thanks kelly. gee that does sound very familiar. yep definite holiday mentality but how rude is that inviting people to your home wihtout asking! My issue with MIL really is the taking over and that she doesn't actually know how to do stuff iykwim. i had to rewash the dishes the two times she washed up so sort of defeats the purpose.

but i like your idea of housework roster. surely they would be better when you have the twins!

my family are the same, they just do it. even my dad sweeps, makes his own breakfast, cleans the fridge out, takes the rubbish out etc and i find with my sister and mother, we do things the same iykwim so i know it's done properly. My SIL is always a great help when she comes too. I just don't want the stress of feeling like a task master or having to check that things are done properly ie poo hasn't been hosed on the toilet wall cos she couldn't figure out how to hose the nappy off without making a mess (and then doesn't bother to clean said mess up! eeeww).

thanks for letting me ramble girls. I do feel better being able to verbalise (so to speak) my worries. it'll make it easier to talk to DH tonight about exactly why i don't want visitors for the first 8 weeks or so. I think i'm just going to stick to my guns and "make" DH back me up/support me iykwim.

i don't like talking about family like this and wouldn't normally as i just feel awful iykwim but at least i'm a little clearer about things in my own head.