thread: I'm just not that into it. Yet.

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    Inner South East suburbs Melbourne
    1,213

    I'm just not that into it. Yet.

    I've got eight weeks left of pregnancy, and I'm getting a lot of comments about, "oooh, you must be so excited about meeting your new baby soon". And yes it will be nice but I'm really not that excited about it yet. I swear, dh is cluckier than I am. I held my new nephew a couple of weeks ago for a little while and I didn't really want to be holding him, it actually freaked me out a bit. The whole baby thing is leaving me a bit "meh" at the moment.

    I'm in no hurry for this baby to get here. I love him to bits, the wee little squirmer in there, and he delights me daily - but I am just not that impatient to get him out. I guess I know what's waiting for me "on the other side" and this was a very unplanned pregnancy.

    It's not that I don't want him or don't feel bonded - but I am a bit nervous that maybe I'm *not* as bonded as I would normally be at this stage.

    I do remember with dd4 having a scan at 32 weeks because of a low placenta and falling madly in love with her face and getting more and more excited. I have a scan on Friday for the same reason and I'm sort of hoping those magical maternal feelings surface.

    I thought at first this was just me being all grown up and patient and relaxed about stuff but now I'm beginning to worry a bit that I'm not feeling the "right" things... Maybe I need to get more uncomfortable to get a bit more eager to meet him!

    ?nyone else feel this way?

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Feb 2008
    Near the Snowies!
    2,975

    I still have ages to go, but at the moment while I love my bump and feeling the kicks, the idea of actually having a newborn in the house scares the crap out of me! Maybe it will get better as time goes on, I'm not sure, but I don't really have the first idea what to do with a little baby, and keep imagining not holding it's head correctly and horrible things happening... At the moment I'm just trying not to think about "bringing baby home" and hoping those motherly instincts will kick in later on.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Feb 2008
    Country Victoria
    5,945

    awww hugs!

    it is completley normal to have a rush of emotions running through u. I was the same.. one day i was like "yay!" the next im like "uh oh".

    Being a mum is one of the hardest jobs you will ever do in life but the most rewarding. If you dont bond straight away, thats fine... just remember, its normal.

    there is no "right" or wrong way to feel about having a baby.

    Mayb sit down and work out y this pregnancy feels so different? Are you worried about finances?? Or worried about the every hour wake up?? or that you might not have enough time for your other kids???

    U can always come in here and talk to us or even your midwife, thats what we are here for.

    Try and enjoy the last 2 months of your pregnancy xoxox

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Oct 2006
    Sydney
    4,081

    Toomany, maybe it is just that you have so much on your plate? It can be hard to anticipate excitedly the arrival of more work! (Sorry, that sounds dreadful - of course you are going to love and bond with your baby, but given you've BTDT a few times already, you are more prepared than most for how much time and energy a new baby takes.) Plus, being in your final weeks, you must be really tired.
    I would say that even if the mummy-joy doesn't kick in when you see bubs at the scan, then it will once you have him in your arms.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    Inner South East suburbs Melbourne
    1,213

    Thanks friends

    Snacks, I think that is just it - I know how much work I'm in for and I'm already exhausted. I keep looking at my trashed house (I can't bend over to pick things up or vacuum) and wonder how on earth I'm going to cope with being a SAHM with all this mess. At least now I get to walk out in the morning and go to work and leave it all to dh Of course, once I'm not pregnant I'll be able to pick things up again!

    Hollye, I *am* worried about meeting the emotional needs of another human being, I must admit. I "only" have four kids living at home at the moment, with the eldest having just moved out, but it is already difficult finding time to give them all. Once I'm not working full time, I'm sure it will be easier. Finances, schminances, really - we'll be broke, but I don't really care. (Easy to say now I guess.)

    Ss-storm, your post made me laugh, in a good way, because I so remember that feeling. I still don't know how #1 survived - I'd never even held a baby before I had her. I had no idea how to get a singlet over her head for months LOL.

  6. #6
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    Sep 2007
    travelling
    9,557

    Hunny, wait til you have a little boy!!
    Changing nappies was my biggest challenge!! You have to move things around
    Once he's here you will be the same as after every one of your other babies. You won't be able to imagine life without him
    You have alot going on atm & I really don't think you've had a chance to get excited! You'll get there!

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    Inner South East suburbs Melbourne
    1,213

    Hunny, wait til you have a little boy!!
    You know, I wonder how much of it is that I am actually quite nervous about having a little boy. I don't "do" boys - I've never expected to have a boy baby, and just assumed this one would be a girl like all the others! Part of me is thrilled that I get a novelty factor after all these kids LOL, but I'm really, frankly, quite nervous. I keep seeing all these cute little boys and thinking that I will adore my little boy too, but it feels just, well, odd.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    Inner South East suburbs Melbourne
    1,213

    This thread is better than therapy LOL.

    And cheaper!!!

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    Nth West Melbourne
    997

    I'm sure it will all be totally different when he actually arrives. I wasn't really into the whole pregnancy/ baby thing when I was pregnant- I didn't get that whole bond/glow thing or any kind of spiritual epiphany or great sense of wonder. I was sick all the time, I felt like crap and I was scared to death about birth. I really felt defective and scared I wouldn't bond with my child. I was also scared about having a boy- I had really wanted a girl.

    Of course, it TOTALLY changed once he came out and I met him. I didn't even know your heart could open up that much! And I LOVE having a boy, it really is so much fun.

    I know its your 6th and it was my 1st, so its different, but fwiw, I felt much the same and it did all change once he was out. I'm sure it will be the same for you!

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    Inner South East suburbs Melbourne
    1,213


    I know its your 6th and it was my 1st, so its different, but fwiw, I felt much the same and it did all change once he was out. I'm sure it will be the same for you!
    Thanks Amber - I'm sure it will too I just feel a bit odd reading about women at my stage who are so excited and can't wait for it to be over!! I wonder perhaps if I am just enjoying pregnancy and that's as deep as it gets! I'm quite contented, I'm not putting on tons of weight like I normally do and I'm loving all the attention.

    I'm glad things worked out for you, too. And I don't think it matters if this was my first or my fourteenth, I've learned every pregnancy is different, that's for sure.

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    Nth West Melbourne
    997

    Oh, I know, I so miss all the attention and sense of anticipation!

  12. #12
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    Sep 2007
    travelling
    9,557

    Hunny, little boys are so much fun!
    They are completely different to girls. Alot more laid back & relaxed, but very much mummy needy.
    Jesse's not interested in pretty stuff like the girls were, he crawls out to the car & stands against the car wheel & is happy there.
    He will go to almost any male, but when it comes to women, he just wants mum.
    He likes the dirt & being outside. Its a fight to get him inside already! At mum & dad's he tries every chance he gets to sneak off to the shed & the boys & when down there he'll just wonder around the compressors, & tools quite happy.
    They are way less complicated than girls

    Don't be nervouse (I was too). I still spin out on almost a daily basis coz I have a boy! I'll just say out of nowhere...look! I've got a boy!

    Oh & just a pre warning...its doesn't take very long for the obsession with their 'bits' to start!! Jesse won't leave his alone! Touching it on things & pulling it in all different directions!!

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    Inner South East suburbs Melbourne
    1,213

    You aren't reassuring me bj LOL. I find men a bit gross sometimes. I love my husband to bits but I find some male behaviour, well, offputting, to say the least!!

  14. #14
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    Sep 2007
    travelling
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    Yeah, but thats on a man!!
    On a baby its cute!

  15. #15
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    Inner South East suburbs Melbourne
    1,213

    I just ordered a beautiful blue organic cotton hotsling, and I must admit, i feel a little excited now!

  16. #16
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    Sep 2007
    travelling
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    Yay!! I love buying blue & black. Cars, trucks, motorbikes, skulls & crossbones, BOYS stuff! It is so much fun!

  17. #17
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Redcliffe,QLD
    104

    Toomany, I have only a few days till my EDD and I don't even think I am that ready to meet and greet this baby in the world yet. & this is only Baby #2 for me!

    well, I am ready and then I'm not....it is all very confusing in a way. I have been giving and reciting myself daily affirmations that this labour and birth and baby will be a lot different and I feel realy confident after reading/listening to them.

    I have even had a few nights of early labour twangs already , and when I fall back to sleep and wake up, I kinda give myself a big sigh of relief and talk to my baby and say take your time bub...

    My partner works 6 day weeks and he gets exhausted at the end of the working day and he will sleep or be cranky on his only day off and do everything half arsed around the house...so it gives me visualisations that I'll be the only one doing everything or barking the orders. I am also worried that this new baby will be exactly like my first born, which freaks me out coz lil C was QUITE difficult and is still very hyperactive.

    Then, on the other side of the coin, I know that this baby will be an absolute blessing coz my partner will realise the stuff around the house just has to get done, no ifs or buts, and done well! Cierra will have a little playmate And as this baby will be a Pisces it will be calm and relaxed, a GREAT sleeper and a totally different human being!

    My thoughts are that if I stay calm and relaxed , my world will stay calm and relaxed.
    I just hope my karma is catching and my partner starts chilling out a bit more too..
    I think he is super anxious just because the new baby can come ANYTIME now..