Girls, after a mini breakdown last night and a long talk with DH this morning I have come to the conclusion that I am focusing WAY too much on my baby's birth and not enough on the reason we're doing all of this- finally being able to bring a healthy baby home!
I have a dream birth in my mind, I have it all mapped out, how it's going to happen etc. I don't think this is a bad thing, it keeps me focussed but I think I have to let go a little and realise that my dream birth may not happen and if it doesn't- that's OK!
To be honest- I think I have been caught up with the opinions of some people on bb that intervention and medical opinions are to be avoided at all costs. I still want to do as much of this birth on my own as possible and I want to trust my body and let it do it's job but at the end of the day, my world isn't going to end if I need drugs or if the doctor has to intervene.
My biggest fear is that I won't be able to let go and if the birth doesn't go the way I want that it may impact our first few days together. I don't want to be focussed on anything other than our new bundle , I certainly don't want to be wasting time mourning the "perfect" birth. I don't meant his to be offensive to those of you who have had to deal with traumatic births- I am not talking about that at all, I understand that in those cases the grief is very real and HAS to be dealt with. I'm just talking about my idea of "perfect".
I don't know if any of this makes any sense. I know I'm rambling a bit. I certainly don't mean that I want to give up control of my birth, but I think there's a bit of a feeling with some people in bb that doctors are bad and only out for themselves. I realised that I don't think that about my OB, he may be a bit old fashioned and not have the best bedside manner but I truly believe that he is working in our best interests.

So- after that long ramble, this is what I'm asking. Have any of you got ideas for things I can do in the next few weeks to focus more on the joy of finally bringing our baby home rather than spending all my time focussing on the birth itself?