I get where you're coming from, and to some extent I agree. I think as long as you educate yourself and are empowered there's no reason to regret whatever happens next. We went from hypnobirthing to epi with our first, but I was still so proud of myself.
I watched an oprah once talking about what you wish someone had told you (if I'd known then what I know now kind of thing) and it prompted me to write letters to my babies outlining those things for them (for when they're older, obviously). It really made me feel like a mum for the first time. Oh, and I made them each a blanket.
Does any of that help? Try not to stress. I think for most of us once that baby is in your arms the rest goes out the window