yeah to that above lol.... now one novel coming up!
It's so hard cos they have their own quirks and such. With DS he slept in a bassinette next to us for about 3 weeks but we were keeping him awake... and he was keeping us awake (babies make the strangest noises and as the mumma you are finely tuned into your bub... you can be out cold and the bub goes squeak and before your eyes are open they are up in your arms... seriously! I once walked into the bedroom door cos ash cried out and i was up before i had even woken!!! dh laughed himself silly at that one pft)
So we moved him to his own room just near us and with a sensor monitor (i was very very paranoid so found it comforting to wake up and 'check' his breathing with the monitor). At about 9 weeks he went into his cot, i just put a muslin wrap on the open side (the side that didn't have a wall or bookcase etc) so he felt a little contained... he eventually started reaching for his wrap and it is now his very much loved Sooky Rag lol).
We had a difficult time feeding so co sleeping to feed wasn't our thing. Plus I just didn't sleep well and DH was worried he'd hurt ash or me. ONe of my friends tho has bought a cot that attaches to her side of the bed... so bub is in it's own space but she can just slide the baby out for night feeds. For us, I didn't mind getting up and sitting in the chair in Ash's room to feed him. You have hormones when BF that make you both sleepy so it was easy to go back to bed after (only about 20 mins usually). But if co sleeping works for you and your partner then go with it! it's certainly easier and you get more sleep!
As for sleeping etc The best advice I can give is be flexible and don't watch the clock ie it's 4 hrs, baby is asleep but hte book says he/she should be feeding OMG i'm going to stress that bub will starve!!! lol.
I preferred to use a Pattern rather than a routine when ash was small. Cos they won't go to bed at 7pm like you want, it may be a 6pm bed and then 10pm up for food. So we implemented a pattern in the arvo.... he'd have a sleep, we'd have dinner, when he woke he'd have a feed, we'd go for a walk and he'd have a play, then a bath, then a feed and then bed. Soemtimes this was at 5pm sometimes at 9pm depeneding on when he woke from his arvo sleep. Now he's older we are more set to time... but that's because he turns into a pumpkin (a very cranky one) at 7.05pm lol. And again, it was him who just decided he'd like to go to bed at 7pm.
Also the day/night thing bugs mum said is wonderful. During the day I made the house bright and noisy and we played a lot (well i play and he watched). He'd sleep out in his bassinette or on the floor or in his rocker or pram or wherever with all the noise and light etc... but at night, his room was quiet, and dark except for a night light. I'd hum to him when dressing for bed and massage him. During night feeeds I'd never talk to him but unlike some recommend I would look at him and smile (cos i love him!). Everything was calm and quiet at night. He soon figured out bed time was bedtime... ie boring time.
We got inot a nasty habit around 7 months of rocking him off the sleep all the time. in the end my already bad back just wasn't up for it. I'd use a fit ball and bounce ash off to sleep while watching nearly silent tv and then put him to bed. This was fine with me while he was teething, or sick and really needed that comfort but it became a habit and he wouldn't settle. So we got to crunch time one day and iniaitied some bedtime routines... ie food, bath, feed, bed. But we also added in some sleep cues ie the song ie Twinkle Twinkle; being put in his sleeping bag; given dummy and sooky; and being told "it's sleeping time, nite nite". Even now, we still do those same cues... on the change table, dummy, sooky, offer a drink of water, twinkle twinkle, nite nite and unless he poos, he goes to sleep every time!
We did do some controlled crying but i loathe that term and its implications. We had a video monitor and could basically see our son manipulating us to going inot his room. His cry was blue murder, his body language was quite the opposite. Once we saw what he was actually doing we could address it. So we'd go in lay him down (not pick up not talk or anything) and walk back out. let him go for a few mins then repeat, etc If it went on for more than 20 mins, we'd check nappy, offer something to drink and start again. It took us 3 days and he has self settled himself ever since... I think he was about 7 or 8 months. Before that age they are truly too young for much routine etc but they do like a pattern ie knowing what's coming and what's expected.
But after saying all that, at the time it was hard and confusing. Personally I didn't like Save our Sleep's tone and I also didn't like Pinky Makay's sleep book either (too airy fairy for my taste, which will probably get me shot on BB cos she's like a god here lol). So I just took a bit from each and figured out our own way and that is all anyone can really do.
Make sure you join a new mum's group cos everyone will be going through what you are and it's so helpful to have someone understand.
Look, I'm certainly no authority and we flew by the seat of our pants ... heck we still are! but that's some things i've learnt. I am expecting this new bub to be completely different so will have to relearn everything lol. At the end of the day you are just not going to be prepared no matter how much advice you seek or books you read, nothing can truly get you ready for the arrival of a new baby!!! It's such a huge change! The biggest thing I struggled with was my loss of independence, this child relied on me to live and as i was BF i felt extremely caged in and tied down... but that went away and now i can't bear to be away from my little mate.
Oh and one great quote to remember: "This too shall soon pass" Cos what worked one week won't the next!!!
And we didn't know how to change a nappy or hold a baby before DS either! within a week we were pros!
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