I think sometimes people aren't told the negative and then they are shocked after birth. Both sides is probably better as it's more realistic.
An example is my cousin just had her first baby (she's 39). I don't think anyone said anything except the positive and she is still shocked at the pain 2 months later. She was disappointed from her perspective that no one was absolutely truthful.
I think the best thing to do is research all you can, all sides of birth, and then you can go into it with an open mind. Every experience is different and I think people just want validation as to what they went through. I don't believe they're really telling you what is going to happen, but more what happened to them and therefore that is their truth. If they didn't get the perfect birth they may have wanted, then they might find it difficult to see someone else get it? xoxoxo
I went in to my birth with DD the same as you SJ. I got to 7cm dilated drug free until DD went in to foetal distress and I had an unplanned c/s. However going into #2 I am planning a VBAC and also drug free. I know I have been there before (although not quite the whole way) and I will be doing everything I can to get there.
I'm not scared - I wasn't scared with DD - and although it is good to hear all experiences you need to remember that that is all that it is - someone else's experience. You will have your own experience that you will able to share but that is what it will be - your experience.
I got my drugfree, totally natural birth on 25/09 when little Zander was welcomed into the world - read my birth story hun!!! Read all the birth stories here - no matter what happens, they provide a lot of inspiration.
You are not being unrealistic at all. I have had a fantastic vaginal birth with just gas (which I really didn't need either). The problem is that others have had the horror stories before their births, which has made them scared, which is led to pain relief and complications. If you can break the cycle by ignoring it all and going into your birth relaxed and calm, you will more than likely have a great birth. Sure there is pain, but it is bearable and you can get through it. And let me tell you, you will be glad you did. You feel a MILE better afterwards if you have as natural a birth as you can.
I have not once done the scaremongering thing to pg mums since having a baby, and I hope I never do. I don't know why others do it, it makes no sense to me. Especially when birth isn't as bad as it's made out to be.
Yay! Thankyou so much everyone!! I feel better now, knowing I'm not being unrealistic and that I shouldn't be scared, everything will be ok and I CAN do this!!!!
Good Sarah. Something I read in Kaz Cooke's 'Up the Duff', was that people's comments are bout THEM, not about you.
The people who said negative stuff to me, I found out later, had complicated births. So that's their experience of birth. It has absolutely no bearing on what YOUR experience of birth will be.
Positivity and confidence can make a huge difference! Go for it!
Definatly not unrealistic! How many people have had drug free births? It is obviously do-able!
Yep it's gonna hurt but the thing is, stress and fear make it hurt a lot more. If you are calm and just accept and go with your body it's not as painful. It's when your body tenses up that it really hurts. These people may have been scared and had quite complicated births which they probably think is how all births are.
Take it with a grain of salt (or less) and go in there with a clear mind. Have your head held high and the have faith that you can do this!
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Something I read in Kaz Cooke's 'Up the Duff', was that people's comments are bout THEM, not about you.
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