Hi Carmen, I agree with Monnie (I seem to do that a lot! haha) You don't have to decide on your pain relief right now. Make yourself aware of what's available to you though, and talk to your support person about what you THINK that you might like. Look into a whole lot of alternatives, not just drugs.

I have of about the book that Monnie reccommends and have heard that it is really good. Might be worth a read. You still have a fair bit of time to get your head around all of this.

I personally refuse to have an epidural unless it's completely necessary, as I have had a bad experience in the past with having a spinal anasthetic, and don't want to go through that again. But that is MY personal request. I have made sure that my DH is completely aware of it, and if I ask for one, he is to refuse it. When in labour with DD I begged for one, and I am so glad that he held strong and denied me it, as that is what I asked him to do. He nearly caved, but didn't. And now I know that I can do it without one.

Make sure that your support person/people know about what you decide for all of your requests, as they are the ones who may have to take charge while you are in labour.

As far as tearing is concerned, with my first pregnancy I didn't tear at all, and I put it down to having really good relaxation techniques and strong pelvic floor muscles. When your baby is crowning, and they say "stop pushing" I found that I really had to remove myself from the situation (relaxation and breathing) and just hold the baby where it was (muscle strength). And I'm not going ot lie to you, it hurts!!! Like nothing else that I've ever felt!!! I don't want to scare you, but I can't describe how painful it is. But then once you get through that, that's it. A couple more pushes, and your bub is in your arms.

I practiced yoga and exercised my pelvic floor throughout my last pregnancy, but not so much with this one, so it will be interesting to see how I go. I might have to get ready for stitches.........oh well. It's my own fault.

Good luck with it. I hope that you make decisions that you feel happy with, and don't feel pressured into doing anything that you're not comfortable with. It's YOUR labour, and you do it YOUR way.