Grub, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time at the moment with your DH not understanding and supporting you. I think you mentioned that your SIL has been great is she from that side of the family (in which case perhaps you could discuss your concerns with her and ask her to speak to your MIL)?
The last thing you need is to get run down and sick from "looking after" other people when you have a newborn. You said that when you asked she did do one or two things...perhaps writing a list of the things you think she could do to help (i.e. clothes washing etc) and tell your DH that he should give the list to his mother if she was to come and stay and he should be responsible for making sure she is there to lighten your load not make more work for you... put it back on him. I would also insist that they stay for a shorter time period so that if it doesn't work out you won't get as run down.
thanks dreamrise didn't manage to get to sleep til about 6.40am... got about 90 mins before DS was calling out.
I ended up briefly speaking to dh about 5am and asked we have a chat NOT a fight. so we'll see how that goes. oxox
grub- so sorry to hear of all the stress you are under at the moment and i can totally understand where you are coming from with the inlaws...and that is a strain you dont need with a newborn. I think too it can be so very hard getting our partners to truly understand how things affect us and how their actions, or lack of, can be so hurtful. I dont have a close relationship with my inlaws at all...I tried for a long time and then my MIL did some very hurtful things...I expected DH to defend me and speak up but he just told me to let it go, which I found hurtful. Anyway, I hope you can work through it all, because being awake in the night upset and angry is not good. DH and I have had a few heated arguments lately due to some external factors causing stress and he always manages to sleep, while i stay awake and upset! I hope things are a bit better today
oneday- awesome news!! very reassuring for you ...yay
kaybee- your inlaws sound very annoying and that kind of favouritism would be annoying. I have come to accept it with my MIL. My SIL has two kids, and i expect them to keep getting all the attention, which at this point is ok with me. hope you feel movement soon!
airline- how have you gone sorting your travel dilemma? I guess if you take precautions and check all requirements /rules etc thats the most you can do. It's good you and DH were able talk it all through
kelly- hope you are holding up ok
hi everyone else!
afm- all going well...loving being pregnant and heard the heartbeat again today. was just experiencing quite sharp pain on one side though...maybe just ligaments stretching?
thanks possums we're having that chat this arvo. I've written down my thoughts to try and get things straight and not get all crazy. I do really think it's about the lack of support from DH that is really bugging me iykwim.
Hey, i'm so glad you are enjoying the pregnancy now! and yippee for heartbeat 'eavesdropping'. I just love that sound and I always grin like a big bafoon lol. that sucks about your MIL but maybe it's a small blessing in disguise iykwim in that she won't be over cramping your style and smothering you to death; pushing you out of the way etc to get to bubs. Still, I can't imagine anyone doing that, it's pretty awful. hope you and DH are also able to talk things out. it's certainly a testing time.
i'm supposed to be having a sleep atm as DS is having his arvo nap but as you pointed out possums, i just can't switch off. the reflux doesn't help either lol.
Yiipppeee it's raining and cool so at least i'm not sweating like a pig for a change!
hope all our girlies are well and our new mummies, would love if you popped in to let us know how you are trundling ox
grub- writing things down is a great way to get things clear in your mind, i often do that too...or sometimes DH and I actually exchange emails at work after an argument the night before...we are both cooled down and can express our points more clearly in writing sometimes. best of luck. I know what you mean about wanting to feel supported and understood by your DH on these things. and men and women tend to approach and process things so differently!
I am still experiencing sharp pain on my right hand side, quite low down. mmmm i am now reading online about round ligament pain, which it definitely could be. I had just been walking on the treadmill at the gym and lay down to stretch and as I was getting up I felt the pain...it's in a similar area to ovarian pain.
i meant to say in my post that those pains are normal. I get them all the time still, even with my 2nd so soon after my first! sometimes they take my breathe away.
so long as they are shrap and short, don't worry. If it's they continue and don't go away that you should worry.
mine feel like someone has stabbed me low down, just above the pubic line. I get it on either side and in the middle... i get it a lot when I stand up too quickly (it's like a spasm), take too big a step, get out of the car one leg at a time ggrrr and hwen i swim- the stretching out of your body for freestyle seems to cause them to 'pull'.
it can be very very ouchy and if you don't realise what they are, very concerning.
I'd say if you were laying down to stretch and then got up and got 'attacked' it's almost certainly them
but as with anything if you are worried, ask your middy or doc - better your mind at ease and safe then worrying yourself silly.
ox
thanks Grub! before getting your reply I did call the clinic and they told me thats what it would be. It really did take my breath away for a while and was pretty intense, then backed off and wasnt as severe. And yep, was laying down to stretch and pulled one knee up at a time to stretch and rolled over and that's when it suddenly seemed to strike. It hurts still when i get up and walk around the office but isnt as severe...and the area is a bit sore when i rub it too...do you get that also? thanks for sharing. love this site for these type of things!
just had make up sex so might be a bit ditzy with the post
as you can probably tell, our talk went really well. A lot he "wasn't aware of" or "didn't realise" and of course some was just me being hormonal and for over-thinking/stewing on things. A bit of communication goes a long way and we always say afterwards "we should have just talked days ago" but ... well you know how it is. Plus men are so dumb and unaware!
anyway. bottom line is we are much better and i should actually be able to sleep tonight! plus he let me order in pizza and pasta (my fave) as peace offering. MIL is probably going to come in August under the supervision of DH and the understanding that when and if i need time out, i'll get it. he'll also lay down the law in helping out and has promised to be more supportive generally.
One of the ladies from my playgroup told me today it took her husband years to cut that umbilical chord and support her and her needs over his mums. It really made me wonder what sort of man i'll raise. I'd hate to think i'd do this to someone else, but then my MIL isn't really aware of how upset i was or why and would probably be horrified.
anyway, it's funny how you seem to go from 'end of the world/down in the dumps bad' to taking a major leap in your relationship.
And yep, possums, that writing helped me gather my thoughts
My MIL lives in Scotland so yay me! Hehe. She does text me ALOT but it's cause she is so excited about the baby. Altho the blank texts in the middle of the night are annoying.
My FIL on the other hand is a total so and so! I won't even get into that one!!!
Just thought I'd chime in so y'all knew I was still around.
Hey ladies i have a personal question to ask, grubs kind of set me off lol. DH and i havnt had sex for about 3 months! because i never do it around a cycle just in case and then cause iv been preg, i feel terrible! is not so bad on my behalf cause i dont even feel like it now the reason im like this is because with my very first cycle DH did it about a week into the 2ww and i started to bleed, when i did a POAS the next day i had a faint 2nd line after a low HCG reading from a BT the nurse said it was prob a chemical preg but i blammed my self for loosing it because we had sex. I just dont want to risk anything as this is the most important thing to us but i just feel im not goint to feel comfortable doing it the whole way through the preg ??????
Oneday: I think what you are feeling is totally normal about DTD, especially when you have that first sticky bubba in there as well. When I was pregnant with DD, DTD was the last thing on my mind and if I remember correctly I think we did it like twice in the whole pregnancy - the first time being around 12 weeks. This time around I have felt differently in myself and also DH hasn't had that same concern that he might do "damage" but now it has got to the stage where I am just too big and uncomfortable to be even able to think about things like that. You will know how you feel throughout the pregnancy and hopefully you have a supportive DH who is happy to just wait to see how you feel and trust me once you get into the second tri and your hormones start to kick in you might find yourself almost jumping your DH everytime you see him.
Grub: So happy you got everything sorted out, it goes to show how different men really are to us women. They need to have things pointed out to them as they just don't seem to be able to see what is going on around them most of the time and you make a good point that it really makes you look at the type of man you will raise.
Jaki: Happy waiting paitiently. Hopefully your little man won't keep you waiting too long.
Possums: Gotta love Round Ligament Pain, this time around it is so much worse than the first time and can be really painful. I generally find I have the pain more at the end of the day and if I sneeze when it is spasming it can almost have me in tears. Just another of those wonderful pregnancy symptoms we all have to go through unfortunately.
Well I had my GD test this morning and hopefully everthing will be all ok when I get the results next week, I'm so addicted to chocolate at the moment that I don't know if I could cope without it..... Oh and my little scarred belly button has popped out now (this didn't happen with DD) but it is only a little bit as all the laproscopy scars will hold it mostly in place. I have also noticed that the area around my belly button is very tender to touch and if I happen to lean against something and it presses that area it is painful, these boys better come out angels now after all the pain and suffering I am going through for them...lol....
Grub- way to go! so pleased to read your happy post and that things have been resolved so well...it is amazing how much a good talk without arguing can help clear the air. DH and I had one of those on the weekend too.
oneday- i think its normal too! our sex life has dropped right off to be honest during the whole TTC journey, pregnancies, losses, IVF etc have all had an impact. I guess during this pregnancy we have had sex every now and then and thats all. Talk to your DH about it though, we are pretty open and that helps i think
kelly- your belly sounds sore- you are right, you better have two little darlings in there! ;-) thanks for also reassuring me about the round ligament pain...I am still tender today on the right, but it's backed right off. do you find if you press gently on the area it is sore to the touch? I am just relieved to know its a normal pregnancy thing and not anything I have done wrong or anything wrong with our little one.
best of luck with your GD results- I hope you can continue enjoying that chocolate, you need some treats right now!
jaki- hopefully not too much more waiting for you
afm- slept in today, no morning walk for the dogs, just felt i needed to rest up a bit after yesterday's severe ligament pain. I am still quite tender in that area and it hurts a little when walking around, but nowhere near as sharp as yesterday. And yes Kelly...i did sneeze during the worst of it and it had be doubled over for a while!
I was telling DH how I thought i was already experiencing a bit of ligament pain, with the odd twinges and pulls I was feeling. Clearly I had no idea, lol
Mum and I are off to sydney (where I grew up in 'the Shire') on friday for a long weekend to catch up with friends, see a show etc. We hardly go down anymore, and am looking forward to it. My best friend there also has a 4 month old and I havent seen her baby since she was a few days old, so looking forward to that. It's so much easier seeing friends with babies now, than during those long TTC years.
And my midwife said I can pop in again next week to hear the heartbeat if I like...well, yes! Grub, just like you said I lay there grinning like an idiot, it's so wonderful.
possums, not long after i posted about the ligament pain, I was attacked too! ggrr. yep kelly i reckon it's worse in the arvo and usually happens when i *shock* *horror* stand up. then i walk around hunched over holding my belly going "ow, ow, ow" and you know what dh says "you okay wifey?" ... gggrrr Not poo brain, it hurts! hahhaah
LOL the sex thing. When i was on this thread when preg with DS in 2009 one of the girls shared what her husband said about sex and pregnancy: "It's like humping a camel" - do you remember that kelly! it was barney's hubby, coops.
anyhoo we do it pretty regularly still. some weeks more, some less. I do it mainly out of wifely duty iykwim. But i'm finding it more and more uncomfortable. we did it regularly with DS as well. His thang, unless you are married to inspector gadget, doesn't go anywhere near the baby or such (there is that whole s bend thing lol) so we were never worried about hurting bubs or causing anything. Unless you were really rough or have some other issue and your doc told you not to, it's safe and YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HURT THAT pregnancy.
my main issue atm with it is i feel very sore afterwards. you know things... aaahhheeemm... swell ... with pregnancy and then all that extra blood and the extra blood that flows there with sex, it was really really really uncomfy last night. i just find i get a very uncomfy throbbing sort of feeling... sorry TMI lol but we'er all friends hahaahah.
oh dear kel, that would be terrible if you had GD on top of carrying twins ... and then being told to lay off the choc!!! a woman has to have her chocolate! good luck hun.
possums - get all the sleep ins you can. i know, everyone says that and it gets annoying... but unfortunately it's so true!!!
Jaki! shouldn't you be off having a baby by now?? lol. I can't remember your due date but i know it's very soon, so good luck hun!!!
omg i slept so well last night and so did Ashton he did 7pm to 7.30am for me (well he woke at 7am and now plays quietly in his cot -i put some toys there for him last week - til mummy can tear her eyes open and get him lol. if i'm really tired, he'll wait til 8.30am before screaming blue murder)
well talked about sex, talked about sore lady bits, gloated about sleep... must go now
grocery shopping calls .... *must not go past bakery* *must not go past bakery* *must not go past bakery* *must not go past bakery* *must not go past bakery* *must not go past bakery* *must not go past bakery* *must not go past bakery* *must not go past bakery* *must not go past bakery*
Hey everyone. Sorry haven't posted much this week. We have some big money probs that are finally starting to sink in, so it's been hectic to say the least. Figuring out what to do so we don't lose our house. I tell ya I am so in love with my baby already, but it financially broke us getting to this point!!!
Grubs - MIL. Yes, well don't get me started on that one. This is my 2nd marriage and I was blessed with 2 horrors both times. Both of them Virgo mums in their late 60's. I'm a Virgo too - hell don't tell me I'm going to be like them!!! Argh!!! Actually me and current MIL finally bonded during all my miscarriages, operations and grief etc. Over the phone cause she's in the Margaret River, which helps. Glad you and DH have bandied together and sorted out a plan of attack. And let's be honest, make up sex is ALWAYS good!!!
Possums - you have better monitoring of your pregnancy where you are than I do!!! Must be comforting hearing that heathy strong heartbeat. And guess what - I'm a SHIRE girl too!!! Ha ha ha! You'll have to PM me your name in case we know each other. I'm a year older than you. We know how insular that place is!!! Wouldn't it be funny if we went to the same High School? I'm getting those round ligament pains too sista! I pulled a muscle just rolling over in bed the other night!
Kelly - glad everything went well. Hoe into as much chocolate as you need and enjoy.
Oneday - we've sustained as well. Our acupuncturist told us to not think of doing it in the 1st tri, and now we're past that I have a low lying placenta and I'm too scared we might knock it and make it bleed!!! It's just awful isn't it?
AFM - Had my appt wih OB on Monday. He was as serious and as cold as I was warned. But he def knows his stuff. Saw bubs and heard heartbeat which was a relief as always. Bad news is he wants me on Clexane injections daily until birth. God I hate Clexane - it's a painful needle. Last night I had a half hour panic attack leading up to injection time. I don't have blood clotting issues but because I have high rheumatoid factor, a series of miscarriages coupled with IVF treatment he told me it was imperative. And more bad news - I have to have a CS and there is no way out of it!!! I did suspect I might be told this due to all the scar tissue inside and out of my uterus, but still. Blah, CS, Clexane and money problems - can it all just go away?? Please??? Can you hear me angels? I want a break here already!!!!
OH my goodness girls.... I'm so tired after reading and catching up...that to post individually would just knock me for six!
However, whoever asked the sex question....do what you feel comfortable with. I think for us all to get to this point of being pregnant with our dreambaby, we'll do anything to protect it. I felt so nauseaus so that meant no sex for about 2 months, but I did the odd 'favour' for DH to help him cope and bless him he never asked or pressured me, so I'd surprise him....think he appreciated that even more! ;-) 2nd trim I got some mojo back, and 3rd trim is more about 'going south' hee hee.
Jaki...I'm hearing you girl!! you're only 2 days ahead of me, (YEH, our bubbas will no longer be classed as premmies!!) my tummy hurts when I turn from side to side at night...and last 2 days, geez the fatigue!!!!!! got up had shower, got dressed - knackered.
OB told me 2/5 engaged in pelvis...probably more when I stand up
Starting to think about the birth............................................. ......................I'll let you all into a secret. I have no birth plan. Nope, no bullet points nothing like that. I have read about so many girls going in and it all going outta the window, and so DH knows that I would like to try gas and air (cos if you don't have it from the beginning it doesn't work half way through), and like the idea of being in the bath/shower but that's it. I will be guided by the midwives....who from what I can gather are not pro c-section, or epidural etc and discover what my pain threshold is...find out how my little boy feels about making his own way into the world, and if he needs some help, then medically I'll be helped. Ooooh I feel a bit of relief putting that down in black & white on here. Very odd for me by the way as I am a HUGE planner, have to know what/how/when etc I am doing things....so this is a big change for me.
oh grub you poor love. Doesn't sound cut and dried with MIL, seeing as you like her but she's such a thoughtless person. great to have make up sex though!!! xx
Last edited by airline; March 9th, 2011 at 02:06 PM.
airline - i didn't write a birth plan or talk to my ob about what i wanted etc for DS. nor with any midwife. I tried to keep an open mind with the view that epidural would be my last resort for pain medication (i was super scared of that huge needled lol).
we read juju sundin's birth skills book (dh read it to which made a huge difference) and that was our guide. we'll be re-reading it again soon.
i hired a tens machine; decided that i'd probalby use gas but that DH was to dial it right down to start and very gradually increase it; and we used the shower (omg that was so nice and is so effective). It took a bit to use the gas correctly with your breathing etc.
when I had got up to the highest air/gas mix; the tens machine was discarded somewhere and I was nearly sitting on the shower head - i called for that big scary needle... but NOPE wasn't allowed as i was 9.5cm and the pushing party was about to begin! i couldn't believe it cos i always thought "it'll get worse".
that was a great mentality to have - i didn't know that at the time of course - that "oh, its going to get worse so better conserve my resources and draw on my own strength". Mind you, i wouldn't have liked to take my gas off me... dh reckoned he would have had to stand on my face to get the sucky-tube thing outta my mouth lol.
now i KNOW what's coming this time... so that's what's got me worried. Ignorance is bliss lol. But i think the fact that i don't know what i'm having is going to be a big inspiration.
Thanks so much for your help ladies i think i will just take it as it comes and see how i feel, DH is understanding and also dosn't want to do it before the 12 week mark so im glad we are on the same page. The past 2 weeks i have been really nauseas and i few times i have come close to vomiting but thank godness that hasn't happened yet, i hate it but in a way im glad i have it so i know everything is ok with the preg and im hungry ALL THE TIME! its crazy. I cant wait till im upto where you guys are with a big belly and feel the bub kick
didn't manage to get to sleep til about 6.40am... got about 90 mins before DS was calling out.
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now the reason im like this is because with my very first cycle DH did it about a week into the 2ww and i started to bleed, when i did a POAS the next day i had a faint 2nd line after a low HCG reading from a BT the nurse said it was prob a chemical preg but i blammed my self for loosing it because we had sex. I just dont want to risk anything as this is the most important thing to us but i just feel im not goint to feel comfortable doing it the whole way through the preg
- do you remember that kelly! it was barney's hubby, coops.
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