thread: Anyone gone off sex?

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Nov 2008
    U.S.A
    1,459

    Unhappy

    after reading everyones posts I just want to cry. It's not fair. I am the COMPLETE opposite. My Fiance has completely lost interest in having sex with me. We used to have one of the best sex lives I could ever ask for. We used to have sex almost every day. Than when I became pregnant I started to notice a change that happened gradually. In the beginning of my pregnancy our sex life only changed a little bit and when I asked if it was because I was pregnant he just said he was tired. As I progressed through my pregnancy more and more he was "tired". I have even walked in on him masterbatng (embarrasing) or looking at porn on our computer. Keep in mind my fiance is not a pervert at all. And he knows my take on porn is vulgar and demeaning to women. I have even confronted him and told him I feel really insecure now because of this. I have even put on some lingerie. He has never had the guts to say to me it is because I am pregnant. He just says he is not in the mood. It is causing so many problems between us. It hurts to know he would rather look at porn than make love to me. I feel unattractive and a little unloved.

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Oct 2008
    Queensland
    105

    Jessica - I really feel for you, I think you need to talk to him a bit more about this and make sure he really understands how this is making you feel. My DH was a bit scared about hurting Peanut and didn't want to do anything for quiet awhile, now he can't keep his hands off me and thinks I am the sexiest i have ever been, pitty I am totaly not interested Maybe he is just worried about doing somthing to hurt you or the baby, I hope you can have a good chat so you don't feel down about it

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Jun 2008
    Country Victoria
    245

    Hey Jess,

    I am so sorry that your feeling like that hun, and having such a hard time with it.. I am not in any way condoning what your DP is doing - but maybe look at it from another angle. Is it possible that his lack of interest in sex ha nothing to with you at all. Maybe he is funny about DTD because of bubs?? I know that more than once my DP has commented that he feels wrong doing it because of the baby - scared he is going to poke it type thing (total irrational - i dont think there is a penis out there big enough to actually do that! ) Kind of like that part from Knocked up where he freaks out when they are having sex because the baby moves. Just another angle to look at it from - if thats what it is you should be able to talk him through it and get things on track.. Have you spoken about your lack of sex openly with him and told him what your feeling?? Good luck hun - let us know how you go xxxx

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Nov 2008
    U.S.A
    1,459

    Unhappy

    See thats just it. If he honestly told me that the reason he doesn't want to have sex is because he doesn't want to hurt the baby I would be so much more understanding. It just hurts though because part of me thinks it is my body not baby. I think my pregnant body grosses him out... a lot. I am a very little person with a small frame and so my belly is very noticeable. I think what is also harder is the fact that my fiance and I didn't know each other very long before we got pregnant. So i think we didn't get to achieve that level of comfort some couples have with each other when they have been together for 2 plus years. I just get so depressed over this. We both planned this pregnancy but ever since it all we do is fight. I know some people say just wait until the baby is born, guys mature faster once they are officially daddies. Yet, I am a realist and I know you cant change people, so how can a baby change this. I just miss feeling sexy to him.....

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jul 2008
    Victoria
    1,064

    I have totally gone off sex.
    Mine started when we started TTC - I think the pressure to concieve just took the enjoyment out of it..
    Then I got pregnant, lost the baby at 9 weeks and had to have a D&C - Not the most romantic thing to go through!
    6 weeks later I found out I was pregnant again... Can we say emotional rollarcoaster???
    Since then I have suffered sever morning sickness, extreme tiredness, several instances of spotting and cramping where it was a concern we were losing another baby.
    Regardless to say, sex has been the last thing on my mind!!!
    However, DP finds all the changes to my body very sexy and his sex drive has gone up...

    This is all rather depressing for me considering prior to TTC, my sex drive rivaled that of a 18yr old boy!!!