It's frustrating when ppl share their own negativity and insecurity with us.
This is my firsdt baby but I am aiming for a natural birth centre birth and just about everyone I tell says the same thing.... in fact a colleague made a bet with me yesterday that I wouldn't be able to do it without drugs.
don't let them get to you honey i think our state of mind directly affects our success. we're made for this and we'll be fine!
I reckon be careful of the self fulfilling prophecy. Those people probably were told by their mothers that labour is unbearable and horrible. They went into labour with this fear and it came true for them. I think the absense of fear / positive reaffirming birth stories actually helps us to achieve the natural birth we want. Our bodies can do this! Women successfully gave birth before drugs, and we can do it again.
I tend to walk out of the room, or at least shut the convo down, when people try to tell me scary birth stories. See you soon.
People love to share their war stories with preg mummas!
Whilst yes it does hurt dont be afraid, be proud that you have the chance to birth a baby....men cant....so we must be pretty special!!
If you want all natural no drugs, theres nothing stopping you, if you get to labour and you change your mind, so be it, thats fine too.
You dont get a medal for having no drugs or saying it didnt hurt. We all feel pain differently...ive had 2 births, both times ive said no drugs...both times ive had them. While i feel i left myself down, i truely beleived at the time i needed them, so i used them and the end result was my 2 DD's....
Chin up and think positive....you CAN do this and you WILL do this....forget what others say!
it is frustrating when people focus on the negative side of things.
i have done it before and i'm really looking forward to doing it again, its the most amazing experience you will go through in your life, and the feeling of seeing and holding your baby for the first time is inexplainable .
good on you for thinking positive, just remember that of it doesn't go exactly as you planned, don't be hard on yourself, every birth is different!
Everyine says to me "homebirth? so what kind of drugs CAN you have?"
"not having any"
"are you crazy??!!"
"yep, and INFORMED... did you know blah blah blah"
then they shut up
People have a need to share their bad experiences, and dont get me wrong there are times that things do go wrong and medical intervention is a god send, but.....
The people i know in real life who have the horrible stories are genereally the ones that have been drama queens thier whole pregnancy and need to make a "show" about it all.
Hey - your body was made to eat, sleep, dance..... it was also made to birth your baby. Naturally. Women have been doing it since time began, you can do it too. But I dont think its anythign to "psche" yourself up about - be calm, in control and empowered. Every pain you are feeling is one drug free pain for your baby, and is one step closer to meeting your little one!
I think sometimes people aren't told the negative and then they are shocked after birth. Both sides is probably better as it's more realistic.
An example is my cousin just had her first baby (she's 39). I don't think anyone said anything except the positive and she is still shocked at the pain 2 months later. She was disappointed from her perspective that no one was absolutely truthful.
I think the best thing to do is research all you can, all sides of birth, and then you can go into it with an open mind. Every experience is different and I think people just want validation as to what they went through. I don't believe they're really telling you what is going to happen, but more what happened to them and therefore that is their truth. If they didn't get the perfect birth they may have wanted, then they might find it difficult to see someone else get it? xoxoxo
I went in to my birth with DD the same as you SJ. I got to 7cm dilated drug free until DD went in to foetal distress and I had an unplanned c/s. However going into #2 I am planning a VBAC and also drug free. I know I have been there before (although not quite the whole way) and I will be doing everything I can to get there.
I'm not scared - I wasn't scared with DD - and although it is good to hear all experiences you need to remember that that is all that it is - someone else's experience. You will have your own experience that you will able to share but that is what it will be - your experience.
I got my drugfree, totally natural birth on 25/09 when little Zander was welcomed into the world - read my birth story hun!!! Read all the birth stories here - no matter what happens, they provide a lot of inspiration.
You are not being unrealistic at all. I have had a fantastic vaginal birth with just gas (which I really didn't need either). The problem is that others have had the horror stories before their births, which has made them scared, which is led to pain relief and complications. If you can break the cycle by ignoring it all and going into your birth relaxed and calm, you will more than likely have a great birth. Sure there is pain, but it is bearable and you can get through it. And let me tell you, you will be glad you did. You feel a MILE better afterwards if you have as natural a birth as you can.
I have not once done the scaremongering thing to pg mums since having a baby, and I hope I never do. I don't know why others do it, it makes no sense to me. Especially when birth isn't as bad as it's made out to be.
Yay! Thankyou so much everyone!! I feel better now, knowing I'm not being unrealistic and that I shouldn't be scared, everything will be ok and I CAN do this!!!!
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