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Thread: losing patience with toddler!

  1. #1
    Rachella Guest

    Default losing patience with toddler!

    Hi all
    Am 25 weeks and getting very short fused. My almost 4 year old has started just saying "I don't want to" when I ask him to do something & when I ask him to stop/do something he often shuts his ears off. I am yelling more and just generally getting tired and grumpy with it all.
    Any ideas please????

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Feb 2004


    I hear ya Rachel. I'm 28 weeks & my almost 3 year old is doing similar things, I think they know mummy can't chase after them so well anymore so they try it on more than ever before. No suggestions here, but lots of hugs & sympathy!

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Boyne Island


    my 4 and a half yr old is doing this to me... Isaac throws himself down and whines and squeals..

    I am not much help jjust wanted you to know you weren't alone

  4. #4


    I'm feeling short fused too, I'm blaming pg hormones because usually I am sssoo patient.

    I have no suggestions for you though.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Jul 2007


    Hi, I went through the same thing.
    Best I could do is try to make sure there was plenty of engagement for dd that didn't involve me.
    So have the grandmother over more often (or even better, send her there), get out of the house with her and take her on playdates, it never seemed as bad if we weren't at home.
    Otherwise every time I needed her to do something (come for a changed nappy, meal, anything) she would literally run in the other direction, and I'd just get angry.

  6. #6
    Rachella Guest


    thanks all. nice to know i am not alone.
    bought some new playdough, colouring books etc... that helps a little re distractions.
    Generally though, things seem worse not better (ie tantrums - yes, I agree I think he knows I will give in sooner) Baby is tiring me out already (only 24 weeks)as sleeping is awkward, with lots of kicks in bladder.

    Any other advice would be great!!

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, Australia


    Sounds very normal to me!!! I don't know if there is much you can do about it but change the way you deal with it / think about it. I know the last year before my daughter started school was very trying, she was so ready and I wasn't up to stimulating her as much as I could as I was so exhausted! It is hard work.

    Two books which will give you plenty of great ideas:

    The Science of Parenting by Margot Sunderland
    Toddler Tactics by Pinky McKay

    Can you also try extra care for her so you can have a rest and get less frustrated? Occasional care or something like that? Or take her to a play centre once a week and let her run riot while you have a cuppa?
    Kelly xx

    Creator of, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    Follow me in 2015 as I go Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team and many wonderful members who have been so supportive since 2003.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Jun 2003


    Consistancy and boundaries. Whilst I know you might not have the energy but maybe establish a "thinking spot" for quiet time when he isn't listening. We have the thinking chair and the thinking step in our house and it sure does stop me from blowing my lid (yes sometimes I'm not perfect) but it gives them time out and me time out so I can calm down LOL! I know it sounds harsh but you need to try and establish some boundaries now, because its even harder when bubs is here. Paris was 3 when I was pg with Seth (nearly 4) and we went through similar power struggles. I just made sure I took more time to communicate, follow through with promises (be it promises of attention or consequences of actions) and try to have some quiet activity time together daily, where you can sit down and do something together. Even if its puzzles, or watching their favourite show in bed. I used to nap a lot during pregnancy so when I would have a nap we'd lie in bed and have "chatters" and talk about all sorts of things, some days we'd just talk about fantasies (when I grow up my house will be...) or even just eye spy. But then you are getting the rest and they are getting the quality time.

    Goodluck Its hard I know but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Apr 2006


    I'm with most of the others in not being able to offer any real advice but just wanted to say I know exactly what you're going through too. My 9 month old is having to put up with a really grumpy, short tempered mummy a lot of the time - not that she's doing anything wrong, just that I'm sooooo tired and she's so full on. I've done what I know will keep my DD happy when I come to the realisation that I have a really short fuse at any particular time and its all getting a bit much - one day last week she had 3 baths in the day, just because it made her happy, kept her out of the cds, tvs, cupboards etc etc and I could just sit and relax. We've also been for a few drives. Maybe there's some activity your DS really enjoys that you could let him do when you feel its all getting a bit much. Good luck.

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    South Coast NSW


    I have my boys in preschool.. Jett 1 day a week and Zhai 2 days. They love it. I felt bad with jett going coz he is so young, BUT he really dislikes it when i go and drop zhai off, he starts crying coz he wants to get down and play and he cant!!
    So off he goes 1 day a week and it gives me the day to catch up on sleep/relax/read or whatever i feel like doing that day!
    Also i love daytime sleeps. I am supposed to sleep aswell but i dont and spend my time on BB.. Or organising our wedding....
    Sorry i didnt help that much, maybe get your mum or someone to watch DS for a few hours??

  11. #11
    Rachella Guest


    Hello there, thaks so much for the advice!
    I really appreciate it, I was starting to get really unmotivated about being mummy to my little man. I have started trying a few more things:
    1. Bought new bath toys and found a spot to lie down with lots of pillows while he has extra long baths and chatters to me.

    2. Got new playdough & books to occupy him for a little bit on his own.
    3. Ask mum & MIL for a little help when they can.

    Thanks, anymore ideas would be MUCH appreciated!!

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