my mother and act like all is "hunky dory" for us.
So anyway, i then get on the phone and again she goes straight into what she has been doing, about the dogs, about them going away camping about a movie she say last weekend....i was starting to get smoke out my ears at this stage, giving short, blunt answers. Eventually she says "well anyway, i'll let you go, i know you have only walked in the door (after she has just spent 20 mins talking dribble!).....so then i flipped....could not control my anger, years of built up hurt at her lack of respect & compassion for our situation. I said "we are going through absolute HELL at the moment and have been for the past 5 years and you cant even bother to ask how we are going and what we have been doing"....it want on, but i knew it was falling on deaf ears as i have tried in the past to explain how we need support, empathy & care & compassion etc....we are dealing with major life-changing trauma & heartbreak, i am her daughter for gods sake!!! My mother has ALWAYS never taken on any responsibility herself and will always try to put "blame" on someone else. She pretty much blamed me for my behaviour and eventually said "I am going to end this conversation now and its up to you to contact us and let us know how we can help"....so that was it. She has thrown it back onto me...here i am going through yet another miscarriage, my world is falling apart and now my own mother has deserted me.

....its gets worse...

when i get off the phone i am so upset & shaking like a leaf...i just snap...i threw the phone down on the loungeroom floor and smashes into pieces (we have mainly tiles in our house)...i smash up the fan in the living room....i move to the computer room and throw the ironing board and iron around the room and smash huge holes in the door, i move to the spare room and throw the spare TV on the floor, smashing my toe, before curling into a ball and hyperventalating, struggling to breathe. My poor DH witnessing all this, trying to stop me.

The neighboors were obviously concerned cause within about 10 mins the police are at the door thinking it was some domestic violence case. Had to explain it all to them, while noticing my legs are badly cut up bleeding and bruised.

Is this a nervous breakdown? I'm not sure what to call it but its years of stress & heartbreak & trauma built up and now my mother has left me too. About an hour later i realised i'd even wet my pants through all this....i've never experienced anything like this in my whole life...its absolute rock bottom for me.

So here i am, i've lost yet another precious bub and now my own mother....and i feel like i've been made to feel guilt, like its my fault. For all my mum knows i could have put myself in hospital but i know she will not ring me now...she has left it up to me to ring and she will probably expect an apology.

Ladies, am i being unreasonable? Is this my fault with my mum. I have tried so hard to be the good daughter over the years...heres an example. In 2008, my 1st m/c i had a D&C on the tues, the sunday (just 5 days later) was mothers Day and we both went to my parents with the rest of the family for "happy family" dinner....i did it for my mum cause i love her. She did not know about the m/c at the time. I remember crying all the way home in the car that day. Later i did tell mum about this and how hard it was to get through the day but i wanted her to have a nice mother day. Just one of many examples where i have put on a brave face for my family.

Anyway, thanks for listening, sorry i know this is not the place for this. I am definitely going to seek professional counselling for this. I just need to sort out these issues and put myself first for a change.

Any advice welcome....please tell me if i'm the one being unreasonable with my mother..i'm just finding it hard to accept that its my fault she doesn't know how to be supportive for her own daughter. Its just not fair that i have to be dealing with this especially at the moment, it not fair i am feeling guilty for this.

Thanks again
From a twisted & screwed up Yogi
xxx

[Kaybee]

Wow Yogi - get it all out!! I don't feel anywhere near qualified enough to be the first one to reply here. You (as everyone has said) have been through so much. So many losses - and we all know it is not about the numbers as even one mc is a lifetime of pain. Long term TTC is its own long drawn-out torture. To endure all of this with STILL no result would be more than enough to make anyone half as strong as you flip out. We, who understand, would not wish this fate on even our worst enemy and can only hope that our loved ones never experience the same pain. All we can hope is for our family and close friends to be there and offer their loving support. Nobody can ever quite know what to say at these times - even those who have been through it themselves - but just being there, offering a hug, a chat, some flowers, a coffee even can mean so much. Your mum has obviously never even tried to contemplate or understand what you are going through. Would she be so absent if you had a serious illness? I don't understand how or why she wouldn't want to even try to understand or help. How can you stand there and watch your daughter in pain, crying out for help then throw it back at her and make her feel guilty??? It's crazy.

I guess if you hadn't had your destructive "episode" then you would have only found another way of letting off steam which could have ended up much worse - better a broken tele than broken bones in a car crash or something.

Anyway, I am rambling - I really think (as you said) that you need to go and get some counselling. You had enough to cope with already and were already starting to blame yourself for your fertility problems and now adding your mother's issues on top of it all is not a good idea. I hope they can help you see how strong you really are. MASSIVE

[Aimee]

oh Yogi

I have no idea what to say but couldn't not post. I'm so so sorry.

I know I'm in a very different situation to you and cannot imagine the pain that you are going through......I'm sure you are grieving many different things right now and feeling unsupported by family is another "blow" (not sure if I used the right word).

Not that its an excuse at all, some people don't seem to be able to understand what you are going through if they have not experienced the emotional pain of your heartbreaking journey themselves. But it must be heartbreaking to not be supported by your mum.

I think we've all snapped before in different ways, don't be too hard on yourself. I think the hormones are also horrible and I had quite a few meltdowns (PMS x 100 if that makes sense).

I'm so sorry, don't feel bad for venting it sounds like you've been through a horiffic ordeal. Praying for you hun, I really do wish there was something I could do....but am happy to listen anytime....

xoxo

[WeeMansMummy]

Oh Yogi you have me in tears again! Of course your not unreasonable, if your mother expects you to listen to her day to day drivel she could at least show you the same courtesy and listen and give support to your situation. Your HER baby, she should want to hold you and make you feel better.

The counseling is a great idea, i honestly think you should also look into genetic counseling and a change of clinic or FS. There MUST be an explanation for what keeps happening to you. You may need PGD IVF or some kind of injections to keep you pregnant.

I hope you feel better soon and please dont give up on your dream.

xoxo

[Mindhugs]

Hey Yogi,

This can be such a lonely journey at times. Often DH is the only one there for us, when we need the compassion and touch of a mother or sister.

Been through this recently myself over my September miscarriage (#4), but with my sisters.

I would higly recommend booking yourself into see a Psychologist or Counsellor who specialises in infertility. There should be one linked to your IVF clinic, if not a free session with each IVF??? I put off seeing one, but it got to the point in November where I just had to go and I was so glad I did as I was going through post traumatic stress. One session was all it took me to get some guidance on how to put it all into perspective, and give me some better tools on how to cope with people like my sisters.

What you did is what many of us have felt like doing so often. Although it often is like a silent scream in our heads.

I read somewhere recently about a woman who had 2 miscarriages and spent 3 years in grief, unable to smile. The grief becomes almost insurmountable.

You need to know you are not alone with these feelings at all. And what you are feeling towards your mum is normal build up of frustration. As a hypnotherapist I also need to be a qualified counsellor. Let me tell you it's better out than in. Suppressing is worse. You released it and allowed it to come out. I say smash it, cry as much as you want and let it come out.

There is a heck of a lot more invested in an IVF miscarriage than a natural one. I've experienced 2 of both and can speak to this. But unfortunately people who haven't experienced IVF will never understand what it's like.

I feel as if my mum has got bored with my 4 year journey and now focusses on me getting into uni. That's about all she talks about these days. And don't get me started on my sisters. In September after my last D&C my milk came in 2 days later (yes after losing the bub at 6.5wks), was so bittersweet, milk, but no baby. Doctors panicked and rushed me in to have an MRI as they thought I had a tumor on my Pituitary Gland, luckily I did not. I rang one of my sisters in desparate tears one night sobbing so much I couldn't really speak. She consoled me and then I didn't hear from her for 6 weeks......................the other sister just shrugs her shoulders, says sorry and that's it. I get no support, but I desparately want it and ask for it.

Yogi - take some time out. Allow yourself to feel everything you need to. Try, when you're ready to do something special to say goodbye to this precious bub (plant a tree, buy a keepsake etc). Focus on nurturing yourself. Hold DH tight. These next few weeks are the hardest. We are all here ready to give you love, support and compassion. We are your sisters on this journey and we feel your pain. We know your despair and are here whenever you need us.

My Psychologist hit the nail on the head when she said - this is not just about the loss of a baby, it's almost the end of a dream and the biological desire to want to have a baby with someone you love so much. She cried with me.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[Possums]

Yogi, huge hugs to you. Firstly, no, of course you are not being unreasonable- your mum obviously has no idea of the support you need or what you are going through. Of course she should be there for you- supporting you, checking in. Please don't feel guilt over that. I feel sad she is so unaware and insensitive and that you have to deal with that.

I agree with mindhugs that IVF and IVF losses are very tough to deal with, and long term trying to have a baby really takes its toll in so many ways.

I imagine that your outburst must have been scary for you, especially afterwards. It can be scary to lose control, yet so understandable, I think sometimes we all do to an extent (I have been on the ground crying and unable to move before). The main thing is that you were able to vent a bit, noone was badly hurt and that you can now get professional counselling and help to get you through your grief and all the other emotions that go along with all that you have been through (all the anger, and heartache and isolation and pain and bitterness and sense of loss etc ).
And keep talking to us as long as you need to, we do really get it, and many of us have experienced loss and a long road, which means we know where you are at.

I agree some time out is a great idea, just dont expect too much of yourself, stay open and talking to DH and go one day at a time until the hurt eases and you can regroup. And yes, book in to talk to someone, it really helps so much in gaining perspective and making sense of the huge mix of emotions which threaten to overwhelm sometimes. And avoid any situations you think will be hard for you right now.

Thinking of you and sending you hugs ...I am just so very sorry you have had to go through so much loss and pain xx

[dreamrise659]

Yogi,

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. Five and a half years ago I went through a very rough period with my parents (they actually took me to court over access to my daughter - like divorcing couples they wanted her every 2nd weekend and half of all school holidays!). It meant that for many years I have been very wary about having much to do with them at all. I felt wary about letting on when I was feeling low or struggling with my fertility issues etc as I was worried about what they might turn against me in the future (I'll never forget the way they twisted everything around in their affidavits for court). So I can relate to the feeling of total frustration and despair that the woman who should be your greatest support (your mother) is someone you can't rely on at all. It has only been the last 12 months that I have started to let my mum back into my life again but I'll never forget the hurt she caused and I'll never completely trust her again. By the way we now have a court order that they have my daughter one weekend a month and for 1 week during the July school holidays! (who knew grandparents had rights like that?!)

I think you have been completely reasonable and your mother should be trying her hardest to support you. Maybe she feels uncomfortable and sad when she hears about your losses and wishes she could do something to help but feels a failure and her way of coping with her feelings is to act ignorant of it all?

I think counselling is definately a good idea but maybe you could see if the counsellor could also suggest a book or something you could give your mother to read to help her gain a better understanding of what you have been and are going through?

As hard as it is I think that for your own sanity it might be better for you to not have contact with your mum for a while... atleast not until she is able to come to you and show you the compassion you deserve. You certainly don't owe her any sort of apology.

I'm glad to hear it seems like your DH has been understanding and supportive of you when you did "snap"... and I think it is completely understandable after all you have been through. I've had a couple of times in my life when I have seen a pyschologist and been diagnosed at the brink of a mental breakdown. I'm now very aware of when I need to pull back or change things in my life to ensure I never get to that point again (and never go over the edge). Personally I feel that at this point in time your mother is probably one of those things you need to pull back from in order to maintain your sanity.

Best wishes with everything.

Lori
DD - 14
9w2d pregnant 4 years after starting this journey.

[LizLemon]

Yogi, I fear that anything I say will just be a repeat of what the ladies have said above. My heart goes out to you and I hope you find some peace and a way forward very soon.

You have every right to kick, scream, cry, throw, basically just let it out however you see fit. I have been guilty of many a tantrum over out TTC journey when it all got a bit much. Your wonderful DH will understand. But I think that the idea of counselling is a good one, you need someone to help you process all the things you are feeling.

As for your mum, I have always been of the mindset that we can't change people around us - and trying to just makes us more upset. Throughout our whole journey DH and I have just made sure we only let "let in" the people who were genuinely there for us. And in some cases that meant we shut out family members, but in the end it was easier for us than to deal with people that would make us feel worse (albeit unintentionally).

Keep coming back to talk to us Yogi, we truly do care and understand.

xx

[sunshine 11]

Yogi - apologies as I have tried to reply twice in the last two days but my ipad can't connect to submit my post....

I was just wanting to say how sorry I am, and to assure your that your frustration is entirely and utterly normal. The only comment I would make it that whilst I completely agree that your Mum's support isn't what it should be, I think as IVF-ers we can't always expect our families to be our only support model - they simply aren't equipped at times to give us the support for what is an hugely stressful and emotionally turbulent time. People get what I call 'empathy fatigue' - they get tired of having to feel sorry for us, kind of like hearing a tragedy in the news and then a week later not having the same emotional response even though the tragedy is very real and current for the person who experienced it.

I don't want you to think in anyway I understand how as mother your Mum can't tell how sorry she is and that she would do anything to help in this situation, but just wanting you to focus the frustration at the situation separate to your Mum first so that you can deal with that rather than turn all the pain on your Mum because she and her behaviour is so more tangible that the awfulness you have had to experience through recurrent IVF miscarriages. I think we expect so much more from our Mum's than from anyone else and as many people know, being a parent, doesn't make you a great one.

I really agree with with the other ladies on here that seeing a counsellor will be really valuable for you - but we are all here for you and hope that this cyber support mkes a small difference in a really tough time. BTW - don't think you are too special breaking a phone - I have broken a phone AND a keyboard out of frustration xxxx

[Possums]

Yogi, just wanted to say I am thinking of you xx

[Yogi Bear]

Ahhh beautiful girls...sisters yes, you have me in tears over your words of genuine care, compassion & understanding...i cant thank you all enough, each & every one of you: Possums, Lairdoz, Bug'sMum, Lori, Mindhugs, Jaki, Aimee, Kaybee, airline, juniper, worrywart, Leabie & anyone else i've missed (sorry)...so blessed to have found this thread with such a wonderful bunch of ladies

Am recovering OK from yesterday, was the first time using my private health ins so went through the private hospital with my FS doing the procedure....seemed only fitting that after more than 4 years of trying & failing through this clinic that this is the last procedure FS did on me...not the ending we wanted at all! Anyway we are officially finished with the clinic now and will never have to walk through those doors again and see the pitiful looks on all the faces of the staff. I am getting the chromosome testing done and also tests for bacteria....thanks so much to Mindhugs for letting me know about this, i had never heard of it before. i had to ask FS to test for this, he ummmed & ahhhed and said there is nothing else they can really test for then finally said "yeah i suppose we could do a test for bacteria"...FFS why are we paying these people!! Thanks again Mindhugs, i might PM you if thats ok, could be something else to look into for sure.

As for my mum, haven't heard from her at all and i dont expect to either to be honest. The thing with my mum (and dad for that matter) is they have always keeps things on a superficial level with the family. When everything is going well with everyone (or so they think, i have 1 brother & 1 sister both older) then all is sweet and happy families and wonderful....but when things are tough they just can't handle it...their parenting approach is "leave them be, let them sort it out for themselves". Looking at their life i can see that they have had a fairly "easy" life...dad held a good steady job for life, they bought a house (which they still believe is the be all & end all to life!), had 3 kids and a few grandsons, they are lucky to have their good health etc. Now i know that everyone experiences hardship of some sort in their life and i'm sure my mum & dad have had their own ups & downs but nothing like such "grown-up adult" problems as the ones DH & I are dealing with. Even when my sister was going through her divorce a while ago they, again, had the attitude "let them sort it out, its their problem". I remember ringing my sister nearly everyday during that hard time for her and being a loving ear for her (i was living on the other side of the state so unfortunately didn't see her physically as much as i wanted to)...but i was there for her. She has obviously forgotten about this and is no-where in sight for me during my times of heartbreak...i have such a lovely sister too (NOT), very much like my mum!!!

Offering support, compassion, care & love for someone in need has NOTHING to do with what the actual issue is....people dont need to understand what you are going through to show empathy and kindness. Be it, as Kaybee said, whether its a serious illness, or a relationship problem like marriage breakdown, loss of a loved one, infertility....whatever the issue is if someone is showing such stress & trauma then a loved one, like your own parents, should be able to express their love & support. A simple "thinking of you, are you ok?" or "we are here for you anytime" or a little card in the post saying "we love you and are praying for you"....its not a matter of asking questions and expecting to get all the details...that should be up to me to offer information if i feel the need for them to know....but to not even have my own mother ask a general "how are you going?", after not talking to her for over 2 weeks...when she knows we have been dealing with problems for over 5 years...its very hard to keep putting up with this behaviour, which i have done for such a long long time. I have never had a really close relationship with my mum (as you can tell!), like i said she likes to keep it fairly superficial and one-sided conversations have generally been the norm (her side, about meaningless everyday blah). Even when i have opened up and told her private personal information and expressed my feelings she has gone and passed it all on to everyone else...the reason i do not trust her.

Going back even further...my mum has admitted that she never had a good relationship with her own mother and i think its passed on to us. What worries me greatly now is that maybe i will be the same if i am a mother too?....maybe this cycle will continue and the reason i cant carry a baby is to break this cycle? I remember seeing a wonderful Reiki woman about a year ago and she said that i have blockages on my left side which relates to receiving and has a lot to do with female relationships such as with sisters or mother...BINGO! thats me. Today i made a booking to see this lady again....i think i know what i need to work on!

What i find so hard to comprehend through all this is that here are DH & I so desparate to have children and willling to do anything and everything to have them and i tell you what when they do eventually come to us (somehow i know they will) i know we would fly to the moon and back a million times over if we could to try and help them with anything, especially seeing them going through such heartache. My mother has witnessed the stress i've been under, the heartbreak, she's heard the tears a number of times in the past and still done nothing to change her "leave them be, let them sort it out themselves" approach. This last episode is, as Kaybee said, this is me crying out for help...hitting rock bottom. And my mum's solution/response is to end the conversation and leave it up to me to call her and tell her how she can help.....I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND THAT!! Do i have to "teach" her how to show empathy & compassion towards her own daughter???

You just cant teach people how to do that, my mother obviously is not capable and unfortunately i can never change her. As Lori said i need to keep my distance and surround myself with people who can give me the support & love i deserve right now. I'm lucky to have a few close friends i can talk to at the moment and also so grateful for you all there on this thread. Again so sorry to talk about all this here....i was a bit reluctant to mention anything as i am generally a private person and even though this is an anonymous internet site i still get bit "funny" sometimes about putting my feelings out there. But then i think for anyone out there also just reading it will give an insight into the many aspects of infertility & m/c and the emotional journey we all travel as well as the physical...its just not pretty a lot of the time!!

DH & I have booked a counselling session through SIDS (they also support early pregancy loss too) for next week and i have also made an appointment with a pyschologist through the GP mental health management plan (get some rebate off medicare which is good)....we absolutely need, and so desparately deserve, to be nurtured and properly supported through all this.

Onwards & upwards, focusing on surviving the present at the moment...the future can wait. It HAS to be good though surely, cause it just cant get any worse hey!!

Opps, another megalong post sorry….hope your cuppa tea didn’t go cold!!!
Sending out lots of love & hugs to you all, thanks again
Yogi xxx

[Mindhugs]

Dear Yogi. We will all be breathing a sigh of relief that you have posted in here again. Just to know how you are and let you know that we are ALL here, anonymous or not.

Reiki! YES YES YES. I was thinking about that today for you. As you know it's so great for moving bad energy, negative energy, grief and blockages. I believe it gives you the edge to face the day. Fantastic idea! Was the best thing ever when I went through a horrible divorce years ago.

You are doing everything you can to assist yourselves which is great. Don't forget to slip in a massage or facial for yourself too!

My girlfriend went to SIDS for early miscarriage support and said they were amazing. So you are in good hands.

You WILL be a mum and dad I just know it! The pain of a loss runs so deep, but once you come up for air you refocus on your dream again and don't stop.

Please PM me so I can share as much info as possible about what I have learnt about bacteria etc. I will arm you with everything you need to know.

Put your feet up, take a breath and enjoy the weekend. Come back to us as little or as much as you need sister

Much love and hugs for you both xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[Leabie]

Hi all you lovely ladies

Just wanted to let you know that you can finally cross me off the list! Our little Chloe Elizabeth arrived last Monday, 13 days overdue. Had to get induced, she just didn't want to come out.

Went into hospital Sunday night to start the process with the gel, another dose Monday morning, by lunchtime nothing was happening so they broke my waters and stuck in an oxytocin drip, and... OMG! That worked. She was delivered 2 hrs 45 min later. The OB was at another hospital, and made it back for the last 3 pushes of the delivery - lucky, as she had the cord round her neck twice. All went well though, and she was a healthy 3.755kg.

Home from hospital yesterday after a hard few days, and its so nice to be home. My milk still hasn't come in so we're comp feeeding plus I'm expressing. Its definitely a 2-person operation, luckily DH is home with me for the next little while!

I didn't have much time to read through everyone's posts, hope everyone is going OK. And I just wanted to send a massive hug to Yogi - remember that true family are the people you choose to have around you, not the people you are related to by blood.

Have a great weekend everyone!

[dreamrise659]

Our little Chloe Elizabeth arrived last Monday, 13 days overdue. Had to get induced, she just didn't want to come out.
Went into hospital Sunday night to start the process with the gel, another dose Monday morning, by lunchtime nothing was happening so they broke my waters and stuck in an oxytocin drip, and... OMG! That worked. She was delivered 2 hrs 45 min later. The OB was at another hospital, and made it back for the last 3 pushes of the delivery - lucky, as she had the cord round her neck twice. All went well though, and she was a healthy 3.755kg.

Congratulations Leabie. So glad to hear that all went well in the end.

You must have been very concerned when you found out she had the cord around her neck (or did you not know until she was already safely out?). My brother had the cord around his neck when he was born. I remember my mum told me that my brother was overdue and even when she started getting contractions she didn't get any urge to push at all and the nurses kept telling her too but she just felt something was wrong. Eventually the doctor came in and he had a feel inside and discovered the cord was around my brother's neck. He managed to slip it off as my brother was born but he was still very blue and if the doctor had been any later he probably would have died.

I am curious did you go private for your OB or was this public? I'm just curious as to why they would put you on the drip if the OB wasn't even going to be around. When I had my daughter (14 years ago) I paid for a private OB though he bulkbilled some appointments and I didn't have to pay for the actual birth. Anyway I was induced because I was over 17 days past my first due date and 1 day past my other due date. I had two lots of gel (one at 9am and one at noon) and then they did the drip at 4pm that afternoon. However they didn't use the drip until the doctor was in the hospital. My labour was around 5 hours in total and my OB would pop his head in every 30mins or so and was there for the last 10 minutes.

So glad to hear you and Chloe are home safe and sound now.

Lori
DD - 14, number 2 due 29th Aug.

[Renee]

Congratulations Leabie on the birth of little Chloe. Hope you are both doing well. She was definately way too comfy in there!!! I hope your milk comes in soon.

[worrywart]

Leabie, congratulations!

Yogi, I read your posts with .. such shock and dismay. God. You write really well, btw. You might do some more writing, if you don't already. Anyway .... So there's not too much I can say that hasn't already been said, but my mum can be a little like that at times and her sister is very much like that. It's narcissism and it can be clinical (ie is your mum perhaps a bit mentally ill, even if she's never been diagnosed?). It can be a relief to realise this. Also, on a lighter note, narcissist parents often produce neurotic children - and neurotic children make the best parents, ie sure we're worried, but we really care! Also, I too have smashed a phone (into someone's face - how's that for shocking rage). I hope you're getting some decent help - you might need to shop around for the right person.

AFM, I can't really type now because of the carpal tunnel. Really excited about baby's arrival. OB said that the cervix is ripening and I prob won't go overdue, but who knows right?