Pregnancy after Miscarriage or Loss ~ January 2011 #2

tegam - im going good thanks.. have my scan on friday! im excited & scared at the same time..
i know how u feel.. my "ectopic anniversary" is coming up too - right around the time of my wedding anniversary, needless to say - our first wedding anniversary was sh*t! even though we had a nice dinner it was all still very sad! and the last baby got taken away on dh birthday so that wasnt very nice either! its nice to be able to talk to people that understand what youve been through and are still going through!
lets hope this is 3rd time lucky for me ay?

Melster & mildez-looks like we all have dramas with child support i hope we all get some results soon.

Melster-Did your DH make the same mistake and pay for shoes school stuff ,sports ect and not actually pay it through child support so they credit him my DH did that with all those mortgage payments while his ex was living in their home and he was renting they say it was classed as child support because he was providing rent ect to keep a roof over her head but the ex objects to it and because DH didnt pay the money through child support they now can not accept it after there original decision to accept it so thats what we are fighting for.

Tegam & alish-i know how you girls feel Abbi's birth and death anniversary date is 4 days after Ella's c section and i cant shake this feeling i will not have a good out come again.

Alish-Tegam got lucky so lets hope we do to.

AFM-2 SHIFTS OF WORK LEFT!!!! tonight and sunday and i am done.

Morning ladies

I hope everyone is well

Ferrals, Mildez.....yES WE DO..and its great isnt it...unforunately hubby didnt want to stir the pot with the ex because she always cracks it and makes our lives hell..and never did a change of assess or claimed for any of those things which he paid for...BUT he should of because she has just done it to us....even though she is crying poor, she has done it to herself......Her partner broke up with her because she stole money....and she is the one that her messed up her work partnership with this lady and this lady took her too court (she got what she deserved) and i think she is in trouble with centerlink etc and never did her tax etc..so i am hoping all this will come into it........ and CS never help you out in any way and let uno what you can do. I'm just waiting for Monday and waiting for some miracle to occur were she gets what she deserves...that someone is watching out for us and all those things she has done will come and bite her.........hopefully she gets nothing!!!! Or even if it was $5000.00 i could probably deal with that but any more and im going to spit chips. Then we are going to have a big drawn out battle and im sick of the fighting and stress. There is no way i am letting her get away with running a buisness and not paying us, but yet we have to pay her. Wish i could deal with CS because hubby will get all flustered and forget what to say etc......

He send me a message late last night because its our wedding anniversary today :redface:

Alish..i hope you have a great scan..

I rang my ob just to be sure about all the stress, and like he had already said he even had a ladies husband died and the baby was ok. He said the baby should be fine and if i get any pains or bleeding let him know, and it was like all of you said ;) but i just had to get more peace of mind...the last thing i need is anything to happen to this baby...

Sorry for no personals but i have been reading :)

I had some bleeding on sat & still spotting now, Having a U/S tomorrow to rule out an ectopic & m/c.
i'm not feeling positive at all, i've had cramping & pain on my sides. So pretty much accepting the fact it will bad news tomorrow :(

Melster-You can talk on your DH behalf i do all your DH has to do is put in an authorisation for you and then you can be his representative like me because my DH just yells and swears at them tells them where to go and gets nothing resloved or never gets the right info to them so i do all the talking unless he answers the phone then god help them.

I am feeling really low today i had a look at all the bills mounting up with extentions we cant afford to register DH car so how does he go for job interviews ect what i am bringing in is no where near enough i was even $20 short for rent this week so i have to put that in on friday.
I have never been this bad in my life i have never not worked and with DH ( sorry to sound mean) but f#cking everything with his temper and his loss of his security license and this court case which we got a letter to say legal aid might not represent him now oh! great 3 weeks before the court date i just am not making ends meet and i have 35 days until bub arrives.
And i am soooooo worried something will go wrong to many people are losing their babies in the last few weeks of there pregnancies and it is scareing the hell out of me what did i do to deserve such a bad run i just want to be comfortable and bring this little girl home safe in my arms but the way we are going i cant even afford to hire the capsule i am just going to go off for a cry right now.[/B]

Cheshire-I missed your post hun my fingers and toes are crossed it's just bub snuggling in.

lol dory, you didn't scare me off :) Just been a combination of busy and lazy to get on and post. I promise I am seriously considering your offer, :)

to everyone else, I'm at the hospital right now waiting for my appointment so will be back later for persies.

Forshelby - hope your appointment goes well.

Alish - thinking of you on Friday... just take a deep breathe every so often and just believe.

Cherished whoops I mean Cheshire - oh sweetie - hugs - like Ferrals said, hope it's bubs being snuggley... good luck with your ultra sound... I know it's a very scary and lonely time right now...... just hoping you get through to some good news tomorrow.

Ferrals - Hmm, did I see you sneak a name for little miss in there? If you haven't posted her name before, what a beautiful name you have choosen... Ella..... if you have posted and I missed it, sorry. I hoe you feel better after your cry last night. It just helps to get all those feelings out. I am sorry you're doing it so tough financially and stress wise right now.

TegamM - thinking of you my blossom.

Sunshine - I was thinking about little Obed today and realised I was smiling..... hope you are all getting along as best as can be expected.

Dory-Yes Ella Jean Christine is our girls name she has 2 middle names lucky girl.

i dont think ill be having a scan on friday :( its only a midwife appt, my next one isnt until 21st march, im sooo upset :(:(:(

Cheshire..I will hope and pray for you...I had bleeding and spotting early in my pregnancy...twice actually..so i will pray everything is ok..

Ferrals...its completely understandable you feel the way you do. Finances can control our lives and our feelings and can make us feel in a hole. You have had alot on you're plate and to deal with, its no wonder you feel the way you do. Its so hard until you start feeling like you're getting to the end of the tunnel...all you can do is try you're best to survive and hope and pray things will eventually work out ok..
Can you put $5.00 away a week for a capsule? or can you look in the trader, garage sale or one of those second hand baby stores? How can legal aid do that? Oh i wish i could help because i can really sympathise with the way you're feeling and i defiantly know how you're feeling at the moment and then having a baby to worry about as well....Unforunately there are things we just cant control (i need to take my own advise) and we just need to keep plodding along.....i am sending you a massive hug and a cuddle. Go have a big cry and let it all out....then try and tackle all these things the best way you can...to releave at least some of the stress....

Cheshire I'm praying your scan shows a gorgeous little bub growing perfectly in your uterus.

Alish FX you get to see bub. That would be such an added bonus.

Ferrals I'm praying you find some money. Everything happens at once doesn't it? Can you sell any unwanted things on ebay? Not that it would help alot but it could do. Are your DS's eligable for some youth allowance or something that might beable to help as a family? I hope something unexpected in the way of lots of cash happens.

Sunshine - Thanks for keeping us updated on Obie's progress :) He sounds like a real little fighter. Stick around as long as you need to hun! A part of me does enjoy the attention my belly attracts, but the other part of me feels a bit awkward lol. This is the most attention I've received since I was young(er) and stylish... hehehe.

Alish - It's not unusual for m/s to kick in at 8 or 9 weeks, it's a good sign that you feel crappy lol. I thought I would feel awkward having people touch my belly (I generally was not a very touchy type person except with DP) but I LOVE it! Everyone I know likes to rub my belly when they see me, I tell them to make a wish when they do it, lol.

Ferrals - I think the better diet really does help with the weight gain. It's hard to tell for sure though, as it should be tapering off by now anyway. At this weeks checkup I hadn't gained any, so I was thrilled with that! The adjustments I've made are pretty minor, actually........ it's not something I have to worry about a whole lot. Mostly I just cut out sugary drinks and desserts. I'm having 'lite' icecream if I need a sweet fix and even on the odd occasion I've eaten out, I just eat as usual and my blood sugar never goes higher than 8, so I'm very lucky it's only mild. Good to hear you're still getting it on with your DH hehehe. I think it's been about 6 weeks for me, but it's not a problem for us. We just don't feel all that frisky with everything this big belly represents. I must try to get a couple of good rounds in though before D day lol. Hooray for your last shifts of work!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ikwym about worrying about the last few weeks of pg... for some reason the nervousness has started to kick in a bit that I will get all this way and not take a baby home. It seems irrational, but it creeps in here and there. It's not surprising you're feeling edgy, you've had a really rough time with everything during this pg, and the financial stresses don't help the situation at all! I'm hoping for some kind of a miracle for you. Can I buy you a lotto ticket?? :)

Mildez - I hope all is okay, good idea getting checked out though to put your mind at ease. :hug:

Melster - There comes a time when a man needs to 'make his choice'. I get that he has kids with this woman, but his primary concern should be what's happening in the present, with YOU. Perhaps this 'break' will be what he needs to put things into perspective. I had a similar issue with DP's ex (no kids involved thank goodness) and her manipulations. She would constantly be calling every time something went wrong because she 'had nobody else'. Eventually I told him to make his choice. I asked him if he wanted to jepoardize a present fulfilling relationship which is healthy and actually going somewhere, for the sake of being his ex gf's safety net. She called just a couple of weeks ago to say she's moving to Sydney. She asked what was going on with DP, and he told her we are having a baby. He and I both think she was trying to gauge her chances of getting back with him (as she's never really given up on that as far as we can tell, by the way she hovers around in the background on and off). Apparently she went all quiet and got off the phone very quickly. I hope she really is leaving town, and wasn't just saying that in the hopes he would be single and begging her to stay. But enough about me! LOL. I do understand the feelings it stirs up when there's an ex in the picture...... it's hard to explain, but I get it. It must be 10 times harder for you because there are kids and she isn't going to just disappear. :hug:

Tegam - I haven't given Dory my number yet, but will do as soon as I respond to her PM. You guys are so cute..... I feel all shy though and a bit weird about meeting people from online. My cover will be blown! LOL, I liked being anonymous. We've all shared such TMI moments....... I think we'll have a few good laughs. I still haven't decided for sure if I'm brave enough (or have the spare cash) to meet up and have lunch or something.......... but I'm working on mustering up the courage. It's so unlike me to just bust out of my rut and say 'let's do it!' so it might be good for me. Hmmmm.. still pondering. :) I hope you're feeling alright today, being the anniversary of your ectopic. It must be such a mixed bag of emotions. :hug: It's ok to reflect on it and feel sad, it doesn't mean you don't appreciate Molly at all. Thinking of you today.

Dory - Oh yes, the what if questions are hard. I could have written that word for word! Cosmic twin high five... lol. I'll PM you later after my nap.. hehe I haven't forgotten about you!

Cheshire - Good luck hun, I hope bubby is hanging in there and the bleeding is nothing to worry about. :hug: don't lose hope yet.

AFM - My appointment went well today, everything is going just fine. Better than last night anyway! I had THE WORST headache, and of course not being able to pop a couple of nurofen plus to kill it was really horrible. This is the first really bad headache I've had this whole pg, so I've been lucky as I'm really prone to them, and they suck. I even got that 'sparkle' effect in front of my eyes, so was a bit concerned. I took the maximum dose of panadol though, and still couldn't get rid of it. Then the ice-pack I'd resorted to went warm.... and I kept waking up all night with my head pounding. Ughhhh. Oh, and I saw a giant ****roach when I was trying to pee during one of my night-wakeups.......... made my head pound even more trying to get out of the bathroom in a hurry. Ewwwwwww. LOL. I still felt crap this morning, but thankfully 2 panadol for breakfast followed by a banana did the trick. I did mention it to the midwife (or nurse.. or whoever I saw today at the hospital) and she took my BP and said it was fine, but to be aware and if I get any more 'sparkles' or bad headaches that happen more often to come in and have my BP checked.

In other news (yes I have a lot of news) we've decided to take on a housemate to ease our financial burdens. As much as I wish we didn't have to have a friend living with us at a time like this............... we need the money, and he needs a place to stay. (his gf cheated on him and he is devastated) I used to work with this guy, and he was always nice and polite etc. I do feel slightly weird about having another person here though when I'm going to be kind of out of sorts and vulnerable. Breastfeeding will be um, interesting with another person around LOL. I figure I'll get over it though, and it might even be handy having the extra person around to help with the housework and cooking.

Ok I think that's all. Time for me to snuggle in for a nice air conditioned nap. Then I promise I'll be back to answer your PM, Dory.... lol. :)

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Alish-Tegam got lucky so lets hope we do to.
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Tegam Got very lucky and so will both of you!

Dory: TegamM you think? Maybe Gammet? LOL

Chershire Thinking of you!

Forshelby it would be the 1st time Dory and i meet to - whats the odds of both of us being psycho?

ferrals - yeah i know, i just havent seen the baby in 4 weeks and im guessing i wont see it on friday so now im really p*ssed off.. i hate living rural sometimes things just arent available at your beckon call :(:(

im such a downer today. ontop of that ive had a sh*t day all round.

forshelby - my mil is so touchy feely - even now, like rubs my arms and stuff and wont stop for like 5 10 mins or every time she walks past she has to rub my arm!! it makes me really uncomfortable!! im only touchy feely with dh, everyone else im not at all..

i dunno what the extreme sickness was about the other day cuz its pretty much gone now,, im starting to have a bad feeling

I got todays HCG levels back & they are over 6000, they 437 last Wednesday.
Dr said that it's a good sign that they are still doubling.

I'm trying to be more positive about tomorrow now.

Thank-you so much ladies :hug:

Cheshire - I have just been through a very similar situation. I had bleeding for a week and pain in my left side and thought it might be ectopic. Yesterday my levels reached 8500 which showed they had been doubling every two days for the past week. They did a scan and found a uterine pregnancy and couldn't see anything in the tubes so they doubt it will be ectopic. The bleeding has now stopped but that doesn't stop me checking every 10 minutes to see if has started again. I hope your scan goes well tomorrow.

Melster-I need the capsule in 5 weeks so it needs to be fitted in 4 weels but i have sorted it out i picked up one last shift before i finish work on sunday and its a saturday shift so thats an extra $200 the capsule is $130 to hire.

Midez-My to youngest that are still at school are to young for youth allowance they are only 13 & 14 and my eldest works and he pays his own way now i just do his washing and feed him when he is home.

Forshelby-Lol i might just go and buy one.
I actually lost a kilo this week so i am back to 69kgs and i only started out at 64kg hope that is normal for this heat ect i dont eat that much now.

Cheshire-excellent news hope the bleeding buggers off.

India's mum-way to go it's all looking good.

AFM-My mum dropped around a $100 meat voucher and my dad is paying for the 6mth-7yr car seat and now i can hire the capsule so i feel a little better today we are going to see someone to help with our elect bill on the 15th i have never done that in my life and feel so embarrassed but we have no choice and DH car and motor bike just wont get registered.
God i need him to find work before the next round of bills come in.
Sorry for the selfish posts just have so much on my plate.
Thanks for being so supportive and understanding of me girls you are my mental life line right now.