Thought I would weigh into the debate on sleep - controlled crying v's attachment parenting.
With my daughter (who is now 14). I had her sleep in a bassinet in my room until she was too big and had to move to a cot (I think around 3 months). Then she moved to her own room which was right next door to mine. I was breast-feeding and working part-time so I found having her in my room was convienent as I could stumble out of bed to feed her and put her back in her bassinet and go back to sleep without losing alot of sleep. I could never do (as some of my friends have) and actually co-sleep because I actually don't sleep well when sharing a bed (even when it was with my only live-in partner). But I know some people say it is easier because you can just roll over, feed bub and then roll back to sleep! I would be worried though about how you then move on from that. I know a few women who have co-slept until the child was 2years old and then had major problems trying to get the child into their own bed and room.
I did have trouble with her still not sleeping through the night at 6 months so at that stage I went to a "sleep clinic" where they advocated controlled crying and also more of a routine (until that stage we had no set routine as it suited me to just go with the flow and I could adapt her routine to suit what was going on. Also if she got tired she learnt to just sleep (daytime sleeps) wherever we were.) Anyway I did follow their advice and it did work and soon she was sleeping through the night. It's not as awful as it sounds as you only leave them to cry for a couple of minutes and gradually build it up but it gives the baby a chance to learn to settle themselves.
Anyway when my ex was pregnant we discussed issues like attachment parenting and controlled crying and seemed to both be on the same wave length in terms of thinking that the children we had seen who were raised with attachment parenting had alot of issues as young children and we didn't want that. My daughter has always been a very easy going kid but also quite independent and I really appreciate this. Anyway we had my exes son sleep in our room in a bassinet for the first few months and then in his own room in a cot. We used controlled crying fairly successfully early on but as our relationship started to break down she started using him as an emotional crutch for her own needs and started following more of an attachment parenting approach. the moment he cried she would pick him up and then use that as an excuse to never do anything around the house. We split up when he was 9 months old and when she moved into her own place she moved his cot into her bedroom - right up against her bed and soon it progressed to him co-sleeping with her. His behaviour got worse and he became more demanding as well and I wonder which was the chicken and which was the egg if you get what I mean. I found it quite difficult to look after him as I had never experienced a 10 month old throwing a terrible 2's temper tantrum before if he didn't immediately get whatever he wanted.
Maybe he would have been just as bad no matter what parenting approach had been used with him but it certainly made it hard for me with trying to concieve as I started to wonder how I would cope if I gave birth to a child like him.
I think my feeling now is that every child is unique and some will respond better or worse to different parenting styles and it's sort of up to the parent to work out what is best for their child. However I strongly believe that it is important to look at what is best for your child and not to take a certain approach because it feeds your emotional needs (like my ex with her son). Of course it has to work for you too and if you are someone who needs some degree of space then you will struggle to co-sleep for example, similarly if you are someone who craves affection it might be difficult to have baby in a different room so there might be some compromise needed but I do believe a baby shouldn't be used to fill a void in your life.
My plan at this stage is to raise this bub with the same sort of parenting style that I used with my daughter - because I'm really happy with the way she has turned out! LOL So I will have the bassinet in my bedroom but I will also use the controlled crying approach as bub gets a bit older.
By the way we just found out today my daughter has been accepted into a fairly exclusive private school. I couldn't believe how many hoops we had to jump through just to get her in (academic test, artistic test, 2 interviews, countless phone calls...) anyway she starts next term. I hope she finds it okay. Will be quite a shock to the system for both of us with her not being home schooled any more (I've done it for only 9 months but both of us had been enjoying it and she had managed to skip ahead a year level because of it) and also with her socialising with the "rich kids"! My parents are paying all the costs. If I'd been offered the money rather than them paying I would probably have used it to cut 30% off my morgage but it was never an offer of the money - just the offer of them paying to ensure she gets a good education... so hopefully it will turn out well.
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