Pregnancy after Miscarriage or Loss ~ January 2011
Welcome to the pregnancy after miscarriage and loss thread. We look forward to sharing your journey to holding your baby in your arms. Welcome to the new members of this thread, I am sure you will be made welcome.
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Ferrals - sorry to hear you're spotting.. I've heard it's common with placenta praevia.... but common or not, still not nice to actually see. Enjoy your lie down and hopefully no hossy for you.
I decided I would announce Molly's arrival as it's such a wonderous bit of news to announce... and Tegam then gets to read all of our well wishes and welcomes for Molly. Congrats on 27 weeks too.
Kell - I used to drink peppermint tea a lot, helps with digestion. Not sure about heartburn.... hope you find a solution. Congrats on 23 weeks.
Melster - sweetie - every pregnancy is different... each of my 5 have all been different from each other in terms of how I have felt about the pregnancy and the baby. It's ok to be scared and not feel as "attached" to this pregnancy... it's only natural after a loss. It doesn't mean you love this baby any less, nor want this baby any less.... I think it's just a way we protect ourselves from being hurt.
But what really worked for me to feel connected to Hannah, was to put my hands on my tum as often as I could and just quietly say, "I love you and right now, right at this moment I am pregnant and I am growing you as best I can". I would then close my eyes and take some deep breaths and just try and enjoy the moment. If you can string enough moments together, eventually you'll get there. Some days, even when I only felt despair and forboding I would do this..it helped a little in those bleak times. It sort of became a ritual.. I find myself doing it even now. Most of the pregnancy I had to work hard at feeling like there was even any hope of getting to the end...and now look at me... I miss being pregnant and want to do it again.
I never thought I could love another child as much as I loved Amelia, our firstborn, who died. But even though each of my pregnancies have been hard and high risk, I love each of my babies. You do too, it's just hard for you to feel that right now, because there's so much else going on....
I hope you find a way through your feelings.... I have been there and felt much like you many times and found my own way through... you just have to keep trying to find a way that helps you. It won't be solved with the wave of a magic wand, but anything that is worth it, requires some work. And this is well worth it.
Go gently on yourself too.... this is hard stuff. Hugs.
It's also good to seek help from a counsellor. They can help you with thinking about things differently or help you devise strategies to get through the tough times.
Forshelby - ahhh I so miss to pregnancy woes and discomforts. Crazy I know. Good idea to be kind to yourself and get out of the heat and humidity. Just remember, even if you feel blah, you are doing to most wonderous thing ever - growing a bubba. And when you bubba arrives you can look at the tiny fingernails and say.... I grew these! And the impossibly small hand grasped around your finger and say I grew these!
Hmm - I am like Kell - can't remember too much of what was in the last thread.... will catch up another time. Take care mummas.
Audax - hoping you're enjoying your newborn cuddles.
Ferrals - Being told it will happen still doesn't prepare you for actually seeing it, does it? I hope it resolves itself and you can avoid a hospital stay.
Dory - Excellent advice for Melster, well said. I too know I will miss being pg (I still don't think I'll miss the swollen feet though!) and DP and I have already discussed having another. It might sound really morbid, but we kept thinking 'what happens when we're both dead and buried?' We want this child to have someone they can feel connected to, and to still have a family even when we're gone. I would hate for this little one to wind up all alone, even if they are all grown up. From the man who said NEVER EVER to having even one, this is extremely exciting and shows just how much things can change. And the best part? I didn't have to badger him at all, he just came to me one day and said 'let's have a baby'. It's sooo wonderful to hear him say he wants to do it again when number 1 hasn't even arrived yet.
AFM - Well it's cooled down a bit now so I'm feeling a bit better. DP asked me to go and fuel up the car, which was a bit of an ordeal given the humidity.. I didn't want to get out of the air-conditioned car to use the pump lol. People are asking me everywhere I go now when the baby is due. It still takes me by surprise every time. I know my pg is obvious, and my waddle is extremely stylish (LOL) but it still surprises me when people ask. Whenever DP is with me and a shop assistant asks (usually a lady) he gets this grin on his face and he looks so proud.
Well i just spent the last 5 hours in hospital i was put on a monitor they were talking steriod injections and being sent to royal north shore for the NICU but bub is happy in there and no sign of contractions or red blood they did an internal to make sure the cervix was closed it is and the blood is very light brown so they said that is to be expected with PP the doctor wanted me to stay overnight for observation but i refused as there is no red blood and i think i will stress more in hospital so i am home now and told to rest no housework ect.
Tegam-well i guess i can now say welcome to the word little molly and i was so excited to read your txt this morning.
Ferrals~ please take it easy i am thinking of you.
AFM~ i am going to the dr again to get my blood pressure taken i am trying not to be to nervous about it. But i am not swallen at this point and the only ill feeling i have is from being sick becosue everytime his kids come i get a head cold so i am hopefull!
Dory-- what a wonderful post and what terrific advice-- I am going to try the belly rub with gentle thoughts, as you suggested...and also thinking "I grew these" when looking at the fingers and toes...Thanks for posting!
Ferrals-- thinkng of you and wishing you well-- take care of yourself...
About me-- all is well. Parents are here visiting from MD and we are catching up!
I am officially on strict bedrest now. The blood test came back good i am not toxic in anyways. But my bp is still high. If it does not go down and the baby is in distress then they will induce me early i am 34 going on 35 weeks so i am trying to think postive
Angelfish-you will be ok and so will bub 35 weeks for a baby to be born is out of the danger period yes they are still small and might need a little care but they class 37 weeks full term.
The doctor told me yesterday my bub would have a good chance at 28 weeks but they do really well after 32 weeks so that is where i am aiming to get without anymore spotting the worst part is the bed rest it can get pretty boring but our little bubs are worth it i have not been put on bed rest yet just very limited in what i can do.
Angelfish - It's hard not to get nervous when they take your BP! Every time I see the big velcro strap my heart starts pounding, lol. My dr says I have 'white coat syndrome' hehe. Here's hoping that's all the high BP means, and try to get some good rest. It might be a blessing to be ordered to rest before bubby arrives. (boring, but a blessing all the same, I hope!)FX you can keep him/her in there another couple of weeks. If not, as Ferrals said, 35 weeks is just fine.
Sunshine - Enjoy your time with your parents, I only wish I had the same relationship with my mum. (long story)
Ferrals - How are you doing today, hun? No more spotting I hope.
AFM - Looking forward to visiting our newlywed friends for NYE tonight. Of course I'll be mostly an onlooker during the celebrations (drinking) but I'm just excited to get all dressed up! It's a rare occasion these days. Sometimes I miss getting up every morning and putting on my face and having my hair nicely done for work. I hope you all have a lovely night wherever you may be, and of course........ OUR BABIES WILL BE BORN THIS YEAR!! I just had to say it a bit early for practise.
thank you everyone i just want her to be okay. She has been so active for the past couple of days. I have to go in tommorow and get my bp taken at the hosptial i can say one thing that this dr office is taking great care of me. I have one thing to think of if the baby was at risk i would not be home right now. And BF actually cooked me dinner tonight
Tegam: Congratulations on the arrival of little Molly! Well done!
T-Hopes: So excited to join you here also. Praying i get to stay! So excited for you that you are feeling flutters now. I got them about 16wks with DD and there's no feeling like it. Very cool : )
Melster: Hope you are feeling better soon. There is help available if you need it. Depression can start in pg and it's good to get help if you find yourself feeling down for a while. Here's hoping it's just a bad week...
Ferrals: I know it was to be expected but still can understand why it is not nice to see actual spotting. I hope it eases up for you and your gorgeous little miss can hold off another few weeks for you. (Also, thanks so much for your persie about symptoms in pg: I know in theory i don't have to have lots of symptoms to have a healthy baby but it's great to hear from someone who's actually had that experience before with their pregnancies)
Kellbell: I've had some heartburn in the last few days. I thought Rennie's chewable tablets were ok in pregnancy. Anyone else know if that's accurate? (I suppose I should have double checked with pharmacist but i thought they were ok).
Forshelby: I remember feeling some of those discomforts like you are having when I was later in pg with DD. I remember feeling grateful that it was only temporary and I would get my body back at some point! But of course there were good bits too. I loved having a preggie belly and feeling baby move. I so hope i get to have that again. PS: Did you work out what you were craving?
angelfish: I hope you can get the rest you need. Glad your BF cooked you dinner. As Ferrals said you are very close to full term now and baby would likely do well from this time forwards but I can imagine you hope she's stay put for a little longer if possible.
Sunshine and Stars: Hello and happy new year.
Dory: I loved your idea about looking at baby's little fingers and thinking 'I made this!'
Sunshine & Stars - you're welcome! Is MD maryland? Hope the visit goes well and you're not snowed in or you'renot stuck with visitors who are snowed in!
Angel - how was your BP today? And you are right - you wouldn't be at home if there was trouble. So good on you for finding something positive! So proud of you!
Tegam - hello gorgeous mumma - hope you are enjoying those mummy cuddles.
Hiya all - just wanted to share a web site I found today ( while looking for memorial candles)... hope you get as much out of it as I did. Wishing you a joyful new year - the year your babies will be born! Yay.
Angelfish - Hang in there hun, great to hear your DP cooked you a meal.
Possum - No, I never can figure out those random cravings and it drives me crazy! I prefer the specific ones because then I can get what I'm after and be satisfied!
Dory - I'll have to check that link out sometime.
AFM - One more happy new year to everyone before I finish getting ready for our outing. It feels soooo good to have makeup on and my hair straightened! lol.. small things amuse me these days.
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Pregnancy after Miscarriage or Loss ~ January 2011
I hope it resolves itself and you can avoid a hospital stay.
It might sound really morbid, but we kept thinking 'what happens when we're both dead and buried?' We want this child to have someone they can feel connected to, and to still have a family even when we're gone. I would hate for this little one to wind up all alone, even if they are all grown up. From the man who said NEVER EVER to having even one, this is extremely exciting and shows just how much things can change. And the best part? I didn't have to badger him at all, he just came to me one day and said 'let's have a baby'. It's sooo wonderful to hear him say he wants to do it again when number 1 hasn't even arrived yet.
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