thread: Really want a girl... but what if it is a boy...

  1. #1
    Registered User

    May 2005
    Good ole NZ !!

    Really want a girl... but what if it is a boy...

    I know this may sound selfish... but

    DH admitted this morning that he really wants Goober to be a girl... I also would love a girl, but now I am worried that if it is a Boy the we will be dissapointed...

    Had anyone else felt like this & how did you cope?

    I also have a feeling that Goober is a boy...

  2. #2
    ♥ BellyBelly's Creator ♥
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    Feb 2003
    Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, Australia

    There was a huge discussion on this but its not coming up in search...

    This is very common, so much so that I have written an article on it, but more from mums perspective: https://www.bellybelly.com.au/pregna...disappointment

    Hope it helps!
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    In 2015 I went Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team

  3. #3
    Registered User

    May 2004

    I always wanted another girl and even told myslef i was carrying a girl as everything was the same as when i was pregnant with Kimberly.
    We got to find out it was a boy at 27weeks i was a little upset and kept thinking no they have got it wrong. In the end i kept saying things will be ok once he's boy and slowly got used to the idea.

    Once Akex was born i fell in love with him straight away and i am now glad it was a boy in the end as i would change nothing now.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    May 2005

    this is one of the reasons that i found out the sex of Jelly at the 18 week u/s. i thought that by finding out earlier, i could prepare myself in case it was a boy and not a girl.

    in my case, i was told that it is a girl - but i cann't help being scared that they may have got it wrong.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Sep 2005

    My DH and I want a girl as we already have 3 boys, I thought that our last one was a girl and we found out at 19 weeks that it was a boy and we were disappointed for the rest of the day. But after that we didn't mind so much as long as he was born happy and healthly, so we have our fingers crossed for this one been a girl.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Jul 2005
    Rural NSW

    My feelings and experience was very similar to Michelle's: DH and I had a strong preference for another girl (2nd pregnancy) and were a bit shocked to hear that it was a boy (we wanted to know). I remember us sitting in the car afterward the u/s saying "so, it's a boy..." and feeling very outside our comfort zone. You see after working in an Early Learning centre for 5 years I kinda realised that girls were often "easier" and that boys had more "issues" but how wrong I was! Daily DH and I marvel at why we were worried about having a boy! We just love him soooo much and in fact he is more settled than our daughter ever was! (probably because we're more settled the second time around!) Now I realise too that yes, boys do take longer to adjust to structured care outside the home and yes, my son does take more time to separate from me but that's so normal. I'm just so surprised at my total turn about and how much I've learnt in being placed outside my comfort zone. For our third we have absolutely no preference and I personally even think that if put outside my comfort zone by some other issue such as special needs I'd probably do more than cope: I'd once again learn a lot about myself! My advice would be to not always assume you know what you want!

  7. #7
    Tigergirl1980 Guest

    *mitch* we were exactly the same, we REALLY, REALLY wanted a girl and Ben said that he NEVER wanted to have a boy because he hates boys, lol. But Jonah has been the biggest joy in our lives, I could not imagine life without him. And I'm sure if Goober is a boy, as soon as he is born you and DH will simply fall in love with him and forget about how you wanted to have a girl.

  8. #8
    Registered User
    Add Melly01 on Facebook

    Jul 2005

    *mitch* I know how you feel. I wanted my baby to be a girl and when we found out at the u/s that it is a boy I was disappointed. I am glad I found out at 19 weeks so I could have time to adjust, as bad as that probably sounds.

    I found the other thread if you would like to see that one as well.. here

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Jul 2005

    Hi there All

    Just wanted to throw my 5cents worth in....

    this is baby number one for DH and I and in the beginning DH had been quietly barracking for a little girl and i on the other hand was wishing for a little boy.

    At this stage of our pregnancy - where we still don't know the sex - the importance of the baby being a girl or a boy has been taken over by the sheer miracle of pregnancy and the wish and hopes for a happy, healthy bubba.

    I know it is often hard to stop our emotions and preferences getting in the way - but in all honesty as pregnant - mummy's to be I am sure that if push came to shove we would all take happy and healthy over a preferred sex - i am just glad to be pregnant and carrying this little treasure - i will be excited regardless of the sex....

  10. #10
    BellyBelly Member

    Mar 2005
    Limestone Coast, SA

    Hi Mitch

    i really want a girl too, so does my mother -in-law, but DH and everyone else want a boy. I thought that if we find out its a boy i would be very disappointed, but DH an I went window shopping and there are more cute things for boys than there are for girls, so now I am content with either. If the u/s guy says its a girl then i will jump for joy, if he says its a boy I'll be really excited.

    Don't feel guilty for wanting a girl more, my mum always wanted girls, she has four of them and says taht if we were all boys she would still love us just as much but she would feel disappointed at never having a daughter, i think these feelings are very common.

    I have my u/s the day after yours, lets hope its a good week for pink babies

  11. #11
    Registered User

    May 2005
    Good ole NZ !!

    Thank you guys for all your replies.. It is good to know that this is quite common & I am sure if the u/s shows us a boy we will still be excited.... just means next time round we would have to try for a girl LOL...

    Thanks again, you have all helped put my mind at ease...

  12. #12
    Fruitwood Guest

    Hi Mitch,
    We've just been through a similar thing but the other way around, lol. My hubby and his family are desperate for a baby boy but after my 18 week ultrasound the Obstetrician said that he was 90% certain that we were having a baby girl. It took my hubby a good 2 weeks to get over the disappointment and even now he's still holding on to that final 10% just incase, lol. I was initially hurt by his disappointment as he showed no interest in the baby after that but we finally talked about it and he's happy with another daughter but we will have another 2 children (hopefully) and one of them may be a boy. The best thing anyone ever said to me is that after he watches you go through labour he'll be happy just to have the 2 of you home safe and healthy. Best of luck I hope it all goes well for you.


  13. #13
    Registered User

    Feb 2005
    Mid North Coast NSW

    i think a lot of people have these feelings, but be confident that as soon as 'goober' is born you will love him/her more than anything and you wont want to change a thing!!!

  14. #14
    Registered User

    Jul 2005

    Mitch, I understand having a preference, and although I really didn't care this time around, I know I am going to want a boy for #2, for sure.

    DP was certain baby was a girl, but got told by everyone in his family (especially his father, who wants to 'see the family name continued' - utter crap and very upsetting!) and several very opinionated friends that it was going to be a boy. I was surprised how upset I was about their comments and started to suspect baby was a girl. We were right - so we get what we want this time around!

    I was a bit surprised after finding out how much I am hanging on to the idea that next time I'll have a boy. My DP is probably going to mind a lot less if we had another girl next time.

    Don't worry until the u/s, maybe it will help if you try picking out names for both? We found a boy's name so easily that we would have been happy about being able to name our baby so early had it been a he!

  15. #15
    Registered User

    May 2005
    Good ole NZ !!

    Thanks Guys for your replys

    We have our next u/s in 6 days.... so will be finding out then hopefully...

    We have a boys & girls name chosen.....

    Will keep you posted as soon as we find out!!!!

  16. #16
    Registered User

    May 2005
    Good ole NZ !!

    Well guys...

    Goober is now oficially known as Alexa Paige....

    DH is totally stoked & cant stop grinning...

    It is wierd.. in a way I had sort of resided myself that it would be a boy.... or maybe I was just using reverse psychology on myself!!!!

    Thanks for all you input guys..... & thank go d the stress is over... well for the time being at least LOL

  17. #17
    Registered User

    May 2004

    Congratulations on finding out you are having a little ,Mitch.

  18. #18
    Registered User

    Jul 2004

    Congratz on finding out your having a little girl!