Pregnancy after Miscarriage or Loss ~ January 2011 #2

Reet - Thanks for the article about BH, very informative hehe. I've had 2 people respond to my baby shower invite, one yes and one no. Out of 20 people that's a pretty slack effort if you ask me, so as of Monday I'll be cancelling publicly. *sigh* We were declined for the first loan we applied for so I'm a bit sad about that, we were hoping it would mean DP could take the whole 18 weeks off. His work would just have to suck it up as he is entitled to do this if he's able. Now we're not sure what to do.... I'm feeling a bit stressed about it all. I couldn't help but chuckle at your 'gushing' story.... lol. How embarrassment, eh? Being pg isn't the most glamourous thing in the world. As long as you haven't had any other signs, or 'gushings' all is well. And yes, you MUST go shopping this weekend, that's an order, soldier! It must be so nice sharing your u/s appointments with your family, I haven't had a chance to do anything like that... it's just me and DP and now with my newfound lack of friends (who needs friends like that?!) I won't even have anyone to visit with the baby to show him/her off. Kinda sad, but I'm better off without these people around.

Ferrals - Wow that's great news about the house...... what an awesome Dad you have! I hope this is the beginning of things starting to turn around for you in the luck department.

Mildez - I hope things are sorted with your DH soon. I can understand your frustrations. Just remember to turn to eachother and not away when things are tough. :hug:

Stoked - :) Yay for homebirth!!

Melster - I'm feeling heavy lol. But otherwise good. Still having some pains here and there, a lot of BH and my back is killing me today after I turned house-cleaning into an extreme sport. (Ok, so I went a bit crazy!) I'm glad to hear you've been speaking with your DH. Communication is the only way to bridge the gap and come to a solution you are both happy with. Keep it up and stay strong. :hug: I hope the whole cs thing is sorted soon too, ugh it must be so frustrating.

Dory - Oh I gave that advice to Alish. :) It worked for me anyway, so I figured it couldn't hurt to offer my perspective. As lovely and sweet as it is for you to offer to shout me to lunch..... I would feel SOOOOO guilty about that. I hate not being able to pay my own way, and really couldn't ask that of you. (I pm'd you before I read this btw so yes I did make the money excuse lol). Anyway, as I said just making me feel important enough that you would offer is enough for me. I don't think I'd be much fun anyway right now, there's so much going on. Stressing a bit about money, and how DP is going to be able to take leave... my mum descending on us (that's what I call it anyway) once bubby is born, my crap friends, I feel a bit overwhelmed. I don't even have enough undies or pj pants to wear in hospital. I'm going to be pantsless in hospital!!!! :o I'd probably wind up crying LOL. I definitely don't think you and Tegam could both be psychos though. Who knows, maybe I'm the psycho.... lol. We will definitely do a meetup soon though, right now I just don't feel up to it. :hug: You're so wonderful though for wanting to do this so much... it's so sweet. I'm not one to break promises so I'm going to say I PROMISE we will meet up once bubby is born, and I'm less likely to cry over my lunch lol :) Sorry to hear you didn't get to go to the day spa, but like you said, it'll take time for Hannah Bear to get used to being with other people while mummy goes out and gets pampered. Maybe she was jealous and wanted to go to the day spa too? LOL, so cute. I bet as much as it breaks your heart when she's inconsolable like that, it means so much to know that your baby needs you and wants you and only you. HOORAY for being able to say that, you've come such a long way!

AFM - Nothing exciting to report. Money sucks, time is short, and as I said above, I am going to wind up pantsless in hospital if I don't get my butt into gear. I'm considering going to an op-shop to get some 'slumming it' pants. *sigh* I'm officially cancelling my baby shower on Monday, and trying not to feel too upset about it. I have no idea what kind of leave DP is going to be able to take, he says he's stressing about the money and now I'm stressing too but unable to do ANYTHING to help. Oh and it's my birthday on Sunday and we have no money to celebrate. DP said he felt bad he couldn't get me a present but I told him it's not about the present, it's about the cake. LOL. (last year after yet another birthday mishap which I won't bother to drivel on about in here, he bought me a cake and sung happy birthday to me by himself, just the two of us here at home. I nearly cried he's so cute.) There won't be cake either though because of GD. I'm trying not to let all this get me down, but I haven't had a good birthday in about 10 years. No exaggeration. Mum calls it the birthday curse. Something sucky always happens every year. So to anyone out there willing, please have a cupcake for me on Sunday, then describe how it tasted to me. :)

On the up side, (If you can call this positive, lol) the pest control man came today and victory is mine against the roaches. There are so many tiny dead bugs appearing it's very exciting not having to worry about the disgusting critters anymore. Not only that but my house is SUPER clean because I went a bit berserk yesterday and mopped, bleached the shower, cleaned the toilets, did the laundry..... you name it I did it. My back is paying for it today but it's soooooo nice at least having a clean house. Bugger, nothing else is going right for me (slight exaggeration) so I might as well have a clean house to live in.

Forshelby- aaaaw u make me sad! :( But trust me my life is no better.. except im quite happy not having any friends! Well i guess i do have friends.. but i never really see anyone. I dont think ive ever really put myself into a situation where my friends cld let me down.. its easier that way.. no ego bruising goes on! Maybe its a good thing realising now that ur 'friends' suck.. new beginnings and all. Me and dh have realised we cant really stand a lot of the ppl that we used to hang out with, we are more then happy to just have each other! We are rather anti-social tho! Probly not the best way to be.
Pls try not to let it get u down tho.. same with the money issues.. things do normally end up working out. How much time can dp have off now without struggling too much?? I think it wld make a huge difference if when dp does go back to work he does just his normal work hours... no OT for a while. Atleast then majority of the time u can do normal things like have dinner together at a reasonable hour etc.
Its weird that ur feeling down at the moment.. cleaning normally boosts me up! I guess it wld get me down a bit not being able to feast on cake on my birthday... what happens if u accidently forget that u have GD and have a little bit?? ;) I really hope this years bday is different to the rest and u can have a lovely day.. its normally the simple things that bring happiness. xxx

Ferrals- Im glad im not the only one with the 'drippy vag'! Hahaha love ur way with words :) Its funny i was remembering today that back in the TTC days i wld get so excited if i woke up the next morning and had a drippy vag still.. it meant that i had kept dhs little swimmers in all nite which i thought wld give them a big chance of finding my eggy! Haha those were the days... glad there over for now tho!
And im with forshelby.. ur dad is AWESOME!!! That is fantastic news.. a huge weight off ur shoulders. I hope u can find a suitable place to live in the meantime.

Cheshire- Are u still on ur little high from ur u/s?? Hope so! :)

Mildez- Oh wow.. i guess it is better to get checked out then if ur waters broke 4 weeks prior to going into labour! I really think this was just from dtd tho, it hasnt happened since. DH is away for the next week so if it happens in that time i will get it checked out!
Sorry to hear about ur relationship issues.. i think pregnancy definitely brings out all those stresses and issues. U want ur partner to be a good provider for u and ur new baby and when it seems they cant live up to that role by things they are doing or not doing it can get very stressful! Are u both happy not sharing money or wld u prefer to put it all together? Will he have any time off when baby is born or since hes only doing a few hrs each day its not really an issue.. he will be home enough anyway...?
(If ur still feeling angry and upset about all this i reckon u shld make a post in the Boohoo room- General chatter area. Its the best! Whenever i have.. the girls have always made me feel a lot better.. and not alone!)

Stoked- Woohoo for being able to have another homebirth!!! :)

Melster- Im not sure what to say except im so sorry ur having such a tough time :( Have u got some support?? Is ur mum good to talk to or do u try and hide a lot of it from her?? Hows ur dd going with it all? Sorry to hear about ur dad too.. thinking of u xx

Dory- Ur day spa outing sounds devine! Pity it didnt work out.. but atleast since u have a voucher u will have to eventually use it when the time is right! I bet ur aunt didnt mind too much having a day off work to have baby cuddles anyway.. oh and a lovely lunch! :) Oh and I gave my little yogi boy a cuddle from u the other day.. he is such a snuggly little thing! I will put some pics of him on my fb and post the link one of these days.. hes beautiful.. well i think so anyway.. i am of course biased tho!

AFM- Everything good here! I really dont think this little baby ever sleeps tho! Its always moving around. And majority of the time i can feel the little body parts poking out.. im never sure what body part exactly but i love it! Im still just loving every part of being pg.. even the drippy vag is definitely worth it!!!
Oh a little story.. last night i was so clumsy and fell UP 2 steps.. i was carrying my plate to the kitchen and my pyjama pants must have gotten a bit tangled with my feet.. i fell on my side on my elbow and knee so everything was all fine but omg u shld have heard my dh and seen him come running! He got to me half worried but half angry! I was laughing cos it wasnt the most stylish fall but he definitely wasnt finding anything funny! Its not like i meant to fall over! He rolled my pants up to my knees and gave me a stern warning to be more careful. Haha yes daddy! A few hrs later he even asked me if i had felt baby move since.. 'haha yes honey, it hasnt stopped' Nice that he was so worried but its made me super paranoid about being clumsy in front of him cos i dont want to 'get in trouble' again! I definitely know it cld be serious if i were to fall splat on my tummy but i really didnt mean to fall over and im pretty sure i wld do everything i cld NOT to land on my tum tum.

Anyway better jump off, take care beautiful ladies! (and i will try my hardest to as well! :) ) xxx

Reet - OMG , you sound like me - tripping up stairs over your pj's and trying to do it stylishly. DH deserved a gold star for being so concerned.. the visual image of him rolling up your pants is just so cute.

Forshelby - Happy birthday for Sunday - I will eat a cup cake for you and even light a candle for your birthday.

Reet & Forshelby - you guys sound so much like me - don't put yourself out there 'cause then you don't get burned. And then when you are brave enough to put yourself out there you do get burned so reinforcing your beliefs.....

speaking of sad birthday's - I invited a stackload of people to my birthday party a couple of years ago and the only people that turned up were my DH and my toxic now ex friend.... I had self catered food and drinks. It was pretty miserable. Everyone had an excuse ...... but it doesn't stop the lonliness birds settling like stones into your heart. So now? I don't invite loads people anywhere, and if I want to invite people, I make it intimate and I do try and make most things I am invited to. The thing about not inviting anyone? No clean up, no preparation.... it's all sweet. Hmm I did invite a lot of family to the christening, and I got annoyed at some who said "it's too far and I'll be tired for work on Monday" when we've driven to things for them, AND my Dad who's almost 70 drove up from Victoria - now that's a long way to drive.

Anyway.. should go...

Just thought I would pop in quickly to let you all know I am still alive and kicking along. I have my OB/GYN appointment on Monday morning so praying that everything is still all good for bub. Had a huge scare last night when I started getting some cramping. Haven't been feeling to bad the last few days nausea seems to have settled for me and I am only getting it a little bit if I get really hungry now. So I am stressing about Monday huge time especially after the cramps I had last night. DFs grandmother passed away tonight after battling a very long illness of Cancer and some major strokes as well. So it looks like we are in for a road trip next week down to Grafton for her funeral.

Forshelby~ Happy Birthday for this week end hun, hope you have a wonderful day, be thinking of you.
Sorry for the lack of personals.

it seems quiet a few of us are having some sort of issues at the moment and its so sad.....and although im not saying its a good thing. its kind of reassuring that others also have problems and u kinda dont feel so alone.......i spat it at the shops today at mum because she was just at me and at me because i was in a bad mood......im like......ummmmmm yeah its not like my life is falling apart or anything and u want me to be this happy peron and i cried in front of everyone lol......i saw hubby and we have transferred the money. half to him and half to me....well by next saturdays anyways....when really we should have kept the money together......but i am just sad because he is doing exactly what he wants and giving me no other option or choice........but wants me to be ok with it and go home.............but im not ok to be given no other option....and all because his ex........i have still told him to go so we can come home but i dont think he is going to....think he is scared to leave because he thinks i wont let him back.......i just need more time to think.....dd is ok but she is extremely unsettled...poor thing.....im just in a daze.............app the ex got our response to her csupport claims and boy was she going off........u think after ten years u would be over it wouldnt u.......but know she is still at it.....all i can hope for is she gets nothing and we dont end up in court.......im so so stressed its not funny..........

Ill do persies when i can get my brain together

hi everyone!

melster - sorry to hear it hasnt got better.. hopefully it will soon :) xxx

im way too tired to do persies, went out to our block today and cleared some shrubs/bracken/trees... my lord! i had a nap out there lol..
i had my midwife appt yesterday and i have the paperwork for the downsyndrome test / checkup ultrasound i can do it in the next two weeks so im happy enough to wait.. i spose.. haha!

Clairesmummy so sorry to hear about your grandmother in law. May she rest in peace. Thinking of you and your DF.

Forshelby Happy Birthday for this weekend.

T-Hopes did those BH settle? Hope all is great with you and bub.

Ferrals yes Hope sounds familar. I'm pleased to hear her and her bubs are doing so well and due to arrive soon. Woohoo.

Thanks for the wellwishes ladies with DH and my issues. I cracked the shiats with him last night as he proceeded to go to bed without kissing me goodnight. I told him I've excepted that our relationship sucks and I either except that this is how its going to be or do something about it and leave. He got very upset and said he doesn't see it how I do. Made me feel all guilty. I do think pregnancy isn't helping. Hopefully its just a bad phase we will bounce out of. Reet your right. Thats one positive is DH will be home quite abit when bub is born. Knowing my luck it will be then he decides to pull his finger out and work more lol. I guess I can't have it both ways.

The whole ruptured membranes is a little concering after what happened with DD. It was obviously only a tiny leak enough to dampen my undies not even wear a pad but I guess it was enough for the protection to be breached and an infection get in. As soon as my membranes ruptured for good (like in the movies how you expect) then labour was on in full force so it wasn't enough to send me into labour.

Well goodnight ladies. I'm exhausted. Of to bned for another early start at work. Very depressed I only have 1day of on Monday before back to work again. I'm so exhausted.

Unfortunately my stay was short here but hopefully in the next year or so I will be back again, this time for the long haul :(

Good luck with everything!

freya~ I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

Mildez~ I am sorry to hear about the stress that CS and the ex is adding ontop of everything. CS sucks me and my bf are having issues too the ex is trying to say that he was behind he went to court the cs person said that he was not behind but would not take it off his record (confusing i know) so she said no that she wants him in voiletion. So he has to go back to court in march he was never behind but still its just added stress. She is mad that he is happy with his life.

Sorry if i have missed anyone but life around here has been busy LIL miss honor has been keeping me busy.

sorry to hear about your loss freya

Sorry to hear of ur loss Freya, I really hope u will be back to join us all soon xx

Dory- Aaaw ur bday story made me so sad! Now thats EXACTLY why i dont put myself into situations like that.. i just cld not handle it AT ALL. Even when i was a bit younger i wld have 'joint parties' so if it was a dud it wasnt so bad.. there was someone else to feel sad and like a loser with me too! Luckily they always turned out ok.. must have been all the other persons friends coming!! Sorry to hear ppl let u down at ur christening too.. its so annoying when that happens and they are the ppl u wld always bend over backwards for.. just store them in ur memory bank now.. no going out of ur way for ppl that dont deserve ur time miss dory! :)

Clairesmummy- Sorry to hear about DFs grandmother :( Have a safe trip to Grafton. I hope the weather isnt too wet for the drive. Good luck at ur ob. appointment tomoro.. does ur ob. have a little u/s machine in his room??

Melster- I hate seeing u all frustrated! U shld be enjoying this pregnancy. I really really hope things sort them selves out soon.

Alish- Woohoo for ur upcoming scan! So how many days til u have it??

Mildez- I really hope dh is making a little bit more effort now that he realises ur not happy.. its those small things that definitely count.. like saying goodnight. I hope it is just a phase and u can sort it out before baby comes.. u wont need relationship stresses when looking after a newborn.. u will need the support from ur dh. Maybe go out for a cheap dinner somewhere.. or go and see a funny movie (No Strings Attached looks alright!!) Just take some time out for the 2 of u. Its times like this when u need each other.. especially if ur dh isnt too happy in his own life at the moment. U make me feel so sorry for u whenever u bring up going to work.. i can almost feel ur pain thru the computer! I hope ur day off tomoro is a good one.. do lots of relaxing if u can! :)

Angelfish- Nice to hear from u! I hope little miss honor is being a good little baby for u :) Are u severely sleep deprived?? I bet its all worth it anyway even if u are :)

Forshelby, Forshelby- U deserve a post all to urself! .... To be continued...

:birthday2: :birthday2: :birthday2: :birthday2: :birthday2: :birthday2: :birthday2:

WISHING FORSHELBY A BIG BIG BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

I hope u have a lovely day today and u get spoilt rotten by ur DP... foot rubs.. lovely meals cooked.. head tickles.. etc. :)

xxxxxxx

hi reet - it says i should get the scan done between 11 weeks 3 days & 13 weeks, so im only 10 now now im thinking ill get it done thursday or friday week.. so like the 24th/25th feb?? and it says the blood test should be done at 10 weeks so i might go on tuesday or something.. im not sure though, had anyone else had this done?
then i have to see my normal gp in 4 weeks just to have a blood pressure check up.. i have to go see him anyway for something else so it works in well... thennnn i see my obgyn on the 21st or 22nd march and i think ill be around 16 weeks, and then i think he will organise the 20 week gender scan.. eeek i cant wait to find out the sex..!

I NEED SOME ADVICE!!!! im having issues-ish with my best friend atm.. when i had my ectopic pregnancy, a couple of weeks after she asked me to get the morning after pill for her cuz she had had unprotected sex with her hubby but she didnt want to be preg cuz she had already booked an o/s trip.. which i was totally disgusted about but i did it anyway.. then 2 weeks later she claimed she miscarried (i thought the morning after pill bought on a early period?? but i dunno) she was saying her hpt was positive but her hubby said it wasnt so whatever, i consoled her like a good friend does.. then i fell pregnant again and she went o/s and i lost the baby, she didnt even get in contact to see how i was.. then at xmas time she thought she was preg and she was like ohh worst timing ever it will ruin my summer, but it turns out she wasnt.. now im pregnant and she thinks she is but im finding it hard to believe her cuz one minute she wants one then the next she dosent, and im even finding it hard to try and say positive things to her.. i dunno what to do, what do you girls think?? after the lies and stuff i dont know if i really believe her period is late but i feel like a sh*t friend for not believeing her??

im sorry for no persies i have really bad baby brain atm im just all over the place and my bestie is really rattling me..

happy birthday forshelby, i hope you have a fantastic day & get spoilt rotten :)

i hope everyone else is well, and having a fantastic day also :) xxxxxx

Reet - oh thanks for your kind words... I am tough and I'll bounce back... sometimes I think in that department I can be like a big ole puppy, tail between my legs one moment and then bounding around all giddy happy and loving everyone again.

I think really what it means is my expectations of people may be too high - there is always going to be a certain number of people who can't attend and know it in advance, a certain number who say they can but then either forget, or something comes up, or just can't be bothered, and then those who just don't rsvp for whatever reason. TBH, I have forgotten to rsvp sometimes. It's hard not to take it personally but I think it's just what happens? And it's kind of comforting to know it happens to others? We went to a bbq for some friends, and it was kinda last minute but out of the 10 couples who said they'd come, 2 turned up. My friends were pretty cut up about it and were making comments like " it was better like this, more intimate". Poor buggers... know how it feels to walk in those shoes.

Honestly about the christening, of the people who didn't attend, I only really care about 1 group and they had health issues and an 8 hour drive one way, so totally explained why they didn't come. The others? I don't really care about them enough to really care that they didn't come.. I just get annoyed because they are rude. The people who did come? Well they are the people I wanted to share it with anyway.

I like the idea of a joint party....

Alish - hmm oh dear, I am sorry to say it but that friend sounds like bad news. From an outsiders perspective she seems to only think about herself and not consider how her actions impact on you She seems to need "everything to be about her".... I mean seriously at very special times of your life, she has made it about her. My view is you need better than that and I think your gut instinct is right not to trust her. But for me that's easy to say. And putting that into practice is even harder. I took the very noble course of just ignoring a friend of mine like that for 18 months, and then eventually told her, like I was in primary school, " I don't want to be your friend anymore". Of course she made THAT about herself too. It's hard huh? you need support but also that support has to come from well intentioned people who give to you rather than take. Sweetie, short of ignoring her or telling her exactly what you typed here and seeing how it goes, I don't have much advice. I am just so sorry that you have to deal with something like this.

FORSHELBY - happy birthday girl. I will have a cup cake today for you with a candle and everything and I will tell you as per your request, how it tasted. Guess what? Once your little honey dew has made their way into the world.... I am going to get you your own cupcake! Have a good day. Belly rubs.

Sunshine - sending you all my sunday love and strength... give that little Obie and huge serve of love from his aussie aunties.

thanks dory, im starting to think if our friendship is as good as we thought it was.. im scared to say anything to her as well cuz she is a very selfish girl and she dosent know it, like, how will she react??
like i shouldnt have to worry about crap like this, im so so happy ive gotten to 10 weeks cuz ive never made it past 8, even saying that, im not to know something hasnt happened cuz i didnt know last time, and i just feel like she dosent give a sh*t! its about me at the moment, i dont want it to be about me for the next 5 months but at least til i can see my baby again! and feel better!

i think i might cook a choccie cake today :) i like cooking sweets it takes my mind off things

Happy Birthday Forshelby :)

Alish- Now I want to cook chokkie cake.. Don't have the ingredients or money for one though :(

Freya- so horry to hear about your loss. Hopefully we will see you in here again shortly.

How are the newborns of the group going?

The CSA should get their butts into gear and help the right people!

Afm- Can't believe that my NT scan is tomorrow :D extremely excited!

Just real quickies i have been up since 4am and worked all day.

Freya-so sorry hun hope you are ok and we will see you back here real soon.

Damprye-Have a great scan i am glad i never have to have another 12 week scan again i now just look forward to seeing my girls face before she is born she keeps hiding it in the 3D scans and i only have one more chance on wed to get a nice picture of her.

Forshelby-Happy BDay hun hope you got spoilt.

Mildez-I hope your man pulls his finger out and gets with it soon it take two in a relationship to make it work.
I came home from work today to DH cooking dinner and he had done the boys uniforms and lunches for tomorrow he saw i had had a bad day so he went and ran me a bubble bath how lucky am i to find him i will never let him go.

AFM-sorry i am so slack with persies just really sore and tired today but the best bit is today was my last day of work i am on maternity leave until the end of july.
Little miss has not been her usual disco queen self the last 2 days i feel her moving around every now and then but no kicks or big fit type movements like usual.
And these braxton hick and the pressure i have OUCH!.
Mildez when do bubs slow down with movement before birth i just feel so ready to burst and the pressure is like my water feels like its about to pop is that because the placenta is on the bottom of my uterus.

Freya - I missed your post in here earlier when I went on about myself.... I am so so sorry that your angel wasn't with you for longer. Take care of yourself....

Mildez - glad you at least got from DH he doesn't see your relationship in the same way you do. Phew, but maybe he'll try to be more demonstrative now? Hope you're taking care of yourself at work.

Ferrals - yay for last days of work! Hopefully it's just been you've been to busy to notice LM bouncing around.

Clairesmummy - GL for tomorrow and condolences for DF's grandmother's passing. Drive safely.

Dampyre - GL for your scan too. It is so exciting seeing your lil one on the big screen.... sending you lots of love.

Melster - keep strong.

Alish - I agree - maybe just try to avoid her?

Angel - hugs to you and Honor.....

Reet - yep Angel will be sleep deprived and probably teary.... it's a very demanding time the first 6 weeks... but oh soooo worth it.