Hi ladies,

finally feeling ready to post on this thread after a few weeks of lurking... Congratulations to all of you brave ladies in here on your pregnancies.

Currently cautiously pregnant!! 9+2!!

Lost my little boy in October 2009 and was really struggling at the beginning of the year...I was so unsure about trying again but my DH wanted it so desperately. In the end I'm so glad we did as we were lucky enough to fall pg in the first cycle of trying.
Got our on february 13th and after one day of freaking out I decided that no amount of worrying was ever going to change the outcome of this pg. It has been my first real positive move forward. No longer circling round in my own grief, I have been focused on trying to stay happy and positive for this new little life. I have made the positive decision not to read a single page of a pregnancy book but to react with my gut instincts this time (which I really wish I had gone with last time but it was my first pg then and what did I know?)

I have booked a private scan for next week (I'm in the UK and there are serious issues with early pregnancy care on the NHS here in my opinion.) Swinging from excitement to sheer terror about the prospect of the scan but I know that it's another positive choice I have made for this little one.

Worrying a bit about the 13th of April, due date of my first wee man. I feel I bonded more with him after he died than during my pg with him... (if that makes sense) and not sure how to approach this day and honour his memory whilst this new life grows where he should have been. On the other hand, don't want to wish him back there as our current wee one would never have come to be without him leaving us. Feeling a bit conflicted ATM.

Anyway, thanks for listening so far, will try to keep it shorter in the furture!
K.x