Grub, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time at the moment with your DH not understanding and supporting you. I think you mentioned that your SIL has been great is she from that side of the family (in which case perhaps you could discuss your concerns with her and ask her to speak to your MIL)?

The last thing you need is to get run down and sick from "looking after" other people when you have a newborn. You said that when you asked she did do one or two things...perhaps writing a list of the things you think she could do to help (i.e. clothes washing etc) and tell your DH that he should give the list to his mother if she was to come and stay and he should be responsible for making sure she is there to lighten your load not make more work for you... put it back on him. I would also insist that they stay for a shorter time period so that if it doesn't work out you won't get as run down.

Good luck

Lori
DD - 14