To find out, or to not find out?

[samantha-jane]

From the moment I fell pregnant I've had a very strong feeling my little one is a boy and was happy to wait for the surprise but the suspense is killing me...is my gut feeling right ? that's what is making me change my mind, 20 week scan soon so I can't help myself I'm hoping to find out the sex...to see if my intution is spot on

[Miss E]

This is really a decision that only you and your DH can make...

But my DH and I decided not to find out and now that we're literally days away from having bubs we are so glad that we don't know. I've actually requested in my birth plan that DH is the one to announce the sex of our baby, not the OB or midwife. I can't wait for moment that he tells me that we've had a boy or a girl, I think it will be such a special thing to share between just the two of us.

Initially DH wanted to find out and it was me who didn't. I know a lot of people who have found out and shared it with everyone. In a few cases they've even shared the name with the world months before their bubs comes. Personally, when their bubs has arrived I've found that I'm no where near as excited about the babies arrival, there's no what sex is it, what's their name etc, just a oh thats nice, if you know what I mean.

Personally I want my child's arrival in the world to be marked by excitement and happiness from everyone that we know. When I shared these thoughts with DH months ago he tended to agree. Now, we are both so happy that we don't know, and I think once you make the decision not to find out you stop 'dying' to know iykwim...

In terms of finding clothes, it really hasn't been that hard. And I do know what people mean about not wanting to call them 'it' - I also hate that. We just make a point of saying bubs instead of 'it'.

Whatever you and your DH decide will be right for you. Good luck with your pregnancy and journey into motherhood. x

[Now we're 3]

It 100% comes down to personal choice as to what works for you both but one thing you will find it how passionate people can be as to whether you should or shouldn't find out. I spend one evening with two of my bfs telling me ALL the reasons that I should find out (both of them had) only to be waylaid by one of their husbands afterwards who told me that I must NOT find out. (He didn't his wife knew but kept it secret)

I posted the same question a few weeks before our 12 week scan and found that the answers really helped me to make my decision. Originally I had been in the find out camp but then changed to the not find out. While I liked and understood the reasons behind why to find out I preferred the idea of it being my husband who will tell me what we've had rather than the sonographer who we will never see again. Several ladies pointed out that this is especially important if the birth isn't what you have planned ie c/s instead of natural.

My husband however had wanted to find out but agreed not to for me. He keeps saying that he wants a boy and has told me that either way he's going to tell me its a boy when its born. Am fairly sure he is only joking but would love to see my OBs and the midwifes faces if he carried through with this threat and it was a girl

Best of luck with making your decision either way.

PS if you don't know you can also have a giggle with your girlsfriends doing the various old wives tales to guess the sex