Gender Disappointment?

[Lee-Ann]

As I already have two beautiful daughters I guess part of me would like to have a boy this time around, although it doesn't matter either way and I wouldn't be disappointed if it wasn't a boy. When I think about a little boy I get a bit scared..... I just wonder how different having a boy would be. When I was pg with my two girls I really did want girls, when I was pg with my 2nd daughter I prepared myself just in case I was having a boy. I don't know why but the thought of having a boy kind of worried me.

I'm just really grateful to be pg again and although a boy would be nice I'd be happy either way as health is of the upmost importance.

All my family are saying I'm having a girl again and even the people at work are saying I'm having a girl. It's quite funny really cos when I first fell pg I thought "this is a boy" but now I'm not so sure.... oh well.... in three weeks hopefully I'll find out for sure and then I'll be able to buy pink or blue stuff, I can't wait!

[Fire Fly]

I think its interesting that alot of mums would prefer a girl over a boy. Even though they've already had a girl (like me) they'd still prefer a girl.

Wonder why this is. Is it because we are women and want to dress up these little people in pretty clothes and play with there hair, where as boys are rough and ready and getting a cuddle out of them is like asking them to eat all there vegetables.

Just thought id write this as i find it interesting.

Im sure though haveing said all the above that mothers who have had boys would maybe prefer boys because again they know where they stand with them. Some mothers would like girls i know.

What do you all think?

[Lee-Ann]

Jillian I have heard so many good things about having boys and having seen a friend of mine with two adorable boys it seems that they do tend to be a lot smoochier. My older daughter isn't quite as affectionate, she can be quite aloof, she's more affectionate with her dad. My second daughter is a real mummy's girl, but would you believe she's more of a "tom boy", when she was little she use to love tools and cars and stuff. She's not into girly girl clothes and loves her skateboard and those sort of clothes.

I think having girls could be a comfort zone type thing, I never thought about dress ups, hair and make up etc, dance classes and all that stuff. I think it's because I'm female I thought maybe I'd do better with a girl, I don't know, I also think it has to do with my relationship with my mum, it's never really been good and that close, and I really wanted a daughter to give lots of love and affection to. My older daughters loves her clothes and having her hair done all nice etc. Whereas my younger daughter, is a pony-tail only girl, who gets around on a skateboard although she loves to show me dances and sings to me all the time!

[Rouge]

Jillian IKWYM! I have 2 close friends who both have boys, and both their sons have always been MORE clingy and cuddly than Paris. Thats not to say that Paris doesn't give cuddles, as I get them ALL the time. Yes I do believe boys are different, but not in a bad way just different chemisty is all. And I do have a girly girl, but I also know I could have a tomboy as I was when I was a kid. I also know of little boys who are very gentle and not rough at all. A perfect example of this is at Kinder, we have a set of twin girls. One is more girly then Paris, only wears dresses, very gentle and sweet doesn't like to get dirty etc etc and the other will only wear pants, love spiderman talks in a gruff voice and plays with the boys not the girls! LOL!

Anyway thats just my 2c

*hugs*
Cailin

[Melinda]

I have a friend who has 2 adorable boys and they quite clearly love their Mummy very much by the cuddles and kisses they shower on her!!

I don't think all boys are rough and tumble, just as I don't think all girls are girly girls (I've certainly NEVER been a girly girl!). I think it's very much like you said Cailin.....just different chemistry. And every child is so very different to the next, as is the way every parent chooses to raise their child - no two are ever the same!

[Adnil]

being pregnant with my first i really dont know!! i think i like the idea of a boy first, so if there is a girl next he can be a big brother protecting her?

but it has been interesting to read all of your feelings on this,

Linda

[Lucy]

We are expecting a boy with this pregnancy, and as such I have chatted with both my Mum and MIL about the differences they found between boys and girls. (My Mum had 3 boys and 2 girls & MIL has 2 boys and 1 girl)

They both seem to echo each other in their comments and that is:

~ All children are different, regardless of gender
~ Children change in their levels of affection depending on their age/stage

One thing they also both tend to agree on is that their boys were generally more affectionate with their Mummies! (I know I was always a lot more affectionate with my Daddy!)

This is an interesting thread, and no doubt one that will forever bring up all sorts of interesting comparisons.............

[Mumma2three]

Because I was kind of hoping for another girl this pregnancy, I have purposely been imagining it's a boy and thats all I think about. It has really worked, and now Im equally excited. We will find out the sex in 3 weeks, but Im happy with whatever outcome we get. xo

[ram3113]

Hello everyone,

I found this forum quite by accident, but I feel compelled to reply. I just had my 2nd son, and I'm feeling quite depressed. I wish I could say any of the positive things I've read from you guys in these posts. Throughout this pregnancy I KNEW I was having a girl. I even bought pink outfits, blankets, etc. However, my dream was not to come true. I had another boy. Yes, I am thankful he is healthy, but I am so sad that my little girl is not here. I actually feel as if he has taken her place, or that she has died. I keep reading the post by the woman who was sure she was having her 3rd or 4th boy, but she actually had a girl. I wish that had happened to me. I hate feeling this way, and I can't get over it. He is now 3 months old and I feel no better. I'm even afraid to try again and have another boy and go through this again. I feel like this was my last chance. Why couldn't I just have had my baby girl like so many do?

Feeling sad and miserable,

ram3113

[christy]

awww ram *hugs* Although Matilda was my first child, I felt all along that she was a boy, and I bought blue things, and was ready for my little boy to come, when "he" was a "she" I was so upset I needed heaps of time to grieve that loss. *hugs* We have an article on the main site about gender dissappointment here and in another forum here we have been discussing this too.

[~Jo~]

I voted that I was happy with either gender. What annoyed me was the fact that so many people assumed we were trying for a boy after having 3 gorgeous girls. Even after we had Olivia..we were at the shopping centre and a complete stranger came up to us and asked if we had got our little boy. [-X I felt so upset that people would feel like that. We have said consistently that we are hoping for a healthy baby. Not that I dont appreciate when other people might want a specific sex..thats completely understandable..but i dont think it should be assumed.

Jo

[Phteven]

When I was pregnant with Yasin I thought that I wouldn't mind what gender the baby was but at the ultra-sound when they told me it was a boy I was really relieved.
Up until I got a BFP I thought that I wouldn't care if I had a boy or a girl but the second I saw that second line I found myself hoping for another boy.
I'm sure that I would love a daughter just as much as I would love a son it but I've never really been a girly girl and I'm much more comfortable with the idea of sons (or maybe a tom-boy). Also I worry that my DH would be really over-protective if he had a daughter.
Now that I've owned up to it I've probably jinxed myself into having a daughter. 8-[

[barbie-up]

Hi - a friend of a friend is due to have her third son soon and she openly admits shes devastated about it. She's already talking about trying again for a girl. But she is going to see someone about her feelings. There must be some sort of support thing for women like this.

I have a 3yo daughter and found out last Friday we are expecting a boy in November, and whats the first thing people say when you tell them 'how lucky, a pidgeon pair' - I hate to tell them I would have liked to have had another girl. I'm actually quite nervous about the thought of raising a son. A daughter you can try to model on or against your own upbringing but what do you do with a boy ?

And then this morning, I heard 'little ray of sunshine' on the radio while I was driving and I burst into tears. No more talk of a Matilda or Amelia or Tara - now I have to deal with circumscion !

Barb.

[Tracey]

We only want a healthy baby... I don't care what gender it is & neither does DH.
I am excited & nervous about it being a boy, coz I really don't know what to do with one, but at the same time I had no idea how to raise a girl until DD was in my arms & it all just happened.

A work colleague is devastated that she is having a girl (It's their first & I am baffled that she is SO upset about ahving a girl)
But her sister has 3 sons & she has only ever had nephews so it's all so dauniting for her to be having a girl!?

No matter what we have this time we will have one more & if we have 3 girls we will love them as much as we would have had they been boys!

I am a tom boy too, so is our daughter, probably will get one girly girl & not know what to do with her! #-o

[BellyBelly]

*bump*

Don't forget to check out: https://www.bellybelly.com.au/pregna...disappointment

[*mitch*]

I dont know what our baby is as yet.... will know in 10 days...

I really really want it to be a girl.. & am not sure how I will cope if it happens to be a boy (DH has 2 boys already from previous realationship).... So I guess it is likely that it may be a boy... but I still cant help desperatley wanting it to be a girl....

[kazz30]

I had a feeling with this pregnancy, that Declan was going to be a boy and he is . It didn't bother me either way though as long as bubs was going to be healthy.

[Lulu]

Mitch, I had two stepsons, and when exH and I were trying to fall pg, I really wanted another girl.

When I fell pg with Mitchell, I first didn't want a boy I think because I compared with the exH kids.

I'm probably not making any sense, what I mean is, how much of wanting a child of any sex has to do with what the daddy wants???

I think we feel a pressure to "produce" what our partner may want. I know I did with Mitchell, I re-read my old post and I remember being pretty stressed as DP was always raving on about how much he wanted a boy, and I didn't really want one (the exh's boys were pretty high maintenance), boys were smelly, whingy things in my eyes.

When that boy was born I fell so HARD in love with him, my SON! I couldn't stop saying that. I started getting teary at the stupid margarine ad with the big strapping fella giving his mum a kiss!

If its a boy (which you know I'm betting that it is!) he will be YOUR boy. Try not to worry, all will be well

XXOOO

Lucy