BDT- so glad to hear from you and to know that your levels look good! I was wondering...and you are right, try not to google too much until you have your next scan...I know after that one you will have more confidence in it all
kelly- you really do have so much to handle right now, I feel for you, and I think it's natural you would be feeling a bit worn out and flat...hopefully next week you can get a bit of a breather and recharge a little at least..don't be too hard on yourself for how you feel, you are carrying twins and have DD to handle too, so it's a lot.
bdt - so glad those levels are good! and yep, google is NOT your friend... but it's so hard as you know. YOu feel like it gives you some sort of control over it all iykwim. Take it really easy and lots of fingers and toes crossed here for you lovely. oxoxox
hi possums are you feeling sweet? whens your next appointment? ooh just wait til you start feeling the movement, it gets so addictive lol.
oh kelly i so feel for you love. you've done so well to get this far and always so chipper! I'm in awe of you! I am feeling bblllaaahh and only have half the belly you do so i can imagine how you are looking at the weeks left with dread.
I have really found this 2nd pregnancy so close to my first has taxed my body unbelievably. It's a different pregnancy altgether and better in some ways, but my body is just feeling the strain so much more and I'm much bigger than i was with DS. Kelly, I am hearing you about trying to 'enjoy' being preggy as this will probably be our last baby as well... but it is so hard.
DOesn't help we are in the most humid capital in Oz and it's been pretty warm either.
Kelly, Maybe its the week for feeling blah eh? But on the plus side, it is making me more and more excited to meet my new baby! i just want my baby here now so we can get that tough first 6 months done and dusted and enjoy our beautiful children.
for the girls who are having their 1st bub - i can't tell you enough at how wonderful being a mummy is.. and it gets better and better as they get older. I just can't stop kissing and cuddling my beautiful DS (and squeezing that squishable tooshy lol). And now he's 14 months, he's got a real little personality - a cheeky one! Every day i feel more and more privledged that our IVF journey was a success and i feel so very blessed to have such a wonderful little person in my life... AND I, me, grub, gets to be his mummy!!!! how cool is that! lol.
But I also feel a real pain for all those mummies whose babies haven't come to them yet... like almost a guilt that i'm so happy with my circumstances. My sister and BIL have major genetic issues and while she can get preg, the baby always miscarries by 14 weeks even the genetic testing and IVF netted nothing for them and yet she's so amazing with my DS and so excited and loves him to death... but I can see their pain that they don't have their own.
ooooh i'm so sorry to ramble. better go and get ready. going out for lunch with DH's work one of the girls just had a baby so i get cuddles!!!! yyiippeee
grub- thanks for sharing your positive views on being a mummy, love to read that
sorry you are feeling pretty taxed with this pregnancy...how many weeks are you now?
afm- I am doing well...feeling great today as I had all my hair cut off into a short cut last night, feel like a new women...it is a change but i love it and have received great feedback from people today. Feeling well too. Going up to the clinic again next week just to hear the heartbeat for reassurance (my ivf midwife offered to give me regular listens if i wanted, and i said, yes please!)...i find it helps keep me a bit calmer with it all.
I have a sushi question...in 'what to expect' it says cooked fish and vegetable sushi, bought at a restaurant (ie made fresh) is ok...thoughts? DH and I are heading to the local japanese tonight...there are lots of options of course, but i do really miss sushi rolls, and thought i might be able to have vegetable ones, or cooked tuna or something.
hi possums, that's so good about the hair! i did the same... super short, feels so fantastic in this heat!!! bet you look gorgeous. that is so wonderful of your clinic to do that for you, i'd be there all the time too lol.
Yep, it needs to be raw seafood cooked fresh. Not pre-cooked stuff. Also, i would check on how long the rice has been sitting etc as rice is a nasty for harbouring bacteria if it isn't cooled down properly iykwim. I don't eat sushi or seafood so it's not a biggie for me, so i don't know all the ins and outs iykwim. if its a reputable restaurant and all done fresh i don't see you'd have a problem. enjoy!!!
lunch with dh's workmates was lovely. that baby was sooo small and DS did NOT like mummy holding another child lol. ox
Thanks for your kind words Possums & Grub, and I think it is the week for feeling blah for sure. It is also making me a bit sad that I can't do so much with DD either as I'm so big and cumbersome and all she wants is a mummy who will play chasing and run around the garden..
AAWWW Grub about DS and the baby, we have started to hold dolls and pretend to be feeding them to get DD used to the idea of sharing mummy. Surprising last week she picked up one of her dolls and got a round block and was pretending to give her a bottle - this was without her seeing anything from me. Maybe she has an idea of what is going to be happening very soon.
I agree with grub, being a mummy is so fantastic and as they get older it is so much more enjoyable. Everyone loves little babies, but once they start to develop and get their own personality traits it is just so rewarding to see what a miracle having a child is. So for all you first time mummies to be, there will be tough times ahead and it will seem like it will never end but it does and these little people we have created (with much medical assistance) will be the joys of your life.
Possums: About the sushi question, I love sushi but avoided it for both my pregnancies. I wouldn't buy from one of those stalls in the food court and even when we went to a japanese restaurant when pregnant with DD I passed on the sushi & sashimi and went the tempura option instead. I've never been overly paraniod about what foods I have eaten while pregnant but for some reason I have avoided sushi although I will happily eat smoked salmon. My advise is to use your gut and if you think it is ok then go for it but if you are questioning if you should or shouldn't then maybe steer clear as you will drive yourself (and probably DH) insane wondering if you did the right thing or not.
Ok girls this will give you an idea of how big I've grown recently... I had to go and buy some new maternity tops today....SIZE 18.... I am normally a size 14 pre-pregnancy and I had both size 14 and 16 maternity tops when pregnant with DD as I also carried all to the front so had to go up 1 size, but now my size 16 mat tops are starting to creep up over my bump so I had to go up another size again. Lets see how long these last me for as I don't want to keep buying bigger and bigger sizes as they will then be too big for my bust and arms (these haven't changed in size) and I won't get much use out of them in my post pregnancy phase either...
Hi everybody!!! I made it around the supermarket today without dry wretching!!! Also I am feeling less like barfing when I smell certain foods now, which is great!!! Sorry - it's been so exciting for me I just had to share.
Kelly & Grubs - thanks so much for the mummy words. Made me smile and feel good. Just like Possums I am soooooo nervous every step of the way.
Possums - I looooooovve sushi, but have forced myself to steer clear of it, even though I can see them making it in front of me etc. I'm also finding it hard to stay away from deli meats. I'm gluten free, tomato free and garlic free. So on top of all the other pregnancy food "no no's" I am finding it hard to come up with things to actually eat.
BDT - hi there. Glad to hear from you. Fingers, toes and everything crossed. I sent you a PM last week but it got rejected saying "BDT's in-box is full". So I assume you have lots of people checking in on you right now. I'm gunning for you along with the other girls. Please pop in and say hi every now and then
AFM - nervous, and have my 1st OB appt tomorrow afternoon. So hoping to hear a heartbeat and lots of questions about low lying placenta etc for him.
Hope you guys are having a great weekend. The temp up here has dropped a bit with the wind and rain which is great for me as the heat and humidity makes me so green with nausea!!!
Hi ladies... I just wanted to touch base before I leave for brissy tomoz. I know I am already a slack poster but I won't be on much. Will be reading from my iPhone as always but I won't be posting much. I have all my hospy apts on weds so I will let you know if anything important comes from that.
Hello everyone. Like Jaki, I've become a slack poster but keep an eye on the forum most days. WW .... CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!! don't think I've posted that yet, although my memory is not very good right now ;-)
It's so lovely to see the cycle continuing on here...as girls give birth to their dream bundles, newbies join and continue the journey, seeing heartbeats, having scans, tests, nausea :-0 , and all the while there is someone out there online to listen, sympathise, laugh and reassure. This website has given me strength over the years I've been on it, and I hope it continues to help many many more ladies.
Jaki, I am going ok m'dear. Very happy that the temperatures dropped over the last few days. My recent symptoms have been insomnia, varicous veins aching, pelvic area aching at night (think that's the relaxin kicking in, making things softer so I have to turn over from side to side more frequently), and generally feeling knackered. I have struggled with my lack of energy this whole pregnancy. Trying to explain it to DH, apart from the nauseaus 9 weeks, I haven't been 'ill'. So I expect to be able to complete at least half of my usual daily activities..... but no! I'm proud if I stand and do 1 1/2 hours ironing, walk the dog and cook dinner in one day ;-)
It's not long for us now Jaki till our wee boys will be here. Looking forward to meeting him....
As an aside, the biggest topic in our house has been our overseas travel plans in mid May. I don't know if anyone else has done something similar when the wee one is so little, but he could be between 4 1/2 weeks to 8 weeks old roughly. At the time, a long time ago, when we got invited to a wedding in UK it seemed like a great idea. We told friends and family, most importantly DH's mum that we'd be over when the wee one was still little. As time went on I started to worry about the journey, about being out of our environment, about wrecking a routine if we'd managed to form one at all by that point etc etc.
The one thing we didn't consider (and boy do I feel mega stupid now....) was health/vaccinations. Not having been a parent before I didn't think about immune systems etc. Anyway, it was pointed out that maybe we shouldn't be going and that we were putting the little one at risk. The topic of whooping cough came up and all of a sudden it was everywhere, online news article, someone off work with it etc. Spoke to our OB who advised that I would have an element of immunity as I had it when I was 4. He advised us to speak to a paediatrician, so we spoke to 3. Bottom line was personal choice. None warned us strongly against it. All advised careful hygiene esp. on aircraft (how many people wash their hands before eating on an aircraft), explained that there's always a risk, whether you're at the mall or airport. Told us that you can't immunise against everything and babies are not properly immunised agains w/c till their 3rd injection..and even then not 100%. They said plenty of people do it, which I know working in the airline industry, but we're not talking about anyone now...we're talking about our little boy who we've been sooo desperate to bring into this world. To say it was a difficult few days is an understatement. It's predominantly DHs family and friends out there, and I know priority is health, but he and they would be so upset if we said we weren't going.
Anyway, now that I've written war and peace, the outcome is that on the OBs advice we both had the vaccine (you should have it every 10 years anyway.....a lot of folk don't know that either) and it's given with a tetnus and diptheria. It's considered a class B1 drug for pregnant women, which in turn gave me heaps to think about, but as bubba is fully formed, there's little risk, and the docs all recommended it as there is a chance that it could help start bubb's immunisation (not a guarantee though). In addition, anyone who will have a lot of contact with the baby should have it...so our parents were all asked to have it.
DH has told me that although I've agreed to go, I can pull out of trip at any time and it'll be ok. We talked and listened to each other, never got upset and handled well as a couple, but I felt sooo emotional and suddenly realised that it was the first big parenting decision we'd had to make...& he's not even arrived yet!!!! Scary.
I know I've gone on a bit, but there are outbreaks here in Oz, in America and in UK (every 3-4 years there are outbreaks) so I thought I'd pass on our recently acquired knowledge and experience. If anyone has travelled with a bub so young, please give me pointers ;-)
airline, so glad you posted! i've been wondering how you're going We flew when Ash was about 4 or 5 months old. But at 4 or 8 weeks you are probably not going to have a routine and it's actually a good time to travel with them as they are happy to feed, sleep, poo etc and don't need a lot of entertaining or distracting. Just do check on the minimum age, especially for international flights. I am pretty sure they say to wait til the bub is at least 6 or 8 weeks old before flying. I think cos they are so suspectible to germs and all that recycled air etc but not real sure so maybe check that too.
I think the immunisation would be okay, I had my WC done with DS's 6 week vaccine, everyone else got theirs before he arrived (he was born dec 09). Maybe you can get in to have bub's immunisations in the UK?
we are thinking about a tassie trip in sept when bub is 2.5/3 months old, it'll be a whole day travelling from here (two flights and an hour car trip) but i'm more worried about DS than the newborn iykwim.
Remember you'll need to feed the bub or have a dummy for him to suck on during take off and landing to help equalise his ears. You can also ask for the seat with the bassinette in it, and a sling is great for any airport stop overs as well as walking round once you are there cos you don't have to worry about trying to negotiate a crowd with a pram.
That's so good you guys could talk about it like adults! sometimes it's so hard tho.
we are in the midst of figuring out what to do with visitors once bub arrives. My MIL was very very unhelpful and really hurt my feelings when she came when DS was 1 month old so I've said to DH, that i don't want his family here for the first 8 weeks. (it was such a shock as usually i get along really well with them and have always tried to do lots of nice things for them to be included in our lives. i'm still hurt about it 14 months later!)
thinking i was being clever i said, ''how bout we go to them when i'm ready''. But they have just assumed MIL will come to help and instead of setting them straight DH told them on the phone the other night that I don't want that but we'd talk about it and let them know gggrrrr He also added that my mum was coming for the birth to help with DS and it sort of came off sounding really badly... for me! what an evil DIL sort of thing.
He is just no good at saying No to them and i feel like he puts him mum before me... "she'd be hurt so she can come" instead "she'll drive wifey nuts and upset her, she can't come". iykwim. Anyway i can't avoid making a decision as its FIL bday today and we hvae to call and I know it'll come up and FIL can be pretty pushy so will put me on the spot... So any advice on how to deal with this and maintain a good relationship with my DH and my ILs would be appreciated lol.
oh dear long post again!
hi to all my girilies and their babies. Hope everyone is well.
Oh Grub - the IL's!!! What a nightmare. When she says 'coming to help' does that mean staying with you? I can't believe someone would think that's ok. Maybe maybe maybe if it was your mum, but not his. My SIL said she was going to come and stay when I had DS, but I laughed straight away before she even got the chance to take the thought seriously. I said we'd like to figure it out on our own. I think if you can manage to stand up to them, you need to tell them 'no'. Can you just be honest and say that you appreciate the offer of help but will just feel stressed having extra people in the house. Can you get them to help in some other way? Stay in a hotel and come and take your toddler out for day trips??? I don't know - good luck!!!
And thanks for the lovely parenting reminder too. DS has been such a handful lately - exploring his independence and testing boundaries - to put it very nicely. It's so so nice to be reminded how lucky we are and how special they are (although I am reminded every time I look at him really). It's funny how we wish the weeks away throughout pregnancy and then wish them to slow down once they are here.
Airline - you sound like you are getting so close to the end. What a travel dilemma though. Routine-wise I think it would be a great time to travel - as they don't really have much of a routine by that time - it's mostly just sleep, eat, poo, rinse and repeat. Can you put off the decision till bub arrives? Leave the ironing and enjoy your last few weeks of quiet!
Jaki - good luck with all your appointments. Hope there's no surprises there
Mindhugs - Yay for not barfing! How exciting. How did your OB app go?
Kelly - God you must be feeling the weight of those little ones now. I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel any better, but I feel for you so much.
Possums - about the sushi - I think the rice is a big issue as it's a common spot for bacteria to grow. Just ask them when the rice was cooked initially - and go with your gut. Yum - let us know how it tasted - if you do it. Good on you for the hair too - I cut mine off not long ago too. Are you dark or fair?
Hello everyone else. Hope you are enjoying this special time.
AFM - nothing new. Still no movements! Rrraaa. Had a phone call from MIL before to tell me how much she misses her 'other' grandson - not my DS who she hasn't seen in ages, and even then only because I came to her. She went on for about 10 minutes telling me how much she misses him without once asking about my DS or my pregnancy. My SIL is also pg and due at the same time as me - the favouritism is going to be even more obvious with babies the same age. Rrraaa - In laws!!!!
thanks kaybee... did you point out to MIL how your boy is doing? geez that's pretty awful.
yep, stay with us. and last time her idea of helping was that I do all the housework and cleaning and wait on her and SHE cares for DS! to the point where she snuck inot his room after he woke for food, didn't tell me and was taking pics of herself with him etc. wouldn't let me near the bassinette when i was trying to get him out to change him and i had to ask her to move; and even got huffy at me cos i wouldn't let her change him!! i wanted to do it lady! my first baby and i was learning! she was really over bearing and constantly told me "he's fine, don't worry" if i even so much as glanced over to look at him.
anyhoo, yep it would be staying with us and nope, i don't think staying elsewhere would even be considered (they are extremely tight with money). they are at the other end of the country so aren't any help. Not only that, she doesn't 'do' housework, even her own. So if i want/need anything done I have to ask and then show her, even teh washing etc. When ds was born she only cooked dinner once in the 8 days she stayed and that was cos i eventually had to ask. It's just that she doesn't think to, once i ask she's happy to help but i just feel like i shouldn't HAVE to ask. anyhoo, she's useless when it comes to housework - ie can't use a washing machine or a vacuum and is proud of the fact (are you getting that she's pretty eccentric). oh and she refuses to drive in "strange places"; has a terrible sense of direction and is an awful driver - so no way is she putting my child in my car and leaving iykwim. It's a hopeless situaiton. really.
sorry for the rant, it's just upsetting me so much and DH doesn't 'get it'. I think i'm going to have to take the blunt approach. aarggghhh
I would like to qualify all the above that i do actually really like this lady; she adores DS and genuniely has a good heart. She's just a bit in 'her own world' i think and if she knew how i saw her actions I think she'd be really upset that's how she comes across. So it's really hard.
bbbbllllaaaaahhhhh
sorry about the me post. i;ll be better next time.
oh kaybee- i know they say you feel movement sooner with your second, but seriously I struggled til about 21 weeks. it's so frustrating waiting hey!
Oh Grub, I feel for you sweetie. I sort of have the same issues with my IL's as well, when they came to stay after DD was born they were fine and did stuff around the house when I was in hospital as they didn't think that their precious son shoudl have to worry about such things but as soon as I got home and walked in the door with DD that all stopped. All MIL wanted to do was fuss over the baby and FIL sat and watched foxtel all day, here was me with a new baby trying to recover from a c/s and having no help with the washing, dinner etc from them it was DH doing all the running around.
The last time they stayed however for DD's birthday they bought their dog with them - indoor dog - and MIL actually spent more time fussing over the dog than she did with DD so who knows what will happen this time.
This time around I keep stressing to DH that people who come to "stay" when the boys are born are not coming for a holiday they are coming to work. We have just recently set up a housework routine to make life a bit easier for us and I told DH that when his parents stay they will then know what needs to be done around the house.
I'm lucky as my parents live about 30 minutes away and once the IL's go home they will come every day or couple of days to help with the cleaning and cook for us and then my sister is coming from Perth for a couple of weeks once DH has gone back to work to help out as well. My family get the fact that we will need help but with DH's family they see the time as a holiday and even arrange to have their friends come to our house while they are staying for them to catch up without even asking if it is ok first.
thanks kelly. gee that does sound very familiar. yep definite holiday mentality but how rude is that inviting people to your home wihtout asking! My issue with MIL really is the taking over and that she doesn't actually know how to do stuff iykwim. i had to rewash the dishes the two times she washed up so sort of defeats the purpose.
but i like your idea of housework roster. surely they would be better when you have the twins!
my family are the same, they just do it. even my dad sweeps, makes his own breakfast, cleans the fridge out, takes the rubbish out etc and i find with my sister and mother, we do things the same iykwim so i know it's done properly. My SIL is always a great help when she comes too. I just don't want the stress of feeling like a task master or having to check that things are done properly ie poo hasn't been hosed on the toilet wall cos she couldn't figure out how to hose the nappy off without making a mess (and then doesn't bother to clean said mess up! eeeww).
thanks for letting me ramble girls. I do feel better being able to verbalise (so to speak) my worries. it'll make it easier to talk to DH tonight about exactly why i don't want visitors for the first 8 weeks or so. I think i'm just going to stick to my guns and "make" DH back me up/support me iykwim.
i don't like talking about family like this and wouldn't normally as i just feel awful iykwim but at least i'm a little clearer about things in my own head.
Hi ladies im 100% confused but 100% happy too! i went to my IVF specialist today and had another scan and he is saying im 7 weeks and 6 days today which i was told last tues at the other scan i was only 5 weeks and 5 days! but the dates i was given today match up with the original ones so im happy with them the little ones heart beat was 130 today (was 118 last tues) and the DR said everything looks great, so my next scan will be on the 5th of april so hopefully they say im 12 weeks! I am so very excited that this has finally happened for us, i just want the next 4 weeks to come fast.
great news oneday! i think it's a bit like HCG levels in that you may have a test that shows things haven't doubled but if you had the test later in the day, the results would be fine. does that make sense?
and remember they are marking two points on a fuzzy screen and guessing dates from there, so it does depend on the competency of the sonographer.
but that is such great news and i bet you are feeling so wonderful!!!
Thanks grubs! yeah its the best feeling and im starting to finally let my self be excited instead of stressing, i just feel that this is it and everything is going to work out this time xxx
Your stories remind me of the stories my mum used to tell me about my grandmother (her MIL) visiting when I was jut a week old. My grandmother invited herself and a friend of hers to come down and stay for 3 weeks just a couple of days after Mum and I got out of hospital. I was my mum's first child and she felt unable to say no to her MIL but when they arrived the two women just sat around expecting my mum to wait on them hand and foot. My grandmother complained she was "dying" (mind you there was not anything medical diagnosed and she lived another 35 years after this) so she couldn't help cook or clean etc and anytime my mum did anything with me (i.e. change my nappy, burb me etc) my grandmother would say "I could say something, but I won't"... making my mum feel like she must be doing something wrong but with no idea what. My mum got so run down taking care of the two old ladies as well as a newborn that she ended up getting so sick that she lost her milk, as a result I got sick because my mum persisted with trying to breastfeed me but I was starving. After the oldies left my dad had to go interstate for work so mum and I went and stayed with my Dad's cousins who apparently took really good care of us and nursed my mum back to health and took me to a Dr and I was put onto formula and immediately started getting better. So the cousin-in-laws were great but the mother-in-law cost both of us dearly (health-wise).
When I was pregnant with my daughter my mum told me to make sure I never let anyone else make me feel obligated to do more than I felt physically/emotionally capable of.
Goodluck in being strong enough to tell the In Laws (and anyone else who aren't supportive) to stay away.
thanks dreamrise. things didn't go well. that's why i'm up at 3am - bleeting upset while DH sleeps soundly next to me. I feel like hitting him. I don't want to go into anymore details atm. I'm just so hurt and sad and upset i feel like ... well i don't know. crying, again. it seems i don't actually get a say in what I want, so long as MIL and DH are happy... and if i do say it, i'm a beatch, apparently.
are you feeling sweet? whens your next appointment? ooh just wait til you start feeling the movement, it gets so addictive lol.
even the genetic testing and IVF netted nothing for them and yet she's so amazing with my DS and so excited and loves him to death... but I can see their pain that they don't have their own.
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