To find out or not find out ????

[Ozziehoffy]

I haven't found out with any of them. I mostly loved not knowing. I actually think it bugged other people not knowing more than it did us..lol. I also liked being able to answer people who asked what are you having with the answer "a baby" cos I knew they wanted to know girl or boy and it always got them. haha. Mind you they never believe that you don't know the gender anyway!

In short, for me the surprise at the end of the cooking process and at the end of labour trumps knowing before If I were to have another I still wouldn't find out.

[Arimeh]

We found out with DS because I wanted to know if I got a girl first up (I wanted a girl - got a boy) so I think knowing that helped and prepared me for reality.

We tried to find out with DD but we couldn't until my 36 week scan and my OB told us that she was a girl.

We're not finding out this time incase I don't get the birth that I want, I can still have a surprise at the end of it to make it just a little bit sweeter.

[tk1999]

DP and I both wanted a surprise... for me it was a matter of not having the opportunity for many surprises in my life - I love surprises but am such a typical virgo that I have to be in control of so many things that I probably don't give people an opportunity to surprise me but this is one time that I can have that surprise and better yet I get to plan to have a surprise (yes the sick and twisted controlling part of me still gets its fix!)

We had our scan yesterday and I was so anxious that bubs would flash us and the surprise would be over but bubs cooperated and we have no idea what it is other than a human... both DP and I walked out of the scan and admitted that we had been trying to look for hints just so we could know but we didn't get any and we are both really happy with that - though we would love to know I think it will be great when bubs is born and DP can tell me - we have had a xxx.

[ubba82]

We found out with our first 2 babies, only becasue we could! This will be our last baby and I really dont want to find out becasue I just want that "push! push! It's a ........!!". Hubby wants to find out cause he wants to be organized and thinks he can keep it a secret from me and everyone I told him either we both find out or neither of us do, so I will get my way!

Good Luck with your decision!

[Taurean]

Oh this is such a personal decision - and it can be quite a tough one at that! One thing I did hear recently which I thought was a really good point is regardless of when you find out (ie at the scan or after you deliver), you really do get a suprise either way but you just find out a bit earlier with one of the options!

We easily decided on a suprise at the end of the labour though. My sister found out with both her boys and it took the fun out of it in a way - that is just my personal opinion though.

I'm a super organised person but I don't believe that I need to know to be organised for our baby's arrival. The nursery is neutral (but that is what we wanted anyway) and we're buying neutral clothing to get us by in the beginning as I know we'll get heaps of little clothes when bubs arrives and my mum will be most happy to hit the shops and buy up big once her grandchild is here.

Another thing that made my decision easy is if I knew the sex, I'd go OVERBOARD on buying clothes so it was the safest option for our credit cards if I didn't know.

We also love all the guessing that is going on (and all the old wives tales I hear about my skin, my hair growth, the size of my belly, my eating habbits, etc) and most of all, I will love to hear those precious words, hopefully from my husbands mouth, when our baby finally arrives: 'it's a......'

Have fun making the decision!

[Jewel]

With our first, I didn't mind if we found out or not but DP was so keen to find out so we did. We only told a couple of close people so it was still a surprise for the rest. I'm actually glad we found out though. Then with DS2 we were both dying to find out.

Congrats on your pregnancy. Good luck with whatever you decide.
xox

[kitten76]

For our 4th we swayed for a boy so we just had to find out if all the tricks worked. Swaying didnt work for us .We were ecstatic to find out we were having another healthy princess though.
congrats and Good luck with you pregnancy

[JordieC]

One thing I did hear recently which I thought was a really good point is regardless of when you find out (ie at the scan or after you deliver), you really do get a suprise either way but you just find out a bit earlier with one of the options!

I agree with that totally - of course it will be a surprise just at diff times! My reason for not finding out with either is more beacuse of others. I want people to be surprised too and not expect a particular baby. Now I know of course that you don't have to tell people but once I know I would find it hard not to let it slip.

I actually dislike knowing when other sare having a particular sex and then what they are going to name it. And then if they are having planned C/S then NOTHIGN is a surprise!

I also like the anticipation of the whole pregnancy and not knowing. Good luck with your decision!

[Now we're 3]

Thanks ladies - loved all the replies and the reasons - haven't made up our minds yet maybe we'll decide on the morning of the next ultra sound ...... will let you know in two weeks what happens ................. ohhhhh decisions decisions

[roses]

I just thought I'd but in my two cents. I am due in three days with our first and we did not find out. I am 34 and DH is 41 so it may be our only too. I could have been swayed to find out but DH was so strict with not finding out. Becoming pregnant was such a lovely suprise and the whole experience has been wonderful so I'm very happy that we didn't - I can't wait to meet either my son or my daughter very soon. I feel that we are so lucky anyway that it simply doesn't matter - health is what matters the most.
I am also a highly organised person but really every nursery is beautiful whether it is gender specific or not. And forget about buying clothes - you get so so so so many things as gifts and some of our cutest gifts are jumpsuits with stars on them or one even has guitars - easily for a boy or a girl! Also - a girlfriend told me that for her not knowing really helped with that final push! LOL! Either way - your decision but nine months on - I'm glad we didn't!

[NaeNae]

We tried to find out at the 20 week scan with Nikita but the sonographer couldn't give us a straight answer because the cord was in the way. We both felt from early on that it would be a girl.

This one - because I will be through so many scans I am sure sooner or later we will see something or nothing. I liked knowing the sex so Icould prepare but now seeing that I don't care what we have so long as it bakes for 40 weeks I am not sure I will find out if we get a choice.

Still - I do like to micro manage everything so I think that part may take over eventually and I will find out

[Stevie]

we're finding out. i really wouldnt have minded waiting i was easy either way, but DH wants to know very badly. mostly because he really REALLy wants a boy first and i think if we find out and its a girl, he has plenty of time to accept it, i know that sound really bad, and he told me he would be happy either way like me, but he just said that a son is something he is really looking forward to having first.
and i agree with all the ladies that mentioned the bonding part, at the moment i am calling him/her "my bean" it will be good to be able to say "my little man" or " my little missy" we have picked out one name so far that we like but i dont want to go calling him that (if its a boy, as we cant think of any girls names that we BOTH like lol) coz what if after we've had the baby we look at them and go "you dont look like a.." so i wont be doign any name calling until they're in my arms
but each to their own, i can see both sides as to why or why not to find out. but im impatient and when DH said he's like to find out i was like "sweeet"

[krysalyss]

We found out. Firstly I don't think it makes it any less of a surprise. Its just that we were surprised at 19 weeks instead of 40 weeks. There is a lot ot still be surprised at when they actually arrive (eg. whose nose do they have? How long are they?). Plus knowing the sex made the journey nicer for us. Knowing who it was inside of me. There isn't a right or wrong answer for this one. Just what you want.

[Von]

Firstly congrats on your pregnancy....

I am the most impatient person there is so part of me wanted to find out what I was having but DH wanted the surprise so we waited and wow what a surprise it was just waiting for the middy or OB to say "it's a ?????" is so exciting...sure you can find out so oy know what colour to buy but it is just so easy to buy neatrul coloured bonds suits which is what my kids lived in for the first few months anyway and then add colour after you find out so much more fun buying stuff with a little person in mind who is sleeping quitly in the pram along side yo at the shops....

With my 2nd samething my impatients tried to sway me but i stayed strong and again the biggest surprise on the day when you find out what you have been feeling you kick for the past 9 months....

[Inertia]

I found out with the first 2 - didn't with the second two, and then did with the last two.

Having gone both sides of the fence - knowing what I know now and feeling how I do now, if you dont mind buying a couple of white bonds baby suits, putting the rest of the money away until baby is born and just getting neutral big things... then I'd go for the surprise. It felt more natural. I didnt notice with Angie, but with Harry I felt like I had been ripped off part of the birth experience - and no doubt will now too but I needed to be better prepared as money is tight all over and I have two other siblings expecting around the same time. One is having a boy and so we can now send Harrys baby clothes to them as we need girls stuff. Its a village thing.

But if I could have gone the surprise without pondering costs and the like....

[ElleJay]

BG - That's the kind of thing that I thought - That your not there just to see if its a boy or girl (at the birth)
I can't wait to read you BA too BG

[Fleur]

I found out with all 4 of them...
I'm surprised this time at the number of people who have said 'but why?' or who have said 'oh I guess if it was your first you would leave it be a surprise'...uh, no.
Glad to know there are more like me out there! Like the others I just had to know! to plan etc, (and I'm totally with BloominRoses on the yellow, white & green thing).
I can't imagine not knowing... it's just not me... my sister is due 10 days before me with her 1st & she isn't finding out..
I really think it's up to you, I don't think it will matter once bub is here (and I always keep in mind that the scan might just be wrong!)

Good luck, whatever you decide

[Nai]

(and I always keep in mind that the scan might just be wrong!)

Yes this is very important! I have a friend who has been told the wrong gender TWICE - with her last 2 babies! She was told they were girls and she had boys both times. Only an amnio or cvs will give you 100% accuracy. So it is good to keep in mind.