Hi all

I just stumbled on this thread, and have managed to read all of it although my eyes are now feeling like this !

DH and I are hoping and trying to prepare as much as we can for a VB. I'm also trying to keep an open mind, as I don't want to feel like a failure if I don't get the birth I want... But we have bought the Pink Kit and are working through that, and DH heard about this thing called Epi-No which we bought (it kind of makes me laugh, but I'll try anything). We've discussed with our Ob that we really really want a natural birth.

But the fact that we have chosen to go with an Ob in the first place already has medicalised our pregancny and birth more than going with regular midwife or birth centre care (I guess?). I actually would really prefer to be birthing in a birth centre, or even a part water birth. But being an IVFer and also being on Clexane for Factor V Leiden, I felt like I needed more continuity of care. I wanted to see the same person every visit and also someone very knowledgable. I wasn't sure I would get this as I heard with a birth centre you will see whoever is on the day you visit for a checkup.

Its true you leave your IVF clinic in such a fragile and scared state - is this baby going to stick around? am I going to miscarry? You want someone to 'hold your hand' so to speak. But I agree that this is where some kind of support group or service would be invaluable. Somewhere where we can also find out what our options are. I had been advised by my FS to go with an Ob, and I didn't even know how to find out if I was eligable for a Birth Centre model. Its also so hard to book in with an Ob of choice even at 7 weeks when you are still grappling with the idea of being pregnant, you feel slightly ridiculous booking an Ob and choosing where you will give birth!

I feel like I do trust my body to be able to birth and breastfeed, but I have no natural innocence around pregnancy and birth having been through miscarriage and IVF. Hence, I want this precious little bub watched closely, just in case.

The challenge will be to balance staying true to our wishes of a natural birth with trusting the Ob to do her job. I guess its our responsibility to educate ourselves as much as possible. And then, just hope and trust - it got us this far didn't it!