HI all, it has been such a long time since i posted...i have now lost four little angel babies. I remember when I first joined in here i would read others sad experience and thought how awful it must be to lose more than one baby, i never thought for a moment it would happen twice let alone 4 times.
Anyway the clincher is I am 12 weeks pregnant tomorrow, I went to have the NT scan and the sac was empty WTF! I cant believe it????
So the thing is, I had the scan, he started with an abdominal scan and my uterus was tilted too far back to see so he switched to vaginal and there is clearly no 12 week baby there but there was something...the dr said so, and made comments like "there is something in the corner here" he measured its rate as it was flashing and it came back at 139 BPM. He said well theres definitely a fetal heart, he then continued to poke and prod and finished with, it must be blood flow... he told me it wasnt a viable pregnancy and go home as I would likely miscarry in the next 3-4 days.
Thing is I left there believing him and then the more I thought about it, the more I question it. I googled...i know...(sigh) and tilted uterus' have been known to hide babys, there is even a story of a lady who didnt see her 12 week baby and then at 18 weeks there it was...
Do you think that if it was blood flow it would be running at 139 BPM?? I dont know, I just thought maybe if my uterus was tilted enough that maybe bubby was hidden behind the corner or something. Its like he thought it was a baby and then changed his mind and stopped looking at it.
I decided to do afollow up scan tomorrow with a different place, I rang them and told them what happened and they were happy for me to come in. I called my midwife and she said definitely get a second opinion as crazier things have happened.
If this is loss number 5 I cant believe it, especially when i thought I was 12 weeks, we were so excited to have finally made it.
Sorry this is all about me today, thanks for reading. PLease share anything you have, its my last shread of hope tomorrow, i really dont think I can do it again...