hoping for a certain gender?

[Stevie]

Is it bad to secretly hope for a certain gender?

For examle i secretly hope to be having a girl, but i can tell you honestly that if it were a boy i would not in any way be disappointed!!!

What are your ladies opinions?

[visitor1]

Not bad at all.....i really wanted DD2 to be a boy...she wasnt and i then suffered severe gender disappointment over it.

[Trillian]

Oh it's completely normal to have a preference one way or the other, and it doens't mean that if you got the opposite that you wouldn't love them any less at all, but sometimes it can be quite severe and you may need some counselling for it.

I think sometimes you prefer one over the other for various reasons - some want a first born son to continue the family name, others want a mother/daughter mother/son relationship etc. I really wanted our first to be a boy, not really sure why - partly because of the firstborn son thing but it wasn't definitively why I wanted a boy.

[Jellyfish]

I think it is fairly natural to have a bit of a preference. I was hoping DD would be a girl but of course, I would have been just as happy if she had been a little boy. At my 20 weeks scan, we were told she was female but I didn't let myself believe it until she was actually born and kept telling everyone I thought it was a boy to protect my own heart a little. I hope that doesn't sound bad... it is hard to explain!

[Stevie]

JB i understand what your saying
i wont be disappointed in anyway whichever way it decides to go.
im so excited to find out

[Inertia]

I was hoping my bump was going to be a boy - but that is a long possibly irrational sounding story I wont go into again.

I am not dissapointed I am gaining another princess - just scared.

[Arimeh]

I'm hoping for both genders. Both have their really strong points. So I'm a bit stuffed cos I'm definitely not having twins.. LOL

[Indadhanu]

I hoped for a boy, mostly because of my relationship with my mother, so when we found out at 18 weeks Jazz was a girl I cried and went through the worst disappointment I'd even felt... i had hoped for a boy, and the fear I felt about having a girl was almost overwhelming... I felt a lot of shame for the disappointment I felt, but you can't help what you feel and hope for. I did truly wonder how I would be able to mother a girl... I know with time I accepted it more, and I remember laying on the operating table during the c/s and thinking "OMG what am I going to do if its a boy?!?!?", so I had done a huge 180! Now i can't imagine it any other way... As long as you are honest with yourself anf let yourself grieve if thats something you need to do, or at least let yourself feel, you'll get through it. You can love your baby :hugs: xxxxx

[helle]

I'm hoping for both genders. Both have their really strong points. So I'm a bit stuffed cos I'm definitely not having twins.. LOL

haha, i was the same! Kind of alternating between how wonderful it would be to have blue or a pink.

[Tess]

Hi
Perfectly normal question I think - when I was pregnant with DD I really wanted a girl, this was mainly because I had just lost my little boy, and could not face the thought of replacing him.

Now I am pregnant again I am very confused as to what I want. I think to be honest I would prefer a girl as it will be cheaper as far as clothes as concerned!!

Anyway good luck with the scan hope all goes well.

[BeautifulMadness]

totally normal, i remember when they told me DS was going to be a girl i lived with that from 20weeks till 37 ( when he was born by c/s) and she came out a he it took me 2-3 mths to get over it.

[kitty]

we've just found out that #2 is a boy. I was disappointed as I wanted a little girl.

Today Ifound out that "friends" of ours are expecting their first and it's a girl - just as the wife wanted. I've spent all day sobbing and even now am on the brink of tears

I just hope that this feeling will pass and that when #2 is born I'll love him just the same as I do with my first... but I'm worried I won't and won't get over this feeling

[Tanya]

You will love him, Kitty. Don't doubt that for an instant.

(((hugs)))

[Jaffaz]

Hi Kitty, my DH and I were also VERY shocked to find out that we are expecting another Boy (i'm suppost to be keeping that a secret oops). DH has 2 sons from his 1st marriage so this will be boy #4 for him.

We both just sort of expected that it would be a girl so when we were told otherwise we both laughed and said to the US tech "no really what is it?". I have girls names picked out and still think maybe the US tech got it wrong (yes i'm in a bit of denial).

But i know 95% it will be a boy and it took a week or two but i'm ok with that now. Just give yourself some time for it to sink in. I still get a little bit sad when i look at all the little girls clothing at the shops, but i know that this little man will be loved and i wouldn't change a thing. I also made a mental list of all the positives of having another boy, so maybe that might help.

Take care and give it some time

[BhoysGirl]

kitty, big . There is a gender disappointment group that you can apply to join, if you want to talk about it more. I'm sure that you'll love your number 2 just as much as you love number 1, but it's easy to say, and talking to people who've been through what you're experiencing can really help.

[Olive]

i though DD1 was a boy, mainly because i was worried due to my relationship with my mum! i was stoked she was a girl, when pregnant the secont time DH and i both secretly wanted girl, and she was!! but would have been happy with either