Why do LTTTCers seem to prefer a c/s?

[sushee]

I think that Jennifer, you make such a great observation - most IVFers do end up using an ob. And using an ob usually equals higher rates of intervention. BW, you make an even more pertinent point - I remember too being pregnant and refusing to buy anything for baby until I was well past 20 weeks. For many IVFers, planning for baby, let alone birth earlier than that is almost taboo, isn't it? Which then makes the time to think and plan for birth even shorter.

So what do we try to overcome first? The 'disconnection' women feel from their pregnancy early on? I'd love to know how. I have regular had conversations with pg LTTTCers who are so anxious in the first half of their pgs that they virtually become recluses, refusing to talk about their pgs because it all feels too fragile to discuss freely or feeling stuck between being happy at their good fortune and guilt that the many women they have loved and supported have not been as lucky.

I know when I was newly pg, what I really would have appreciated was someone telling me what I was feeling so damned normal for an LTTTCer. It is such a common thing for LTTTCers to feel! But when I participated in the PGALTTTC threads, everyone talked about anxiety, yes, or scans and ob visits, but no one spoke about how damaged emotionally and psychologically we'd become as a result of the process of being LTTTC (and let me qualify - not all LTTTCers feel this way, but I did and I know many women do).

Since having Charlie this is something I've tried to address. First with the social group, but whle the group has had some amazing conversations, I've still felt that there is this MASSIVE area of support missing - and that's for those post-LTTTC.

What would help PALTTTC and Parenting after LTTTC women grapple with their isolation? And assist them towards doing the research, making the decisions, learning to find control over their bodies again? I don't know if there is an easy answer to hose questions. It's all I've been thinking about for days now.

Also wanted to also address a few things:

Firstly while I have focussed the issue of a lack of support for birth choices/BFing for LTTTCers specifically, I personally have appreciated all the comments and posts from those who are not LTTTC but care enough about women in general to wish to help contribute their ideas.

Secondly, I hope this thread speaks not just to LTTTCers who have 'graduated' but assists those still TTCing to recognise and acknowledge these issues long before they 'graduate'. In that respect, I'm thrilled that someone like dusty has posted, which shows she's thinking about these issues now, and it becomes less taboo in the long run.

Thirdly, scooby, I know I seemed to come down hard on words like 'ridicule and 'forcing' but it's because I've seen sooooo many threads started with the best of intentions degenerate to slagging threads about c/s vs VB, or BFing vs FFing. It's gotten so that members become almost too scared to mention any of those things, yet if we don't talk about these things, the information doesn't get out there, and women feel yet more isolated and uninformed.

I understand it's an emotive topic, so emotive in fact that it's getting to be that if you try to talk about VB being safer, or BFing being better for baby (and these are facts supported by evidence, true even if you're not trying to be pro-anything) you're almost gauranteed someone is going post something that will start to skew the topic into yet another us vs them scenario, whether intentionally or not. And yet when I speak about IVFers, I don't see any 'us and them', to me, we're all 'us' and I want the kind of support and services that is best for 'us'.

Before I started this thread, I told myself I wasn't going to let this thread become divided and angry. It's about finding solutions, not persecuting anyone's choices. So I'm nipping it in the bud early. I completely understand Nixon and your posts, they are legitimate opinions, based on experiences here or elsewhere. They are just off-topic for this thread, and I am requesting that everyone stay on topic so that this thread doesn't become a c/s vs VB thread. So it's all good, hun. I'm just being extra fussy about that, is all.