Ally, bless you for thinking I'm the font of all knowledge!

Cleft Lip is detected at the 20w scan, but as this is classed as a severe enough "deformity/disability" for a termination, some sonographers won't tell you about it. This is a completely treatable and fixable condition and the poor child who can be just 6-7w from birth and then terminated because it isn't "beautiful" enough for the parents! Yes, so that's the law in the UK and that's why you aren't always told about it.

Hole in the heart: actually, right up until the baby is born they have a small hole in the heart, so it's normal to have this and doesn't mean any treatment is required. I believe the hole closes up when the baby takes the first breath at birth, before then the lungs don't work so it's a way to ensure that the lungs get some oxygenated blood for their development. I could be wrong about this though, but that's what I've been told.

As for the bone - was it the ribs? Women have one more rib than men. But I've not heard of that being used as a way of determining gender on an ultrasound before.