thread: Memorable Midwife Encounters/Experiences

  1. #1
    BellyBelly Life Member

    Jul 2004
    House of the crazy cat ladies...

    Memorable Midwife Encounters/Experiences

    Has anyone ever had a really, really nice midwife.... or a real b*tchy one??

    The ones that stand out for me are when I was in labour... I had two different midwives, as they changed shifts in the middle. But they may as well have been the same person... they just weren't that friendly or warm... and the attitude they showed to DP was unbelieveable!! It was like they didn't want him there at all!
    We had been in the labour ward for hours, and it was past midnight, and freezing. DP was so cold and tired so he lay down on the floor with one of the blankets from the heating cupboard... Well when the midwife came back she went OFF at him for taking a blanket, saying that they were for me and bubs only. and I was like 'come off it! There are over 20 blankets in there!' Plus I didnt even want one for myself as I was so hot...... She was such a COW!
    This was the midwife I had I my 39 week appt the day before, and she had completely depressed my by saying that there was no way I would be having Aidyn by my due date, and to expect to go 2 weeks overdue. I left that appt in tears, LOL.
    Anyway, just glad I proved her wrong, seeing as she was the one to deliver Aidyn not even 48hrs later...

  2. #2
    layla Guest

    Good topic Ambah!
    I had a wonderful midwife when I gave birth to Kate.
    I was pushing away, only for a bout 15 minutes mind you, and the Ob goes "oh, we'll have to do an episiotomy" I really didn't want another one (had one with Sean) but couldn't be bothered arguing. Anyway, Lyn, the midwife, said "No, we don't need to do that" and off she went to the cupboard and came back with a pot of Vaseline! She took a big glob of it and wiped it around my perineum. With the next push she gently eased Kate's head out, no tearing or anything. I could have kissed her. It made such a difference to my recovery, I went home less than 24 hours later.

  3. #3
    BellyBelly Member

    Aug 2004

    I met a nasty midwife on a Jetstar flight to Brisbane. I was in the front row, and she was behind, and it was a late flight (like 11pm??) I put my chair back, and she DUG her knees into my back. So I wiggle around, she digs them in again. This carried on for about an hour.
    Finally I sit up and say "Is there a problem". "Yes - you have you chair tilted back and I have no space. Plus you keep moving around."
    I then informed her that I was 5 months pregnant, and I couldn't get comfortable - particularly since she was digging her knees into my back!
    Then she tells me she's a midwife..... So did she understand me? NO!!
    She was on the flight back to Avalon too. I have flown so much, and with the exception of small children, I have never had a person behind me behave like this.
    Now Avalon is an airport that mainly caters for Geelong people, so I am petrified that this woman works in the hospital I'm having my baby in, and she's going to be the midwife!
    If she's that bad on a plane in public, how nasty will she be in labour?
    Fortunately, every midwife I have met since has been lovely. Phew!

  4. #4
    Weegie Guest

    There are some nasty stories out there. But also some nice ones too...

    I don't have any personal experience with this (yet) but I thought I'd tell you my mum's stories. When she was in hospital giving birth to me (her first child) she had a midwife whom she said was absolutely fantastic so much so that she named me after her! Well sort of, the midwife was Sarah Louise and she called me Louise Sarah. Almost 20 years later she was in hospital having my youngest sisters (they are twins, and she had another daughter in between me and them) and had the nastiest midwife. This lady bought my 40 year old mother who had just had her 3rd and 4th children to tears by telling her off for having a breast pump in her room - it wasn't that big of a deal but anything can upset you when you have just given birth I would imagine....

  5. #5

    I didn't like the midwife that was with me for Lachlan's birth. She didn't believe me that I was in labour, even though i was practically groaning my way thru contractions, and hooked up the fetal heart monitoring. I had to ask her do an internal and she "OH MY your 7cms dialted" so she broke my waters, which gave me the urge to push, and Lachlan was born a very short time later.

    Some midwife if she didn't know I was in bloody labour !!!


  6. #6
    BellyBelly Member

    Mar 2004

    The midwife I had when I gave birth to Grace was fantastic. Her name is Leah and she made me feel so comfortable in her presence and encouraged me to try different positions and movements to help with the pain and she was so calm and encouraging throughout the actual birth process which was great as I hadn't expected to be giving birth with no drugs. She was also great to my mum and Stephen, involving them in the process. My mum really appreciated it as she is a nurse/midwife too and found that when I had Harry the midwife was very dismissive of her (like mum was stepping on her territory or something).
    Then afterwards she left us to spend time with Grace bonding and having her first feed and didn't take her away to be weighed and measured until an hour or so later, when we asked her to do it. The whole experience was a very positive one for me, which I am grateful for.

  7. #7
    Life Member

    May 2003
    Beautiful Adelaide!

    Darwin is a small place with a small hospital & when other women ask me "Which midwive helped you deliver Olivia?" and I tell them "Jane" & they are all envious, becasue she is famous in Darwin for being the best!

    Jane is about 50+, absolute salt of the earth, fantastic sense of humour, incredibly sympathetic and supportive. DH adored her as she really involved/respected him. She was just wonderful, & I feel so lucky to have had her assist.

  8. #8

    Shannon. Funny you should say that. I found the best midwife to help me learn to breastfeed was also a guy !! He was still around when I gave birth to my 2nd child and so on his break he came in and chatted to me cause i told him how wonderful I found him the first time around.


  9. #9
    BellyBelly Life Member

    Jul 2004
    House of the crazy cat ladies...

    LOL, this has reminded me of the male midwife that came to help me settle Aidyn in the middle of my 2nd night there. I even asked him outright 'are you a midwife?' in complete surprise!! But he did a fantastic job getting Aidyn to settle, he showed me a rocking technique that I used for ages sucessfully

    I also have to say that the BEST midwife I encountered was also at around 3am on my last night there. She made me feel sooooo much better about so many things, especially the fact that I was comp feeding Aidyn with formula.

    Oh yeah, and I forgot to add, I had a REAL COW of a midwife on the wards as well. She was so, so pushy and harsh! Her english wasnt fantastic either, but she was constantly ordering me around, and then getting up me for not doing things, though she hadnt even told me to do them! (either that or I hadnt understood her?)
    And then I almost cried on day 2 when she was on shift, and was on my ward again! #-o

  10. #10
    BellyBelly Member

    Apr 2004
    Outer East, Melbourne

    I didn't get off to a good start with the midwives - I was in and out of the Angliss over a few days having the gel business to bring on labour and they all kept saying that it would work and I'd be back the next day to have the baby. Especially one young one who just flitted in and out of the room and holding my hand when nothing was going on.

    Then there was the old chook after Caitlin was born and I was having trouble settling her and this woman just marched in and took her out of my arms, no please, thank you or nothing.

    I think I liked the midwife best who gave me the pain drugs in the first coupla days :-)

    And the male midwife (midhusband?) I kept thinking he was an orderly.

    And I wasn't happy with the way the dealt with taking Caitlin to the special care nursery 12 hours after she was born and not telling me anythng for two hours. And when she was in the nursery and I asked about her coming out, and they said they would have to see what the doctor said at 4pm when he came in, and then you ask another nurse and they say there are no more doctors coming in and she's in there overnight.

    The midwife who did our classes beforehand was OK.


  11. #11
    BellyBelly Life Member

    Jul 2004
    House of the crazy cat ladies...

    Oh Barb, I think thats terrible! Are they really allowed to stop you from seeing your brand new little one for a whole night?? And not tell you anything either!? That is so rude and inconsiderate of them! [-X

  12. #12
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Nov 2003
    Kilmore Vic

    I had some very good midwives and some terrific midwives in my labours. The 1st was excellent, even had an argument with her DH as she had to stay after her shift to be with me. My 2nd midwife was very good, my 3rd was also very good and my 4th was excellent.

    But there was 1 midwife in the hospital everytime I had a bub, who we called dragon lady, and I hated her. With my 1st she was really pushy and insensitive to me and made my attempt at brfeeding very negative. She would put cold facewashers on Jordan's head to try to calm her down so she would go on the breast and to me that just wasn't going to work. She would grab my breast and twist and push me and I felt very abused/violated. I was 19 yrs old and I think that was part of her attitude towards me. She wasn't quite as bad when I went in with my 2nd but I was 25 then and I don't think she judged me at that age.

    I did notice a diff in the way I was treated by 1 midwife when I had my 3rd, she had no time for me, not even to chat and ask how I was, as I wasn't br feeding and the other 2 girls were. So she would sit one their beds waffling away and then just give me a flick of the wrist as she left.

    Strangely enough when I booked into the hosp to have my 4th she did the paperwork, was very nice about everything including my decision to bottlefeed from day 1, and she was leaving to go on mat leave herself. Wonder if the hormones and the fact that it was her last day had anything to do with it.

    Cheers Michelle

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Jan 2004

    When I went into the labour ward I was terrified as one of the midwives i had was the big, loud woman who looked like she was a footballer in a past life, even DH was petrified of her. But it actually turned out to be a good thing, she was brilliant. She was one of those, 'you can do better than that" people, which is what i wanted.

    I also had another midwife, and the two of them were telling dirty jokes while i was having contractions and pushing. Dh said it scared him, as he thought they weren't taking things all that seriously.

    When I was told that I needed the emergency c-section, she came to theatre with me, told me to squeeze the sh*t out of her hands if i needed to, then told DH that I had to be knocked out and he couldnt come in, but she would stay with me the whole time.

    As they were prepping me to go to surgery, she told me that i should be proud of myself, because she was proud of me. The other midwife told me later that she had never heard her say this to anyone before. So i felt pretty special, even if they were telling fibs!!


  14. #14
    Senior Moderator

    Nov 2004

    About five years ago, my DH was working as a nurse in the Accident and Emergency Department at Frankston hospital.

    Half the male midwives in Victoria (I kid you not) were actually working in that A&E Department. There were, at that stage, six male midwives in Victoria.

    Apparently that number has gone up hugely in the last few years, which I think is great. Good on the guys for getting into it!

    I had a wonderful midwife at Monash MC, her name was Betty, she was in 54North, where I was for a month before Alex was born. She was so caring, and we got along really well. She was the one who insisted I stay in a shared ward for the month before Alex was born, as she said that I needed company. She was right. I think I would have been really depressed on my own.

    But she (as the nurse unit manager) also managed to get me a single room after Alex was born, especially as he was in the special care nursery for his whole stay, and I would have been the only woman on the ward without their baby next to them overnight... She was REALLY good.

  15. #15
    BellyBelly Member

    Feb 2004

    Isn't it amazing how different can they be? I find it strange that some midwives can be such cows, I mean, why be in that job - it's obvious that it's an occupation that requires a certain amount of people skills! The midwife I had when I first got to the hospital was horrid - she butchered my hand when she was putting the canula in ie. stuck it right through the other side of the vein, then got cross at me, saying it was my fault for being nervous! The midwife I had for my labour, Linda, was absolutely brilliant. She was a bit stern and no-nonsense, which I think I needed, but was really lovely and got teary at the end when I had to go off for the C-section, telling me I should be very proud of myself etc. She was also really good with DH which I think is important. She then came in early to work the next day so she could come visit me in the labour ward before her shift in the birthing suite started!

  16. #16
    BellyBelly Life Member

    Jul 2004
    House of the crazy cat ladies...

    Beth you were at the RBWH weren't you?? The name Linda really rings a bell... she wasn't the one that delivered Aidyn, but she may have been the one I had who was on the shift before...
    Though it sounds like you had a much better experience with her

  17. #17
    BellyBelly Member

    Sep 2004
    Sunshine coast, QLD

    Interesting topic
    My experience was a blur due to me having no pain threshold at all!! But one midwife told me to shutup! That i will never forget, a couple of months later i got send a survey and i noted that in there on how i was treated, but yeah i am so hoping this time around i will get someone who is a little more understanding than that!