thread: Has anyone had a family member die while pregnant? Did it affect name choice?

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Taking a ride on my grdonkey :D
    2,716

    Very sorry to hear of your losses, ladies.

    I quite like Carla as a first or middle name, personally I would have Carlo as a middle name, if for no other reason than it makes things easier at family gatherings (ie you know which person is being spoken about), but obviously the choice is up to you and your partner.

    When I was pregnant with DD, her due date was the same date my grandfather died several years before. Mum hinted that she would like us to consider naming our child for him if it was a boy and was born on the due date, but DH and I really don't like the name Lewis so thankfully we had a girl, and was born two days before her due date - no awkwardness!! (And no, I'm not a fan of Louise either so that was out too!)

    The baby I'm carrying now was conceived within a week or so of DH's mother being murdered - I went off the Pill on DD's birthday (the Sunday) and MiL was killed on the following Wednesday. I toyed with the idea of naming this baby for her, leaning more toward a middle name rather than a first name (I think it would just be a bit painful for all our family if we were to give this child her name as a first name), but we mainly decided to stick with our own ideas on names because Briona (my MiL) was technically DH's stepmother (although he has never had any contact with his real mother since she left him and his dad as a baby, he doesn't know to this day whether she's alive or dead, and Bri has been DH's mum since he was 5 so she's all he knew), and DH's half-brother is her biological son so we wanted to leave the option open to him if/when he has children to name his daughter for his beautiful mum.

  2. #2
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    Add *TripleJ* on Facebook

    Jan 2009
    Diggers Rest VIC
    2,945

    im sorry to hear about the losses
    my baby is going to be named after my stepfathers best friend that passed a while ago
    and my sis in law sees spirits and she has seen his in my parents house and i was there on my birthday and she said she saw him getting upset trying to look for me but i was outside in a tent but that made me want to call my son jamie because this is when he was concieved i dont normally believe in that sort of thing but in this case i do because the circumstances of his death would stop him from moving on so yeah

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    Brisbane south side
    470

    Thanks for your kind words. The funeral was jan 17, but my partner is still finding it hard (being only child and all). We have decided, that the baby will carry his middle name (Carlo) if a boy. I won't find out the sex of the baby til march 13 3d/4d scan (the 19 week scan, baby had crossed legs. I was a little sad about that as Carlo asked what the baby was (even as he was dying :-( ). But Alby says he feels his Dad's spirit around him. I think that is such a blessing. My Mum often says she feels her late Mother around her as well.

    JwithJ: That's a nice thing you are doing naming the baby after your Stepfather's best friend.

    Gothmum: I'm so sorry to hear about DH's Mother being murdered. I agree, I think it would be painful to name the baby after her. And you leave the option for DH's half brother to name any children after her later on (when the pain is not so fresh).
    Last edited by CathyS; January 29th, 2009 at 08:14 AM.

  4. #4
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    Oct 2009
    Lalor, VIC
    5,051

    I was going to have my Nan's name (Margaret) as one of the middle names for my first daughter anyway, so when she died it didn't make a difference to that. But we're going to be using the male equivalent of her middle name (Frances/Francis) as a second middle name if Cookie's a boy. That was decided in the backyard as the paramedics were taking her body out of her house, and hasn't changed since (IIRC, I was 8w6d when she died)... The only reason it's not the male variant of her first name is I can't find one for Margaret

  5. #5
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    Add ~Lashes~ on Facebook

    Aug 2010
    south eastern melbourne
    2,533

    i was in hospital 25w pregnate with ds2 when my gramps lost his long battle, as i was unable to leave for his funeral (intensive care) i thought about giving him gramps's name as a middle, Albert, but decided it was best left for one of his daughters to use as they were closest. my newest cusion now shares his gramps's name for a middle, and it couldnt suit him better!
    my df is named after his unkle who was told at birth wouldnt make his 1st birthday (when df was born he was 17) but he is still kicking on! FIL had planed to name his first son after his brother since they were kids.
    my name is that of my great grandma on mums side, and as dad pointed out when i met him, my great grandma on his side to! (but mum wasnt aware of that)

  6. #6
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    Jun 2010
    Springfield, QLD
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    One of my middles names (Meriton) is after my great grandfather, the day of his funeral my mother found out she was pregnant, then I was born three weeks perm on his birthday... apparently I have his music ability :-)

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Oct 2009
    Bonbeach, Melbourne
    7,177

    DF's father recently passed away. We were going to name a son Peter Jack Mark (Peter for my dad who passed 5 years ago, Jack for my bro and Mark for my uncle who passed years ago) but have since decided on Peter George Mark, to remember both our fathers