I've just had what can only be described as an odd day, and I'm really wondering if the way I'm feeling about it all comes from having taken so long to get pregnant, me being some sort of horrible snob, lack of sleep (3 leg cramps and 2 toilet trips last night coupled with awful heat) or whether it's just plain normal.

I guess the background to all this is that we've only told people online Munchkin's gender. I slipped up with one friend (made a comment that I thought was subtle, but wasn't subtle enough when said friend is an OB and I'm talking about how easily Munchkin revealed his gender on scans!), and I may have slipped with others, but they are choosing to ignore it.

I've got friends and students madly doing all they can to find out what we're having. Why do people get like that, anyway? We've had people from church offer to lend us stuff (another issue entirely!) expressed as "I'm not trying to find out what you're having but we've got boxes and boxes of girls clothes that you're quite welcome to if you want". You just can't respond!

Today we went to visit SIL... to go through baby stuff and see if there's anything we wanted... I was of course feeling really quite hesitant as SIL has one boy and one girl and I felt like I couldn't accept anything without revealing gender... However she was good and really only offered us gender-neutral clothing.

But... she offered us a chair/rocker type thing, which has been sitting in storage for years and was quite dirty. Metal buckles had gone rusty, and sure, you could clean it up, but... I really didn't want it, and felt quite bad for saying so. There were a few other beaten up toys and things. Then we moved to clothes... There was some quite good stuff in what she gave us that I would have no hesitation in using for Munchkin. I have no real issues with hand-me-down clothing (I had lots of them as a child, anyway!), but I do have issues if they are worn, faded, stained, etc.

Am I being snobbish for not wanting to put my baby in clothing that's been stained by someone else's child? Sure, I know Munhckin's going to plant his fair share of stains on clothes, but...

And then there's the whole "my boy slept in pink sleep suits, he's in bed, nobody will see him, who cares?!"... Um, I care! I felt the same when MIL offered me the dress that she brought all of her children home from hospital in (three boys, one girl). SIL used it for her two... But I'm sitting here thinking there's no way in HELL my son will be put in a dress, a pink sleep suit nor even a pink singlet underneath his outer clothes! I'll see him and I care!

No, I don't want my child using a second hand rocker, baby bath, etc!

Am I some sort of horrible, priggish snob?

Or am I having the normal reaction of someone who has been through LTTTC?

Or is it just a normal reaction and something that it seems my MIL and SIL are the only people on the planet incapable of understanding?

It's taken us two and a half years to conceive Munchkin, and it's been two and a half years of absolute hell with OHSS and miscarriages and other associated crap that comes with IVF. I want him to have nice things! I'm not going overboard and insisting on only one particular colour/theme. I also thought I was avoiding the gender stereotyping and going for things with animals rather than cars and trucks, etc. Sure, there's a lot of blue in there, but we also have brown, orange, red, green, yellow - the brighter the better! I seriously doubt I'd have bought much pink even if we were having a girl (I'm allergic to pink and frills, I'm sure!) - because I want to avoid gender stereotyping my child... so why am I reacting to pink sleep suits and singlets and special going home "dresses"?

I'm not sure where I'm going with this now, but I'm almost feeling like an ungrateful wretch with snobbishly expensive taste... But I'm seriously uncomfortable about some of the stuff that has been offered to us, and I really need to know if this is normal for someone having been through LTTTC and IVF, or whether it's just plain normal and my in-laws are strange, miserly freaks!

BW