BW - you have a lot going on in your mind -- I can imagine this is very hard! I hope you can find a way to think about this one step at a time. I don't have any advice, but I do want to tell you that I had to attend a counseling session at a new clinic yesterday and they made a specific point of saying that the "age risk" (for lack of a better term) is measured based on how old you were at time of embryo pick-up. So you could wait 4 years, and the age factor they will consider will be the age you were last year. In fact, they mentioned freezing embryos at a younger age as one method of preserving fertility. I think that although there are other things that age can impact, these are of much less significance that the age of your eggs. So maybe this will help you tell yourself that you can give yourself some time before making any decisions. Also, clinics will extend time they will store your frozen embryos. I believe this requires paying some additional fees and notifying them in writing - so speak to them about this if you are interested.

I may be missing something because you mention an 18 month cut-off...