despite desperately wanting a baby and having extreme difficulty accepting a miscarriage 10mths ago, and having found out we are having a little girl (i am absolutely stoked).. i am suddenly feeling really over the whole pregnancy. I am finding there are days where i am so low and depressed, i just want this little bub out of me (even tho i know it is too soon). Originally i was so excited by feeling her move, but now i am almost willing her to slow down a bit and give me a break. It isn't fun anymore. It doesn't help that i am SO anxious about everything. What if they got the sex wrong? i would never cope with that... i really dont think i would.... her name is up on the walls in the nursery and she has an entirely pink wardrobe thanks to her grandma.. it would not just be a logistical disaster, but i dont think i would deal with it emotionally. I am also petrified of going into premature labour. Every time i go to the toilet i am checking the discharge colour, freaking if it is the tiniest tinge of pink or light brown.. if i get a backache like period pain i'm worried and it usually turns out i am just constipated. the dreams are horrendous and so lifelike. i hate my job and can't wait to give it up (10 weeks and counting) and then to top it all off my husband has decided he doesnt think our marriage is working. he was adamant it was just over.. he doesnt feel good enough for me, thinks i deserve better, thinks i am the wrong type of person for him.... his family are filthy wth him... cant even write how my family is feeling with him... he has come around and agreed to counselling.. i havent looked into it as yet, but will do cos he is not the greatest communicator and it would help... but i am now living this life of wariness.... like i am just teetering on the edge and one wrong move and i will just tumble. i just feel so blah... i dont want to get out of bed.. i dont want to move... i dont want to do anything and i am only 25wks.. i still have like 15 to go!!! arrrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
sorry for the big rant.. i am just feeling really helpless at the moment.
I totally feel for you. it sounds like you could really use soemone to talk to. Does your GP / Ob know how things are for you atm? Some counselling might be good for you...just to be able to get it all off your chest.
Pregnancy can be a really emotional time anyway without dealing with what you are atm.. it sounds like you still have some emotional pain from your loss 10 months ago, and relationship trouble on top...no wonder you are feelign a bit strung out!
Trouble with DH & with your job...general stress & unhappiness can result in anxiety too...believe me I know... it really sounds as though it would be good for you to talk to someone now before bub gets here.
I would certainly do the counselling with your DH, but make sure you look after you as well...
Sorry to see you are finding it all really tough...The good thing is you are able to identify the things that are affecting your unhappiness and realise it is a lot of contributing factors, not just one or something you cant pinpoint.
The situation you are in is difficult and DH needs to step up for you. Hopefully the counselling will help.
I really feel for you, even though I have no real advice. Hang in there and use your family and friends, Im sure they would do anything to help you
Emmykate, I just wanna give you a hug, doesn't sound like you're having much fun at all.
Sounds to me like you need to talk to someone as well, because if you're suffering from a bit of a higher than normal level of anxiety and/or depression, it would be great to have it in check now, and not crumble into a heap when the baby comes and the stress levels rise even more.
I suffered anxiety and depression in the past for a short time, and come out of it brilliantly after just two visits to a fabulous counsellor in Sydney and exercises on how to cope with stress.. which incidentally, helped while in labour.
If you would like her name or number, let me know. She's based in the eastern suburbs.
And if not, may all the strength and love you need to get through this crappy patch come to you and make you feel better soon.
Hey sweets...
chin up. It sounds like your having it tough, but just think of the beautiful miracle inside you. You have a gorgeous little daughter, and im certain that she will be fine, and shes probably so excited on meeting you.
It sounds like you have a lovely, supportive grandmother, and thats wonderful to have!!!
In regard to your husband, I say chin-up, and take things slow. It will all work out for the best, and remember, the most important thing right now, is making sure that little miracle inside you is healthy and safe.
Try not to stress out too much, as it will only do you more worse than good....
totally over it
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